What happened when I OWNed my whole day

It was rainy and grey outside, my back ached from standing and waiting for the acorn to drop. Perfect excuse to stay in, lounge on the couch, and watch OWN, Oprah Winfrey's new cable channel.

I started at noon, with the Oprah-hosted guide -- that white on white outfit was not flattering, O, not even a little -- and stayed tuned until my eyes started to hurt and my family got belligerent. My impressions:

Kidnapped by the Kids: It's a show about how parents work so much their kids have to kidnap them to get their attention, so you know it's sappy, even without the treacly music they add with every poignant moment. Don't know how many times they can tell this story in fresh way. And by the way, why don't we deal with the real issue -- the bosses who demand more and more work for less pay!!

Oprah Presents Master Class: This seems like it will be as interesting at the subject. The subject this time was Jay-Z, who I find interesting. The show is well-produced, good use of stills and video and Jay-Z's music. Still, the point of the show is to glean lessons I can learn from his life and bring them into my life. That boiled down to: Be True to Yourself, Dream Big, You Can Learn from Failure. Hmm. I kinda think there's more to how Shawn Carter became Jay-Z. In the end, Oprah clarifies: You may not become Jay-Z with these guidelines, but you can become the best you can be. Oh.

I think the problem with this show is that the celebs make the show sexy, but you also want to be like them, and that's probably not realistic. And I'm not sure hearing Jay's fabulous ascent offers a sense of satisfaction with a much smaller life.

Enough Already! with Peter Walsh: Organization and clutter expert Walsh helps folks get rid of their stuff, and watching this made me think that folks with this much clutter may be just some dog poop away from hoarders. (I'm guilty too.) Anyway, the emotional heft comes from Walsh finding out the reasons behind the clutter and in this case, it was pretty heavy and moving. Not a bad show, but not unlike others on the air.

Searching For...: This is a straight rip-off of "The Locator" (finding lost family members) so I switched over to a vintage "Law & Order: CI" with Neil Patrick Harris playing a shy guy cannibal. Excellent crying scene by Harris and Eames got a killer final line in the episode.

Season 25: Oprah Behind the Scenes: My favorite show, probably because I, too, work at a place where a bunch of people work behind the scenes to create a product for which only a few people get credit. The first episode showed the making of the first show when Oprah told her audience she was taking them to Australia; the second episode was about talking to the Judds and O's return to the West Virginia town that was virulently homophobic. You learn a lot about Oprah as a boss; her staff desperately wants to please her and is more than a little afraid of her, her staff also may be candidates for Kidnapped by the Kids (there's lots of talk about loooong hours). I like this about O: when she's wrong, she owns up to it, and then praises her staff for their work, something that gives them confidence to do better and better work. That's good management!

I DVR's "Miracles Detectives" and "In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman." When my fam allows me back on the TV, I'll report back.