Let's not bury the good news: I didn't waste 12 weeks of viewing and more than 30 hours of recapping!

But let's start at the beginning: there's a review of the four remaining teams with little bios. Bates & Anthony are described as having positive attitudes. They've been on a roller coaster, Phil says, and of course, there is talk of their relationship with the Blondes.

The Newlyweds leave first for Belfast. There they'll get into a Ford Fiesta and drive to a park. Bates & Anthony leave second; they'd like to see the Derby Moms get eliminated from the final four because they are tough. The feeling is mutual; the Derby Moms say they don't understand why the Newlyweds and the Blondes would work to help Bates & Anthony because they're such a strong team. I gotta say, the Derby Moms make a lot of sense. Bates & Anthony do seem to have special super powers of niceness that blind everyone to the fact that they are the most athletic team and they are no dummies either.

At any rate, the teams meet up on the ferry to Scotland and arrive to Belfast all at once. The teams run for their Fiestas and there's a directional divide. Bates & Anthony follow the Newlyweds; the Blondes and the Derby Moms go the other way. Bates & Anthony have been directionally challenged through the entire Race, but they know how to follow real good. They've made the right choice to follow the Newlyweds (after all, Mrs. Newlywed has a PhD), and they're in the mix with the second strongest team.

The next task involves one team member doing a cannonball into a muddy bog and swimming laps in a snorkel in under four minutes. Anthony does the task but Bates has the pleasure of helping to squeeze Anthony's 'junk' into a wet suit. Anthony says it's hard to breath in the mud, but nonetheless manages to do it in just over two minutes.

Next, Bates & Anthony have to find the 'Thing With a Ring," which turns out to be a statue. They get stuck in traffic which puts the Newlyweds and the Derby Moms ahead.

Awaiting them is a Detour. Tray It involves serving five courses to first-class passengers on the Titanic (the setting is the place where the Titanic was built); the food must be served in the correct order. When all courses are served, teams will get the next clue.

Spray It involves finishing one side of a piece of graffiti art by using a picture of the other half.

Spray It sounds fairly easy to me but Bates & Anthony choose Tray It. The Newlyweds start it first and figure out what will become the major hurdle: there's a menu list and there's a chart with seat assignments. Follow the menu list; the seat assignments are secondary and tell you, when there are menu options which items the person chose. If you follow the seating chart, you'll get it wrong.

But first Bates & Anthony have to figure out what consomme looks like. (The Derby Moms had to figure out how to pronounce it.)

Bates is doing the serving and Anthony is doing the plating. The serving involves not just carrying the tray, but carrying the tray about 100 yards back and forth and running up a bunch of stars. It's exhausting.

At first, Anthony makes the seating chart error, but he fairly quickly figures it out. Then Anthony drops the second course. Bates is not happy. By the time they get to the fifth course, it seems things are going well. It's dessert, after all. But Anthony can't get the dessert course right. The menu item is unfamiliar but it has the word 'chartreuse' in it. And Anthony thinks 'chartreuse' is red. It's not. It's yellowish or green.

It gets heated; Bates gets really mad and Anthony gets kind of scared. Anthony predicts Bates will kill him if he gets it wrong again; he gets it wrong again and Bates threatens to kill him. Bates calls Anthony the worse partner ever. It feels very big brother/little brother; like Bates used to beat up Anthony when they were kids. On the other hand, it's kind of interesting to see Bates lose it.

Even with the chartreuse debacle, Bates & Anthony are right behind the Newlyweds. It's pretty much a foot race to the pit stop. The Newlyweds win by a few seconds and get a trip to the Dominican Republic. Mr Newlywed talks stuff too: he says the Newlyweds won't be intimidated by some old athletes.

It's so cool that they'll soon eat those words with a side of chartreuse.

Sadly, though Bates & Anthony's friends, the Blondes are bested by the Derby Moms. After they were bested by the fact that one of the Blondes can't swim and had a freak out at the muddy bog.

Still, they leave graciously because they've seen that people are good all over the world.

It's down to the final 3. Bates says he doesn't want to relive the feeling of losing in a final like he did when he didn't win the Stanley Cup. Not winning, he says, is not an option.

The 12th leg has the Newlyweds leaving first, heading to Liverpool, then off to London to have a beer and get the clue for their final destination. Bates & Anthony say they feel freakin' awesome and Bates likes their chances of finding a bar because that plays to their strength. Yes, you can consider that a Lucky B's plug. Anthony correctly predicts that the Blondes are toast and the Derby Moms are in it.

Bates, in another show of his dark side, wishes a rough leg on the Newlyweds, like he and Anthony had after winning three legs in a row.

They're off to Washington, D.C. where Bates lived for a little while. The first clue sends them to the Lincoln Memorial and the spot where Martin Luther King Jr. gave his "I Have a Dream" speech. Bates breaks out the dictionary and calls the speech 'iconic.'

From there, the teams are sent to 1100 Pennsylvania Avenue where they're told they'll take a picture with President Obama. Now, just think about that. The president of the United States who gets criticized when he takes a vacation is going to make time to take a picture with the contestants on a reality competition show.

As ridiculous as that sounds when you say it out loud, all the teams actually think the POTUS, the Leader of the Free World, is going to take a picture with them. Mr. Newlywed, a staunch Republican, even gets kind of excited, although when he discovers that it's just a green screen picture he tries to pretend that he's relieved. Bates took his scruffy hat off and everything. (Although I think the President would have said, "Please, put your hat back on." That hair. Ugh.)

The roadblock is a throwback. The teams have to say a code phrase to the right secret agent among 50 agents to get a case that opens with the combination that matches the order of their arrival in New Zealand, Indonesia and Vietnam. Bates takes the job and beats Mr. Newlywed, who started the task first. And he's written down the order of his finishes.

That sends Bates & Anthony to National Stadium where they must complete Play Ball, a task that involves one team member being suspended from a zip line. The flying team member has to toss a ball to the teammate below dressed in mascot garb (well, as a giant inflated baseball); the teammate must catch it. Anthony flies, Bates catches. Anthony feels confident because he and Bates played baseball as kids. Bates points out they didn't play baseball dressed as a giant baseball. That makes catching the ball like trying to catch with one eye closed. Still, Bates catches it on the second attempt.

That sends them to Go Global, which sends Anthony in a giant bin of blow up globes, some marked with the 10 countries they visited. Anthony has to toss the globes to Bates, Bates has to put them in the right order in which they visited and then the clue will be revealed. It's a bit of a Chuck E. Cheese nightmare, but with patience, Anthony succeeds. Anthony reveals that they would look at the maps on the plane rides to identify the countries; Bates admits he wouldn't have been able to identify the countries before the Race.

But they do find them, and that means they can head to George Washington's Mount Vernon, the finish line. On the way, Bates says he's so nervous the rest of his hair might fall out or turn gray. (Fall out! Fall out!) Anthony says win or lose, he wouldn't have wanted to do the Race with anyone else.

But of course, it's win, not lose. In Lucky B's shirts no less. Anthony head butts his brother in a display of joy. Phil brings up his false teeth, and Anthony says now he can buy new dentures. Bates says he hasn't felt like this in a long time; hockey hasn't given him that sense of triumph lately. The Race, they say, is really amazing. And the Blondes pledge to be friends for life.

All that's left to say is: Hey man, can I get a loan?

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - Years ago in Central Park, Robin buried a "something old" for her wedding, but now she can't find it.

Rihanna 777 (8pm, Fox) - Pop singer Rihanna invites fans and photographers along for the ride on her November 2012 tour that flew to seven countries for seven concerts.

Castle (10pm, ABC) - A whistle-blower is killed and the crime scene gets sealed by Homeland Security. As Castle and Beckett continue to pursue the case, they learn that the cause of death was not a car bomb but a missile from a military drone.

Dear Mom, Love Cher (10pm, Lifetime) - The life of Cher's mother, Georgia Holt, is explored, from her humble roots in Arkansas to her triumphs and disappointments as a singer and actress in Hollywood.

Bates Motel (10pm, A&E) - Norma encounters a mysterious stranger and Bradley becomes annoyed with rumors at school.

Hawaii Five-0 (10pm, CBS) - The body of a girl who was kidnapped 10 years ago is found and Five-0 searches for the culprits, who have now taken their next victim.

Revolution (10pm, NBC) - Miles and Neville find themselves on the same side of a cause, and Rachel and Aaron are captured by militia forces.

The Simpsons (8pm, Fox) - Lisa voices her displeasure at a hologram of music legend Bleeding Gums Murphy, and Sonny Rollins (as himself) shows up to ask her to stop boycotting the record label. Also, Grandpa is injured while babysitting Bart and then decides he'd rather be looked after by his grandson than by the nursing home.

Amazing Race 22 (8pm, CBS) - In the season finale, the final four teams continue to race in Belfast, Ireland, and former Carolina Hurricanes player Bates Battaglia and his brother Anthony (left) are in the mix. After one team is eliminated, the remaining players fly to Washington, D.C., and scour some of the city's historic landmarks for a chance to win $1 million. Will Bates and Anthony come out on top? Check back after the show for Adrienne's recap.

Mr. Selfridge (9pm, UNC-TV) - Arthur Conan Doyle convinces Harry to allow a seance to be held at the store. Also, Agnes transfers to the fashion department and develops a closer relationship with Henri.

Game of Thrones (9pm, HBO) - Robb considers a compromise to mend his alliance with House Frey. Meanwhile, Melisandre visits the Riverlands and Tywin plans strategic unions for the Lannisters.

Revenge (9pm, ABC) - Emily adjusts to being Daniel's fiancee again and plans her next move, but Aiden has trouble accepting her new role.

Nurse Jackie (9pm, Showtime) - A heavily medicated Jane Doe is brought into the ER and Jackie orders Zoey to find out her identity.

Mad Men (10pm, AMC) - Roger changes tack to make new business and Pete has an awkward run-in with a client.

The Bletchley Circle (10pm, UNC-TV) - In the Season 1 finale, the killer becomes obsessed with Susan and plants a series of false clues in order to lead her into a trap.

Cops (8pm, Fox) - Season 25 ends with officers from Las Vegas Metro Police dealing with an unruly suspect. (I hope I didn't give away any plot surprises!)

Smash (8pm, NBC) - A surprising incident occurs and connects "Bombshell" and "Hit List."

Doctor Who (8pm, BBC America) - Bodies are found in Victorian Yorkshire with skin that is waxy and glowing red.

My Cat From Hell (8pm, Animal Planet) - Jackson helps out when a cat who pees on everything comes between two roommates who have lived together for five years. Later, a cat is constantly bullying another cat int he same household.

Life with La Toya (10:30pm, OWN) - La Toya Jackson goes on a date with a firefighter in tonight's installment of this bizarre reality show. (Yes, it's a scrimpy night of TV.)

Saturday Night Live (11:29pm, NBC) - Zach Galifianakis (Can I say too many times that Zach is from North Carolina? Zach is from North Carolina.) hosts SNL for the third time. His musical guest is Of Monsters and Men.

Kitchen Nightmares (8pm, Fox) - Chef Ramsay helps the owners of a Cajun-style restaurant in Nashville, who had to relocate their eatery after Hurricane Katrina and have been unable to rebuild their customer base.

Happy Endings (8pm, ABC) - Back-to-back new episodes close out Season 3. In the first, Penny's mom (Megan Mullally, left) and Dave's dad (Michael McKean, left), who have been dating, visit and announce that they'd like to adopt a baby. In the second, Alex and Jane's older sister, the alpha female, is getting married and Jane is charged with planning the wedding. ABC has not yet announced whether "Happy Endings" will get a fourth season. (Please, ABC!)

30 Days in May (8pm, BET) - Boxer Floyd Mayweather's 2012 stint in jail for domestic battery in an incident involving his ex-girlfriend is chronicled.

Maron (10pm, IFC) - A new series based on the life of comedian and celebrated podcaster Marc Maron. In tonight's opener, an abusive tweeter torments Marc, so he decides to teach the internet troll a lesson. Dave Foley guest stars tonight (future guests include Denis Leary, Aubrey Plaza, Adam Scott, Jeff Garlin and others). This isn't a particularly strong debut -- Maron seems a little awkward and uncomfortable in the lead actor spot -- but that gets better in later episodes, so definitely check back next week. (In fact, next week's episode with Denis Leary is online right now if you want to check it out.)

Blue Bloods (10pm, CBS) - Danny blames himself when a young woman commits suicide because he had made a promise to her in the wake of her parents' death. Meanwhile, violence involving a gang at a housing project erupts and effects the Reagans.

Ke$ha (10pm, Logo) - Ke$ha meets an inspiring fan in Manchester, England, in the opener of this series following the life and career of the pop singer.

Big Bang Theory (8pm, CBS) - Sheldon is excited when he hires Professor Proton (Bob Newhart), the host of his favorite childhood TV program, to appear at his apartment.

Beauty and the Beast (9pm, CW) - Cat invites Gabe to a remembrance event her family holds annually for her mother, and Cat uncovers info that makes her question whether her mom is really dead.

Grey's Anatomy (9pm, ABC) - Bailey refuses to accept help from her colleagues, and Owen worries that Ethan will land in foster care.

Parks and Recreation (9:30pm, NBC) - In the Season 5 finale, Leslie celebrates her first year as a city councilwoman, and Andy calls her alter ego, FBI agent Burt Macklin, out of retirement to help with an investigation. Elsewhere, April receives life-changing news and Tom considers a big business opportunity. This better not be a series finale!

Hannibal (10pm, NBC) - This episode, dubbed the "Silence of the Lambs" episode, centers on Hannibal Lecter's bad deeds and on an imprisoned killer (played by Eddie Izzard) who tries to take credit for them.

Scandal (10pm, ABC) - The mole investigation leads to a surprising finding. Meanwhile, Fitz wants Jake to keep safeguarding Olivia, and Mellie's actions force Cyrus to deal with crisis management.

Undocumented (2am, UNC-TV) - DVR Alert: An Independent Lens film on undocumented immigrants who died while crossing the border between Mexico and Arizona, featuring medical examiners who work to identify their remains and Border Patrol agents who balance law enforcement with saving lives.

Our "Dancing with the Stars" correspondent Lenni G has thoughts on the latest dancer sent home from the show.

Lenni G:In what had to be one of the most inspirational results shows ever, DWTS featured an interview with Adrianne Haslet, the young dancer who lost her foot and part of her leg in the Boston Marathon bombing. After hearing her speak and seeing the progress she has made already, I'm just as convinced as she is that she will dance again. Heartfelt thanks to all at DWTS and ABC for their involvement in Adrianne's journey back to the ballroom.

On to the results -

Couples declared safe were Kellie and Derek, Zendaya and Val, Aly and Mark, Sean and Peta, and Jacoby and Karina, leaving Ingo and Kym, and Andy and Sharna in the bottom two. After 6 weeks of really surprising saves, Andy and Sharna were finally eliminated. Have to give huge props to Andy for making us all believe that he has turned his life around thanks to this competition. Also have to give just as huge props to his partner, Sharna, who was always there for him.

Tune in next Monday for performances by the Top 6 couples.

Nature: Legendary White Stallions (8pm, UNC-TV) - The history of the Lipizzaner stallion is chronicled. Included in the story is their little known rescue by the U.S. Army in 1945.

Manhunt (8pm, HBO) - A two-hour documentary examining how the CIA successfully found Osama bin Laden after hunting him for nearly a decade. Features testimonials from CIA analysts, targeters and operatives who tracked Bin Laden for nearly two decades, turning years of careful intelligence into action on May 1, 2011.

Family Tools (8:30pm, ABC) - In the series premiere, a father takes ill and his prodigal screw-up son returns home to take over the family fix-it business. What do I think? It's pretty silly. Read my full review of "Family Tools."

The Americans (10pm, FX) - In the first season finale, Philip and Elizabeth are ordered to attend a potentially dangerous meeting, while Stan closes in on them.

Secrets of the Dead: Bugging Hitler's Soldiers (10pm, UNC-TV) - The thoughts and opinions of German POWs during World War II are revealed in this installment, which relies on transcripts from an MI19 (British military intelligence) bugging operation that secretly recorded the conversations of 4000 German prisoners.

Chicago Fire (10pm, NBC) - A former paramedic candidate accuses Severide of sexual misconduct, and Det. Voight returns to collect on a favor that Dawson owes him.

ABC's newest sitcom "Family Tools" left me speechless. Mouth agape and speechless.

And not for any good reasons.

The show has a strong enough cast -- Kyle Bornheimer, J.K. Simmons and Leah Remini -- but it's so …. well, the word "silly" comes to mind. A lot.

The premise: Tony (Simmons) owns a handyman company but is forced to pass the reigns over to his son Jack (Bornheimer) after having a series of mild coronary episodes. Jack returns home from seminary school (he's tried a lot of jobs, failed at all of them) and moves in with his grumpy father, sassy aunt (Remini) and weird cousin while he tries to run the family business.

At work, he has to deal with a wildly insubordinate employee (Edi Gathegi) who can't be fired because he's a family friend.

I think "Family Tools" is trying hard to be wacky or edgy, but it's just … silly (there's that word again!). Some of the situations in the pilot -- like locking paramedics out of the house until Tony, who is having a heart attack, promises to stop working -- just drove me crazy. (And there were lots of moments like that in the pilot.)

In the show's defense, I will say that it's often unfair to judge a series based on its pilot, and that's especially true with comedies. Sometimes shows get better. ABC did provide what appears to be Episode 4 in the series, and it was slightly better. Slightly.

And also, I really, really hated ABC's "Last Man Standing" and it's doing pretty well. So, for whatever that's worth …

"Family Tools" debuts Wednesday night at 8:30 on ABC.

Our "Dancing with the Stars" correspondent Lenni G has a recap of last night's show.

Lenni G: It was Latin night and our homey, Kellie Pickler, was one red hot dancer. Her samba with Derek was, as Len said, a mix of "booty, bounce and bongos." Bruno called it the perfect balance of technique and performance. Not sure what Carrie Ann was talking about when she said, "You are perfection in everything you do, BUT I didn't feel you had any emotional connection to the music." WHAT? I disagree and so did Len and Bruno. Judges scores - 9 from Carrie Ann (BOO!), 10's from Len and Bruno (YES!) for a total of 29.

Jacoby and Karina went first with a high energy salsa. Len said it looked great and really "shook the place up." Bruno announced that, "The fiesta has begun." Carrie Ann told him that this dance style is so natural for him that he could "fart the salsa." Oh my! Dios mio!! Now there's a comment I never would have expected - still trying to get that visual out of my head. Judges scores - 9's from all three for a total of 27.

Ingo and Kym's rumba was, as Bruno put it, "neither fluid nor smooth" as a rumba should be. Carrie Ann said she liked his form but he was lacking in fluidity and sensuality. Have to agree with Len that he gave it his best shot, but just didn't deliver. NOTE: Please see my review of the "Dance Off" portion of the show which became Ingo's "rumba redemption moment." Judges scores - 7's from Carrie Ann and Bruno, 8 from Len for a total of 22.

The rumba from Andy and Sharna was, as usual for this couple, fun and entertaining. However, as Len pointed out, it was more "erratic than erotic." Bruno said he tried hard but he was just "doing the steps and not flowing through the dance." I agree with Carrie Ann that, unfortunately, technique is totally missing in Andy's dancing. Judges scores - 5 from Carrie Ann, 6's from Len and Bruno for a total of 17. Ouch!

Aly and Mark's salsa got us back on track with a terrific routine under less than ideal circumstances. Mark hurt his neck and back in rehearsal and there was some fear that he would not be able to perform. That meant that Aly had to practice with both Mark and possible sub, Henry. As it turned out, Mark was able to dance, though he was clearly in pain. Not to worry, Mark - Aly had your back (pun intended) and put on her best performance of the season. Bruno called it, "Tutti Fruitti Delicious," Carrie Ann told her she nailed it, and Len loved her exuberance. Judges scores - 10's from Carrie Ann and Bruno, 9 from Len for a total of 29.

Next up, Sean and Peta with another dreaded rumba. As Peta pointed out, the rumba requires a feeling of sensuality and passion and it is clear that Sean feels none of that about Peta. So, Peta brings in Sean's fiancee, Catherine, to the rehearsal and has Catherine do the routine with Sean. Yep, Sean was one romantic guy with his girl. Good move, Peta. Carrie Ann said she was very impressed and liked the chemistry between Sean and Peta. Len, not as impressed, said, "Peta was hot, Sean was wooden." Bruno thought Sean was "much better." Judges scores - 8's from all three for a total of 24.

Final dance of the first round was a paso doble from Zendaya and Val. Len said he felt he was at the bullfight. Bruno told Zendaya that she, "looked like an angel and danced like a fury." Carrie Ann thought her lines were gorgeous BUT she needed more "depth," whatever that means. I thought the dancing was great but Zendaya's white dress was just wrong for a paso. Why not red or black? Judges scores - 9's from all three for a total of 27. On to the Dance Off round -

Based on the scores from the first round, the couple with the highest number of points was given "immunity" and declared safe for next week. So, since Kellie and Derek, and Aly and Mark were tied at 29, cumulative points for the season were used to break the tie. That meant Kellie and Derek were immune and safe.

OK, now for the Dance Off. Since Aly and Mark had the most points of the remaining dancers, they got to choose who they would dance off against. Aly and Mark chose Andy and Sharna who in turn got to choose the dance style of either cha cha, jive or rumba. Andy chose cha cha. So, Aly and Mark danced for 40 seconds, then Andy and Sharna danced for 40 seconds, and the judges picked the winner. Not surprisingly, Aly and Mark were chosen unanimously and got an additional 3 points for the night. ARE YOU STILL WITH ME PEOPLE? Going next, Zendaya and Val chose Jacoby and Karina as their opponents. Jacoby and Karina chose the jive as the dance. Once again, the judges were unanimous in choosing Zendaya and Val who also won 3 more points for the night. Last couples remaining, Ingo and Kym, and Sean and Peta, danced a rumba. Remember the "rumba redemption moment" I mentioned earlier? Well here it is, by a judges' vote of 2 to 1, Ingo and Kym were picked and won another three points.

Wow, that Dance Off Round was exhausting and I was just writing about it! Results tonight.