You know why Jim is still cool? He can slip in a wink to the camera while blinking messages in Morse code to Pam to drive Dwight crazy.
And do you know why Dwight is still crazy? He thinks that the best way to prove that Michael's new girlfriend is cheating is by attempting to seduce her at her gym with some inappropriate moaning as he works out his inner thighs on the Cybex machine.
The moral of Thursday's episode, though, is that you don't send Dwight and his skeevy tanktop undercover to solve a mystery that Facebook can unravel in five seconds. Well that, and you can't expect to buy Andy's silence with a $5 Dunkin Donuts gift card.
Michael's giddy in love again, this time with Donna, the curvy manager of Scranton's favorite video arcade/sports bar. We know he's in love because he calls staff meetings to announce how well he and Donna are clicking, emotionally, sexually and orally. With the emotional maturity of a high schooler reveling in his first time, Michael still feels compelled to let everyone know how much sex he's having.
Only now he's having so much sex with Donna in the Poconos that he needs the staff's help figuring out non-sexy outings with the new love of his life. That prompts Stanley to stomp off to get his crossword puzzle done in peace, but the rest of the staff wonders why Michael's new girlfriend is always dragging him out of town to eat and/or get some lovin'.
Just like that, they plant the seed in Michaels' brain that Donna's cheating on him, which prompts him to hire Dwight to tail her as a private investigator. Their brief haggling over Dwight's P.I. rate offered a flash of the snappy dialogue this show used to have:
Michael: What's your rate?
Dwight: $100 a day, plus expenses.
Michael: I'll give you $50. Money's no object.
Meanwhile, Andy fields a customer call about his new Sabre printer catching on fire. Darryl sees this as his opportunity to get back at Andy for the time a couple years ago that he incorrectly blamed the warehouse crew for a late shipment that almost cost Darryl his job. Darryl convinces Andy that Dunder-Mifflin's new corporate overlords at Sabre are covering up some type of conspiracy involving flaming printers.
He feeds Andy's paranoia with hints that he overheard Sabre's Scranton guy Gabe mumbling something about terminating Andy. Now convinced that Sabre wants him dead, even after Gabe gives him a Dunkin Donuts gift card to thank him for passing on the customer's complaint, Andy is quick to jump on Darryl's suggestion to videotape himself using a Sabre printer.
After he feeds the printer about 300 assignments, though, the printer starts to smoke, and Andy is ready to turn state's evidence. Darryl, on the other hand, just wants to back away from the wild-eyed whistle-blower he's created.
As far as subplots go, that worked better than the main story line. Shockingly, Donna does not succumb to Dwight's masculine wiles. A worried Michael is left inventing new comfort foods (mayonnaise and olives?) until Pam uses Facebook to find some pictures of Donna canoodling with another dark-haired man who probably doesn't woo her by calling her "bonerrific."
Michael confronts Donna in the parking lot, who admits that there is another man. Only in this case, the "other man" is Michael, because Donna's married.
"I'm the mistress," Michael says, and somehow that seems to make him feel better.
Could she have picked a worse guy for a discreet fling?