There wasn't much screen time for our North Carolina cosmetologist on the second episode of "Survivor: Philippines." But we'll say this for young Dana Lambert — at least she's playing like she's seen this show before. That's not the case with some of her fellow players, whose gameplay was just dumb, dumb, dumb.
To wit, anyone with even a passing interest in "Survivor" knows that you don't align yourself, um, physically with the Sexy Young Thang you just met. But that's exactly what dopey bartender Malcolm does with this season's designated SYT, former Miss Utah Teen Angie. The two, at right, spend a lot of time cuddling up because they say they're cold. But their behavior is just putting big targets on both their backs.
It's also not wise to separate yourself from the rest of your tribe, but that's just what Lisa ("Blair" from TV!) does. The former "Facts of Life" star tells us she's always been a bit of a loner. (And here we thought she was tight with Tootie and Natalie.) On "Survivor," of course, going off on your own usually spells doom.
And we all know "Survivor" means being out in the elements, right? Well actually, this seems to surprise seminary student Roxy, who wasn't prepared for rain, cold and being away from her family and friends. (Does her seminary have some anti-TV rule or what?)
Amid all the questionable decisions from people who seem like a bunch of whining "Survivor" newbies, the Kalabaw and Tandang tribes continue to dominate at the Immunity Challenge. Which means Matsing — which just voted off Virginia country boy Zane — must head to Tribal Council again.
And that brings a whole referendum on snuggle bunnies Malcolm and Angie. Roxy, in particular, doesn't like their close relationship and describes Angie as a "booby trap." (Pun absolutely intended toward the former beauty queen and her considerable assets.) Malcolm insists they are just close like a brother and sister are, but ... no. Outside of Greek tragedy, siblings just don't intertwine their legs like Malcolm and Angie were doing.
Host Jeff Probst gives Angie a chance to make a case for herself, but she fumbles her response worse than a replacement NFL referee making a crucial end-of-game call. Asked what she would most change about her tribe, which has lost twice in a row, Angie says she would like some cookies. Yes, cookies!
Still, the dim beauty queen comes off better than Roxy, left, whose opposition to Angie becomes more shrill and obnoxious by the minute. Her tribemates send her packing.
Other observations from this week's episode:
--Dana, sporting quite the Southern accent, helps lead her team to second place in the Immunity Challenge. She was responsible for telling them how to place pieces on a giant puzzle. They didn't always listen to her, but she generally did a good job.
--Jonathan Penner, the returning player on Dana's team, finds his first hidden immunity idol ever. Thank goodess — maybe he'll shut up about it now. (Sorry, not a Penner fan.)
--The game's other former beauty queen, ex-Miss Delaware Katie, must give bad interviews. She has barely received any screen time this season. Nor has Carter, an apparently mute guy who looks a bit like Ellen DeGeneres.