Real Housewives of New York: Holy where's the catfight?

The premiere of the second season of Real Housewives of New York didn't bring the "holy catfight" promised in previews, but there was a little drama. The premiere centers around an interview Jill gave to the NY Post in which she criticized Simon in response to him telling New York Magazine that "Jill's from Long Island, and boy, that shows."

Here's what I love about Simon and Alex. They can't afford the Hamptons, so they deride those who can. Yet, the first Hamptons party invitation they get, they pack up their little Faux-Frenchmen and hightail it to the coast. And they can't afford a big nice house there, so they criticize the "McMansions" they secretly crave.

The best sequence is when they are driving around East Hampton looking for their simple rental house (with a pool, so that the kids can play), and you can just smell what's coming: their rental is a dilapidated farmhouse with a cluttered, tacky interior.

Simon cheerily says "wow" about fifty times, trying his best to convince his shell-shocked wife that this is going to be just great. You know he's freaking inside because the cameras are there chronicling their humiliation.

Alex just stares silently, taking everything in (and there's a lot to take in!). Simon says the inside is "just awesome" but Alex notes that it's "decorated within an inch of its life." I'm sure they didn't mind staying there as much as they minded all of us knowing that they stayed there. The rundown house does have a "strangely lavish pool," and Mr. Glass Half Full informs us as he picks up a broken pool gate door and sets it aside, "gate slides across!"

The Socialite Magazine party (which is just "so pedestrian") is where Jill has to apologize to Simon's face about the Post article. Somehow Simon's Long Island putdown has been forgotten, and it's all on Jill to apologize. And she does, about ten times. She admits it was foolish and childish of her to say the bad things about Simon, and she's sincerely sorry. Alex and Simon really need to let it go.  

Best moment of Socialite Mag party: "Oh thank you sweetheart, but The Countess doesn't drink beer out of a bottle." You gotta love LuAnn.

Also, the new housewife is introduced -- Kelly Killoren Bensimon (left), a former model who is also a fashion writer. She attends Jill's charity benefit in the Hamptons, even though she had a better invitation from Christian Dior.

We see fairly little of Crazy Eyes Ramona, which is a blessing. She does attend the benefit and talks Kelly's ears off about her daughter, Avery. Kelly says Ramona seems "very very nice" and "gregarious." Then Miss Nice --  the queen of rude, hasty departures -- abruptly leaves the benefit when she sees Simon and Alex arrive. Having been the victim of Ramona's rude (and totally bizarre) vanishing act once before, Jill pronounces her "common."

Other random thoughts ... There's a lot of talk about Simon being, if not gay, then bisexual or "confused." Also, at Kelly's Hamptons house, people hang out by the pool in riding clothes. Wonder what the OC Housewives would think of that?