LOST recap 6.1 - LAX, part 1

 Our "Lost" junkie Luci Chavez reports on last night's final season premiere:

The wait was worth it. We know what the smoke monster REALLY is. But I can't bear, after the first hour of the Season 6 premiere, that I'm still so confused. I'm desperate to understand.

Lost is such a "have faith or else" experience. Very Catholic, that.  But I have faith. Faith is strong in this one. (Great. Now I sound like Yoda.)

SPOILER ALERT. Read on ...

Jack (Matthew Fox) is on an airplane. (I've seen this before). Oh it's because Jack is back on Oceanic 815 and headed to Los Angeles. There's the Aussie flight attendant giving him an extra shot because Foxy looks nervous. There's Jack meeting Rose. And Rose reassuring him (not the other way around). And there's some crazy turbulence. And Jack is sitting there like it's oddly familiar except it isn't.

Bernard comes back from the bathroom. Jack has to use the potty and when he gets back there's Desmond (Henry Ian Cusick). Have we met before? (Uh, yeah. A couple of times, Dr. Doofus.) No, brotha. (Yeah, that rings a bell. Doesn't it?)

Jack is getting a headache, the deja vu is so strong. But the final shot of the opening sequence gives me a headache. It's show like a splashdown, with the camera panning through water until it comes right up on the four-toed statue - under water. Is the island underwater?

There's that white flash again. We see the green eye opening. Yes, it is Kate (Evangeline Lilly) and she's hanging from a tree on the island. (Hold on, Freckles!) She gets down and her ears are ringing. She runs into Miles (Ken Leung), who for once has nothing funny to say. (Boo.) (Looks like it DIDN'T work for some people. Meaning the bomb, and the nuclear reboot.)

Kate runs into the Dharma station. Knows it's the Swan. Sees the hole. Miles thinks they're back to 1977. Kate corrects him. "No that's the Swan after Desmond blew it up." It's at least after 2005, probably 2007. Jack is nearby. He wakes up. (OMG. THERE ARE TWO WORLDS WORKING HERE - ONE WHERE THE BOMB DID REBOOT THE PAST, ONE WHERE IT DID NOT.) At least, Jack is alive in both places. (Do I care about anyone besides Foxy and Sayid? At this point, uh, no.)

But before Jack can swirl that in his mouth, Sawyer (Josh Holloway), bloody and distraught -  ti's the metrosexual look  of the island; it kinda works on a lot of levels) up and kicks Foxy in the head with his size 11s.!  "You were wrong!"' Jack's looking like he's about to cry,  "I'm sorry! I thought it would work." (Of course, you did. But stuff like this never works out for you, does it?)

Back on the plane, Sawyer gives Kate the "hey sugar" wink as the science teacher begs Hurley (Jorge Garcia) to do the Mr. Cluck commercial in an Australian accent. The science teacher wants to know "why chicken" Hugo says. "I won the lottery and I like chicken so I bought it. Nothing bad every happens to me. I'm the luckiest guy alive." Hugo's life HAS changed.

(Second indication the reboot worked for the people on the plane while leaving a bunch of sad sack doppelgangers on the island.)

Back on the island, we see Hurley and Sayid (Naveen Andrews), still shot, still bleeding from the gut and getting weaker. (Fight, Sayid. Fiiiiight!!! Can you tell I just saw "Abyss"?) Jack and Sawyer are still arguing about what did and didn't work when Kate hears a noise. Then she hears a muffled, "Help!" Holy resurrection, Batman, Juliet is alive! Sawyer jumps into the pit. Rescue mission!

But Sayid is still spitting blood and Hurley is about to hurl. Come on, Dr. Feelgood - island surgery! Sayid spits out, "When I die, what do you think will happen?" Oh my. the Muslim is wondering about hell. He has killed and tortured a few people. (But with such panache, my friend!) He's thinking it won't end well. (Yeah, could be.) So Sayid is floating in and out when Hurley hears a bump in the night and, who would emerge from the super creepy jungle? Hello, Jacob.

Back on the plane, Rose and Bernard are being lovey-dovey. Sun (Yunjin Kim) is watching and Jin (Daneil Dae Kim) gets pissy because Sun is enjoying it. "Button your sweater." (I already miss island-evolved Jin. Why you gotta be so nasty?)

So remember, the island reboot meant people are starting over from where we knew them first. Jack, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Desmond, Jin and Sun, Rose and Bernard. And Locke (Terry O'Quinn) and Boone (Ian Somerhalder).  

Old Locke asks Boone why he's there. he says he went to save Shannon. (But Shannon isn't on the plane. Remember that.) Locke talks about how he just came back from walkabout, killing things with knives, in Australia. Boone is impressed. "If this thing goes down, I'm sticking with you." (You did that once before and remember where that got you, Boone.)

Back on the island, our first return to the cave, Locke wipes off the bloody knife Ben (MIchael Emerson) used to kill Jacob. [NOTE: So remember Jacob had said New Locke had found the loophole, New Locke had Ben kill Jacob and New Locke is The Man in Black. He's not REALLY Locke.) Ben is watching and definitely has a "WTH did I just do" look on his face. Ben is freaking out. Why didn't Jacob fight back? New Locke tells Ben to fetch Richard. (For a second here, I nearly felt sorry for Ben.)

Outside the statue on the beach, Sun and Frank are talking. Ben comes out. Frank tells Sun the folks they're with - Ilana and those punks off the other boat - "say they're the good guys." They both look at each other like, "No freakin' way." Ben comes out and lies to Richard (Nestor Carbonell). Jacob's fine. Come on in. New Locke wants to chat. Richard ain't having it. He tosses Ben to the ground near where Old Locke's dead body has fallen out of the coffin. Ben, again, is like WTF and freaking out. (Three Lockes, people. Three.)

Back at the Swan, Sawyer is still pulling stuff off of Juliet. (I would just like to note that Jack is doing most of the work but he's decided NOT to go help Sayid at this moment. If Sayid dies ...) Jin goes to check on Sayid in the van. Jacob is still talking to Hurley. He tells Hurley Jin can't see him "because I died an hour ago."

Whew. Of course. Hurley sees more dead people than Miles. "I was killed by an old friend who grew tired of my company." (Yeah, New Locke who's actually the Man in Black!) But Jacob wants Hurley to save Sayid by taking him to the temple. "Jin knows. Tell him to take you to the hole in the wall where he was with the French team." And bring the guitar case. But as Sayid is dying, Miles, jack, Kate and Sawyer are all working to save Juliet. Sawyer is losing his head and growling at Jack, "If she dies, I'll kill him."

Ruh, roh.

Back on the plane, the fight attendant is looking for a doctor to help someone locked in the bathroom. Sayid shows up and kicks the door down. (He's on the plane! Thank you!!! By the way, where is Clare? Where is Shannon.) And who do we find? CHAAAARRRRLIIIIIIIEEEEE! (First tears, 9:37 p.m. We missed you! We missed you so much!)

Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) overdosed in the airplane bathroom. Jack and Sayid are trying to save him. Jack keeps sticking his fingers down Charlie's throat and I'm thinking no one gave Foxy a wet nap before he started doing that. Jack finally reaches in and pulls out that baggie of heroin Charlie had brought on the plane to get him through the flight. Way to go, Merry. "Am I alive?"

Back on the island, they've pulled the big steel beam away and Sawyer is able to crawl into the hole. Juliet opens her eyes. "Where are we?" "Don't worry, you're fine." "Is it over?" "No, we're still on the island." "It's OK. I hit the bomb." "Why?" "I wanted you to be able to go so you'd never come to this island." (How heroic of you, Juliet.) "It didn't work." "Don't worry, you'll be OK. I'll get you out of here. We're going to go home."

Jack is trying to tend to Sayid,, but predicts doom and gloom because Sayid is bleeding too quickly. Hurley tells them what Jacob said. And in yet another emasculating moment for Jack, Hurley asks, "Can you fix Sayid, Jack?" "No." "Then let me do it." Oh Foxy.

Back on the beach, Ilana asks what happened and Ben tells her in his creepy Ben voice to go find out. So Ben, Richard and the Big Dude go into the cave. New Locke tries to tell them they can go now; Jacob's dead. You don't have to protect him anymore.  Big Dude shoots New Locke and New Locke just evaporates. The bullet falls to the ground.

ENTER the Smoke Monster, taking dudes down. But in a strange twist, it leaves Ben alone. Ben is hiding behind a pillar. (Punk.) The Big Dude draws a strange gray sand circle around himself and he's briefly protected until something falls on his head and he falls out of the stupid gray sand circle. Not protected anymore. Bam. Down and out.

Ben creeps out of his hiding place and guess who appears out of nowhere? New Locke. New Locke IS the Smoke Monster. Well, bust my buttons. That's definitely a horse of a different color.

Back at the blown-up hatch, Juliet's talking gibberish. Something about going dutch on a cup of coffee? "Kiss me, James." There you go. "You got it, Blondie." Nice save, James. Juliet is trying to tell James one last important thing but dies before she can spit it out. Of course, she dies without spitting it out. Why the hell would she be able to spit it out? This is TV, people.

Sawyer picks her up and carries her out and eyeballs Jack, "You did this." (OK, Sawyer, technically it was Daniel's plan. Why you gotta hate?) Foxy has the good sense to look guilty.

Back on the plane, Charlie eyeballs Jack and says, "This should never have happened.  I was supposed to die." Well, yeah, Desmond said that back in the day and you did. Two realities? Eventually the same results? Is that what the Hobbit is hinting at? (No hate, brotha. Love you, Dom. Seriously, I do.)

The plane is landing and we get a shot of everyone. Jack looks out the window. Rose tells him to buckle up. Sayid is staring at a picture of Nadia. Jin gazes at Sun's daddy's watch. Boone, Kate, the fed. Kate watches the police board the plane and gets tense but they're there for Charlie. Charlie gives Jack the ojo malo on his way out. Everyone rushes out. Locke stays. Locke gets off on a wheelchair.

So we're knee deep already in finding out what would have happened had the plane not crashed. It's the only bit of the possible story we haven't seen. It's clear these people are connected with or without the crash. Deep, Lindelcuse. Deeeeeep, like ocean deep. Nice.

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You can read Part 2 here.