newsobserver.com blogs -- wiredforweird

Not Halloween Yet

jshaffer70 — Mon, 13 Sep 2010 10:15:25 -0400

There's a crispness in the air, but judging by the brown bat flailing on the Fayetteville Street sidewalk this morning, there's no enthusiasm yet for the season of spooks.

The creature fluttered and sputtered in front of the Capital Bank Plaza, indifferent pedestrians glancing at his last gasp, until a janitor came and unceremoniously swept him into the gutter -- where he remains to this moment.

I keep imagining his furry corpse morphing slowly back into its vampire form, and cursing the Monday sunrise with its final breath.

Basketball Fairy

jshaffer70 — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 16:58:15 -0400

The basketball players of Durham's Wilson Street had been scraping by with a banged-up, oval-shaped hoop. It had fallen down a few times and taken more than few pavement shots to the rim, turning many a pretty 3-pointer into a disappointing clanger.

But this morning, the hoopsters of the Watts-Hillandale neighborhood woke to find someone had delivered a new goal overnight. No explanation. Just a brand-new hoop. So they're chalking it up to good fairies, or maybe some magic dust that wafted over from Duke.

Chim Chim Cheroo

jshaffer70 — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 15:42:38 -0400

Check out this dispatch from the Associated Press. Perhaps Mr. Hussey was practicing to be a mall Santa ...

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. -- A chimney sweep may be lucky as lucky can be, but William Hussey was neither.

The Knoxville News Sentinel quoted Knoxville police who said a homeowner heard cries for help and traced them to her chimney early Friday.

Police found a sport utility vehicle abandoned with a door open in the road near the home. There were seven gasoline containers in it and a strong smell of petroleum coming from it.

Then, they found Hussey in the chimney of someone he didn't know. Hussey is 22 and is from Chapel Hill, N.C.

The fire department used a rope to hoist him and he was taken to a hospital to be examined.

Police charged Hussey with public intoxication, vandalism and aggravated trespassing.

Officers had no explanation for why he was in the chimney.

Another Satisfied Customer

jshaffer70 — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 16:19:26 -0400

Spotted on Oberlin Road near Wade Avenue. Sometimes, the "on hold" music on the customer service line can drive people to drastic measures.

Divine aid, please

jshaffer70 — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 15:06:55 -0400

Sad sight in Garner: two Mormons with their bike upside-down on the side of the road, furiously working a pair of wrenches in 100-degree heat.

Peachy

jshaffer70 — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 21:49:02 -0400

I was pulling out of downtown Durham today on 147 when I saw homeless woman standing on the on-ramp holding a sign that said, "I live in these woods."
It was hot. Hot hot. And the woods where this woman claimed to live looked like they'd be really noisy, being about 10 feet from highway traffic.
But nobody gave this woman any change. Nobody gave her anything until one man rolled down his window and extended his hand with a peach in the palm. The homeless woman walked out into the middle of traffic, accepted his gift with a smile, and took a bite.

Pleasantville

jshaffer70 — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:20:06 -0400

Have you ever noticed that the Hardees sign on Creedmoor Road is completely black and white, and that the gas station sign just down the road -- I think it's an Exxon -- is also completely lacking color?
I think that maybe that block is stuck in a time warp, and it's still 1954 there.

Where the Buffalo Roam

jshaffer70 — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 15:51:36 -0400

OK, Weird fans. Here's an offer you need to jump on: One Mrs. Lorraine of Durham is giving away one whole house for free!
It's a charming, pink, two-bedroom number that looks to be some kind of double-wide. You can spot it in the free section of today's Craigslist. Mrs. Lorraine warns that there's "asbestos" in a back bedroom, but beggars can't be choosers. Also, it's not airborne so you won't need to fret about "cancer."
Just one catch: this offer is available on a to-go basis only. Want it? Gotta move it. No word from Mrs. Lorraine on whether that means all at once or one piece at a time.

Learn at the Feet of the Master

jshaffer70 — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 17:35:16 -0400

The No-Hand King is giving wheelie lessons!
Seriously, what else need be said?
You've seen Rodney Hines riding one-wheel style down Person Street, American flags attached to his bikes, abs cut like Mount Rushmore.
Now Raleigh's quirkiest celebrity will be teaching his art to mere mortals. Sign up now at www.thymusicgroup.com.

Classified Ad of the Day

jshaffer70 — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 18:23:59 -0400

From the Dunn Daily Record. Somehow, I think the owner isn't far away:

"Found front wheel off wheel chair on Ashe Ave & Powell Drive, Dunn. Damaged but can be repaired. Call 910-892-5002 and leave message."

Pocket Full of Nickels

jshaffer70 — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:16:16 -0400

So I'm waiting for an inspection at the Snappy Lube on New Bern Avenue when in walks a woman in a halter top and short shorts. She waves to the manager, who puts down his wrench and listens to this story:

"You look like the nicest person in the world," she tells him. "I've got five dollars in change, and I've been up and down this street, and nobody will give me a $5 bill for it. Will you do me the biggest favor ever?"

She looks a little haggard. There's a dark bruise on her lip, and her clothes, while revealing, look like she's slept in them for a few nights. But the manager says sure, if she'll just wait until he can finish balancing a set of tires.

While she's waiting, this woman spreads what must be 50 coins on the counter, pushing them into little piles. I can't see any pennies, but she appears to have been carrying at least 25 nickels in the pockets of these shorts.

After a while, the manager counts them all up and hands her a bill.

"Thank you so much," she tells him. "You've got the prettiest eyes." And off she goes.

I've got a few theories about what just transpired at the Snappy Lube, but I'm not sure where all the change came from, and why the woman needed paper money enough to spend an hour trying out every cash register in Southeast Raleigh. I'm glad the Snappy Lube was nice to this non-paying customer. I think I'll just, as Iris Dement put it, let the mystery be.

Fun, fun, fun till daddy takes your big wheel away

MattEhlers — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:03:30 -0400

Each Friday night during the summer, the kind folks at Seaboard Station off Peace Street open up their parking lot for big wheels, beer drinking and live music. As long as the rain stays away, it's a fun, inexpensive and relaxing way to end the week.

A band plays (donations accepted), beer is sold, and kids are welcome to bring their big wheels, tricycles and whatnot for scooting around the parking lot. For parents with small children, its an easy way to spend some adult time with friends while the kids expend their energy.

But because nothing fun can happen in Raleigh without an extensive set of rules about the parameters within which that fun must operate, the event comes with several posterboards filled with written guidelines.

One rule emphasizes the need for parents to keep their children within the part of the parking lot where scooting around is allowed. Older children often begin the safety violations, the sign says.

"The older kids take it up a notch, then another notch. Pretty soon we have a jailbreak."

A jailbreak? On big wheels?

This reminds me of the time the Carolina Hurricanes paraded their Stanley Cup around a parking lot instead of through downtown. Or the time Eddie Money was hired to rock Fayetteville Street.

Raleigh. Where parties sound like a good idea.

But might not be worth the trouble.

Free Food!

jshaffer70 — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 07:07:53 -0400

Some crazy person is giving away a whole, perfectly good box of frozen eggs rolls. They're only a month old, for Pete's sake, and nobody will take them. Consider the flavorful goodness: white-meat chicken in a zesty Asian sauce.

Come and get it at Falls of Neuse and Millbrook roads!

Inquire within: sale-gsfag-1825907952@craigslist.org

Shattered Hooters Beauty

jshaffer70 — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 11:03:24 -0400

This story has everything, friends!
We here at Wired for Weird wish we wrote it ourselves. The least we can do is pass it on and tip a hat to our coastal friends at Lumina News:

Drunk driving victim is beauty pageant contestant

by Brian Freskos

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Before a drunk driver ripped away the tendons and ligaments in her knees, broke her spine, and shattered her pelvis, rendering her immobile, Wilmington resident Lindsey Blythe Casey was a beauty pageant contestant.

In preparation for pageants, she had been tanning and regularly toning her body at the gym, six days a week for two hours each day, while she worked two jobs.

Last Thursday, June 3, Casey, a graceful blonde with an oval face and a glittering smile, was slated to compete in the 14^th annual Hooters International Swimsuit Pageant regional finals. A win there would have earned her a shot at the nationals in Florida, where a $50,000 cash payout lay on the line.

As the Ms. Wilmington Hooters winner of 2010, she felt like her chances were favorable.

That is, until early Sunday morning, May 30, in Wrightsville Beach, when a white Honda Accord, driven by a man allegedly drunk, high and texting, ripped the opportunity out from under her.

"Right smack dab in the middle of it I got hit by a car," she said in a telephone interview last week from her bed at the New Hanover Regional Medical Hospital. "That was something big that got taken away from me."

The Honda’s driver, Jedadiah Allen Woodcock, is confined to the New Hanover County Detention Facility in lieu of $65,000 secured bond.

Police have charged Woodcock, a 32-year-old hairstylist from Rocky Mount, with striking Casey and one of her friends, Marc Miller, as they walked west in the 500 block of Causeway Drive early that morning on Memorial Day weekend.

That night, Woodcock had been drinking at beach bars, until he and a friend hitched a taxi to their Wilmington hotel, according to a police report.

At the hotel, Woodcock felt hungry. His friend lent him the Honda to go to Wendy’s on Eastwood Road, a few blocks west of the Heide Trask Drawbridge.

Woodcock told police the restaurant was closed when he arrived, so he chose to lap the John Nesbitt Loop in Wrightsville Beach instead of eating.

It was after 2 a.m.

Woodcock came through the downtown district before traveling west on Causeway Drive about the same time a streaker was garnering attention. As he traveled through the section between Island Drive and Coral Drive, the vehicle neared a group of young adults.

"That’s when everything happened," Woodcock told police.

In interviews last week, Miller, 26, and Casey, 25, said they had joined friends at the 22 North bar around midnight. They left near closing with a group of about 10, heading over the Causeway Drive Banks Channel bridge.

The bars had recently let out, flooding the street with patrons.

Miller, also of Wilmington, said the crowded sidewalk forced Casey and him to step off onto the roadway.

Just then, Miller remembers headlights. He remembers peering behind himself and he recalls a car nearing.

After that, he said, all he remembers is pushing Casey out of the way.

They were struck by the vehicle, traveling approximately 40 mph. Miller came to rest 14 feet from the point of impact; Casey settled 22 feet away. Bloody tire tracks stretched 50 feet on the asphalt, according to the report.

Their heads hit the windshield, leaving remnants of hair pasted to the glass.

The Honda’s hood was dented, and the windshield was so severely smashed it was nearly impossible to see through. Tidbits of glass lay scattered on the dashboard, underneath a pair of sunglasses dangling from the rearview mirror.

Witnesses told police the driver barely tapped his breaks and continued westbound until sirens approached, and then he pulled into the parking lot of the Landing Shopping Center and stopped.

"I remember waking up on the ground with my friend standing over me, talking to me," Miller said.

Miller said he sat up, and felt his leg was crooked, so he lay down again on the pavement. His friend snapped his broken leg bone back into place. Shock stalled the pain.

Casey bears no recollection of the incident.

Miller recalls being loaded into the ambulance beside Casey, as she writhed in pain, screaming and crying. He suspects she passed out en route to the hospital. It was suddenly quiet.

They were transported to the New Hanover Regional Medical Center. In the meantime, friends contacted their parents.

Miller’s mother, Debbie Edwards, said her phone rang in Fayetteville a few minutes after 2 a.m. She immediately relayed the news to her two sisters and her daughter, who both high-tailed it to the hospital (Her one sister, Julie Mitchell, was being readied for chemo treatment when the call came in. She made doctors remove the port immediately).

Increasingly anxious, Edwards, 56, drove to Wilmington—a 2-hour journey—with only one shoe on.

When Edwards arrived, throngs of people mobbed the waiting room, all friends of Miller and Casey.

Casey remembers opening her eyes to see doctors and nurses furiously cutting through her jeans. With severe internal abdominal bleeding and dangerously low blood pressure, doctors held back on dispensing pain medication, fearful Casey would fall into a drug-induced coma and never wake up.

"I remember looking around and I saw my mom, and I started crying because I was hurting really bad and I didn’t understand why," Casey said.

Casey’s shattered pelvis was broken in six places. Her ligaments and tendons were completely torn away from her right knee; and her ACL was ripped in the left leg.

Miller’s injuries were also severe. He underwent surgery Sunday night so doctors could remove and replace his leg bone with a titanium metal rod, screwing it into the ankle and knee joints.

His left hand is also broken.

Doctors used staples to repair their skull injuries.

In need of pelvic surgery, Casey was transported from New Hanover to the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Hospital. But doctors there discovered vertebrae broken in two places. Hesitant to disturb bone alignment, they chose not to operate, and sent her back to New Hanover later that week where she remains.

Surgery will be required on both of Casey’s knees. Two operations are needed on the right one alone. Doctors say she will be wheelchair bound for six months and will need assistance walking for a year. She will spend time at a live-in recovery center, learning how to walk again.

"I was able to scoot to the edge of the bed yesterday, but I can’t get out of bed yet," she said on Sunday, a week after the incident.

She does not have health insurance; Miller does.

Miller was discharged on Wednesday, four days following the incident. He uses a walker to travel around the house. Crutches are out of the question while his hand is broken. Pain medication has kept the throbbing at bay, though headaches still abound. Months will pass before he walks normally.

On Wednesday, June 9, Miller was reached for an update just as he returned from a doctor’s visit, where four staples were removed from his head. He said he was recovering well.

Edwards is staying in Wilmington to assist Miller back on his feet.

Casey remains in the hospital. Pills and injections tame the pain. Braces stabilize her legs, encasing them from her ankles to her thighs. But she is in good spirits, partly because her friends and family are continually visiting.

Asked about her pain, she quips, "It feels like I got hit by a car."

Neither expressed hostility toward the suspect charged with the accident.

"He still gets to walk around and have a job," Casey said of Woodcock. "Me, I’m sitting here in bed. When I hurt real bad I get upset, thinking this isn’t fair, why did this happen?"

"I’m frustrated that I’m sitting around, but with everything going on with Lindsey, I haven’t really thought about it," Miller said when questioned over whether he harbors animosity toward Woodcock.

Though they never dated romantically, Miller and Casey have forged a close friendship over the years. Casey credits Miller with saving her life. Authorities told her that had he not pushed, she would have died.

"It touched me so much that he did such a courageous thing for me," Casey said.

Before doctors transported Casey to Chapel Hill, she insisted on visiting Miller. Doctors arranged to place their beds side-by-side, Edwards said, and the two of them spent about an hour together.

A distance learning student at the University of North Carolina Pembroke, Miller has a dealership license and he buys and sells cars to make a living.

Casey works two jobs—one at a local tanning salon, and another at Hooter’s Restaurant on Market Street.

Woodcock has been charged with DWI, two counts of inflicting serious injury by vehicle, driving during revocation and possession of marijuana.

He declined a request for interview.

One of the first to arrive on scene, Officer D. Gentzler, a Wrightsville Beach reservist, said Woodcock was standing next to his car with his hands clasped over his face.

Woodcock’s clothing was completely soaked in sweat and he was shaking continuously, according to the report.

"His sentences were broken up and he continued to talk about going to Wendy’s and going home," Gentzler said. "The driver started rambling on about how this all happened because he was having a hard time with family back home."

Gentzler said the suspect was having panic attacks. At the station, Woodcock was so disoriented he was unable or unwilling to use the telephone.

Woodcock blew a 0.09 blood alcohol level, a notch over the legal limit of 0.08. Police found a glass mason jar in the glove box with marijuana inside. Next to the jar were rolling papers.

A cell phone lay on the floorboard, part of an unsent text message on the screen.

Woodcock has a lengthy driving record in the Nash County-Rocky Mount area. According to the clerk of courts office there, he was convicted of a DWI in January of this year, and his license was revoked.

To support them financially through this difficult period, Casey said the Side Bar in downtown Wilmington is holding a charity event on June 15, where all proceeds go to benefit them.

Keeping baby happy: TV in the grocery cart

MattEhlers — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 12:41:38 -0400

Proving that there is no place that an enterprising marketer won't shove a television, behold the VeggieTales grocery cart:

I saw this the other day at a Kroger in suburban Atlanta. I apologize for not snapping a better picture, but the thing was kinda shoved into a corner.

In essence, it is a small TV monitor with a grocery cart built around it. Open the door, buckle junior into the bottom of it, and go about your shopping.

Theoretically, he will be mesmerized enough by the singing vegetables that he will not bother you about buying gummi bears and cupcakes.

If he bugs you about buying VeggieTales DVDs, well, that's just the price you pay.

Here's Lung in Your Mouth

jshaffer70 — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:24:40 -0400

From our friends abroad:

Frenchman Who Ate Cellmate's Lung Gets 30 Years Jail

By REUTERS

Published: June 24, 2010

ROUEN, France (Reuters) - A French convict who killed his cellmate and ate his lung was sentenced to 30 years in prison on Thursday.

Nicolas Cocaign and Thierry Baudry had a fight when Cocaign asked Baudry to wash his hands after he had used the toilet during the night of January 2, 2007. Cocaign strangled Baudry and cut open his chest with a razor blade.

Thinking it was the heart, Cocaign then ripped out a piece of Baudry's lung and ate part of it raw before cooking the rest.

"What I did, I liked doing," said Cocaign, 37, who has a shaved head and whose face is covered in tattoos.

He will have to serve at least 20 years of his sentence.

Illegal signs. Potential fisticuffs?

MattEhlers — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:30:46 -0400

Not long ago, I wrote about battling illegal signs in my neighborhood. The signs, usually advertising new housing developments, pop up on right-of-ways every Saturday.

They're against the law, and an eyesore, so every weekend I take as many down as I can find. I toss away the signs and use the metal posts in my garden. In the past few months, in a three-mile radius of my house, I've probably picked up more than 50.

I was out again Sunday evening, picking up a half-dozen or so near the corner of Jones Franklin Road and Appleton Drive in west Raleigh. As I was yanking out a sign, I heard a voice calling out, "hey, hey, hey!"

A man in his mid 40s left his van in the roadway and ran up to me. He told me that he worked for a sign company and was paid to install sings for a couple of developments. He demanded that I return them.

There was no way I was going to. If I did, they would've ended right back on the corner where were standing.

I told him so. He reached for them, and I backed away.

I thought to myself: is this guy going to assault me for a handful of signs?

I reiterated that the signs are illegal. He told me he was just trying to make an honest living. I told him there's nothing honest about illegal signs.

Eventually, he decided against taking the signs by force. He hopped back in his van and as he drove away shouted out the window: "see you next weekend!"

I hope not. But if the signs return, it just means more posts for my tomatoes.

Ice Ice Baby

jshaffer70 — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 10:29:30 -0400

Has anyone out there been iced yet?
The newest hipster game, featured in The New York Times, of all hipster publications, has younguns tagging each other with concealed bottles of Smirnoff Ice, the world's most unpalatable beverage. If you're "iced," you drink it, on the spot. The only defense, apparently, is to equip yourself with a defensive Ice bottle, blocking the attack. So if you see someone with a Smirnoff Ice on a key chain, it's strictly for protection.

The Child Inside

jshaffer70 — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:46:29 -0400

Spotted on Martin Street downtown:
Young man wearing a do-rag, tattoos up and down his arms, looking incredibly intimidating except for one item – his huge red Elmo T-shirt.

Watch Your Head

jshaffer70 — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 10:51:42 -0400

Attention misunderstood giants:
Here's your chance to finally see somebody eye to eye. The Tall Club of NC meets at Marriott City Center June 25 for its first-ever meet and greet. If you're a man, you've got to be 6-foot-2. Women: 5-foot-10 plus. If you've got a short spouse, bring 'em along, but somebody in the family must be a daddy longlegs or no cocktails with the big folks.