'Lost' finale recap: The Incident 2

Finale week is great and awful. Last year, I was in such shock I sat for a good 10 minutes going, "What just happened?" This year, I was screaming. Can you tell I'm going to miss the show? I'm catching re-runs of the early seasons on the Sci-Fi Channel. I just saw the one where Jin beats the stuffing out of Michael over the watch, Charlie finds his guitar, and Jack moves half the Losties to the caves.

Part 2 of The Incident. MORE SPOILERS AHEAD. (Why am I warning you? You haven't watched yet? You call yourself a fan?)

ISLAND 2007
Locke and his gang arrive at the four-toed statue, where Jacob rests his head at night.

ISLAND 1977
Jack confronts Kate. Sawyer refuses to get pushed around. Sawyer demands five minutes to chat with Jack. Jack says fine and the two hottest men on the show walk into the jungle together. Kate and Juliet are just standing there. Come on!!!! CATFIGHT! Pleeeeease!!!!!

THE WORLD, PRE-2004
Jack's performing his first big surgery and has mistakenly cut someone's dural sac. (Wait, this is the story he told Kate on the beach the day they crashed, the same story she had to repeat to him when he was operating on Ben and trying to save her. Continuity points = 50). Daddy Shepherd is observing. Jack is panicking.

Christian is telling his over-achieving son not to panic. To close his eyes for five seconds then re-focus. Jack does and it would have been a gentle father-son moment but Foxy is so hacked off when he comes out of surgery. And the candy bar won't come out of the machine! Ugh. Bad day. (This was not part of the version Jack told Kate.) "You embarassed me. It was bad enough then you put me in a timeout. Dad, I know you don't believe in me but I need them to." "Are you sure it's me who doesn't believe in you?" Dr. Cry Now Smile Later walks away to find Jacob handing him the candy bar that wouldn't come out, touching him in the process.

ISLAND 1977
Sawyer tells Jack how his folks died when he was eight after the incident with the con man. Sawyer heard it all, hiding under his bed. Sawyer's point? That happened a year ago, 1976. It's 1977. If he wanted he could have stayed on the sub and gone home and stopped anyone from dying. Why didn't you, Jack asks. "Because what's done is done." (That's Sawyer repeating the B.S. he was told years ago.) Jack insists it doesn't have to be like that. "Why Jack? What did you screw up so bad it makes you want to set off a nuke to fix?" And wouldn't you know it, for the first time ever, the alpha males talk about their feelings for Kate. "I had her. I had her and I lost her." Sawyer repeats what Kate had said, if you fix this, you'll be strangers and Kate will be in handcuffs. "If it's meant to be, it'll happen."

And I'm thinking Jack means, if he and Kate or Sawyer and Kate are meant to meet, that will happen. Sawyer asks if there's anything he can say to change Jack's mind about the bomb before he coldcocks him, once, twice, three times to the face! For the welterweight championship of the crazy island! (That was so good.) Jack fights back and puts Sawyer on the ground. Sawyer retaliates with a foot to the groin and a branch to the face! Ouch! Sawyer chokes Foxy until Juliet yells at him to stop. Juliet tells Sawyer she's changed her mind. She wants to help Jack. (Your girl sided with the hot doctor! I'd call the ass-whupping you just doled out a Pyrrhic victory, my friend.)

THE WORLD, A LONG TIME AGO
Two girls sit on a couch listening as their parents tell them they'll be getting a divorce. "Just because people love each other, doesn't mean they're supposed to be together." (Oh this has to be Juliet's flashback.) Sure enough, the blond one is Juliet. "When you're a grownup, you'll understand, Juliet."

ISLAND 1977
Sawyer doesn't have anything to say. He's not going to help Jack. He seems OK to have gotten the fight with Jack out of his system. He's more concerned about knowing why his Shorty changed her mind and Juliet cuts Sawyer down. "I saw you look at her." "I'm with you." "You would stay forever if I let you. That's why I'll always love you. I had you for a little while ... " (Here it comes ...) "Just because you're in love with something doesn't mean you're supposed to be together." Sawyer, to his credit, is hurting. Why Jules? Why would you want Jack to make it so we never meet? "If we never meet, then I'll never have to lose you."

Back at the Swan, Dr. Pierre is trying to convince Radzinsky to stop the drilling. Phil finally warns Radz that Jack and Sayid are en route. Phil calls for reinforcements. Jack and Kate are lurking in the bushes. Foxy is bleeding from the head. Kate's wiping the blood off and Jack's trying hard not to show he's loving every second. "Remember when I sewed you up that first day?" (I do. Foxy was crying. You were squeamish. Very raw. Incredibly important S1 moment.) Jack says it feels like a million years ago. Jack asks why Kate made him promise not to ask about Aaron. "I was so angry at you for making me come back. ... I came back so Aaron could be where he belongs." Jack assures Kate he's never done anything that felt so right. "I need you to believe that." Jack's smiling at Kate and I swear they'd still be making out now if the alarms on the drill didn't go off. "Are you with me?" Yes. Sheena and Foxy go off to save the world!

The WORLD, POST-2004
Hurley is being released from jail. Being Hurley, he's trying to convince them to keep him inside. They don't. Hurley jumps into a cab. He ends up sharing with the dude who's already in there. Oh, looky there, it's Jacob. With a guitar case. (You've got to be kidding me. That dude gets around. He's like Richard Alpert. Wait a second, he's like Richard Alpert! Is there a whole crew of incredibly attractive, non-aging dudes running on and off the island deciding the fate of the world?)

Jacob tells Hugo he's been waiting for him. "Oh you must be dead." I'm not dead. I want to know why you won't go back to the island? "Because I'm cursed." (No! Hurley, you're the best, dude!) "That's why the plane crashed and all my friends died. And Libby and Charlie, now they visit me and I can't make it stop." What if you're not cursed? What if you're blessed? You can talk to the people you lost. That seems like a great thing. "Except the part where I'm crazy." I have news for you, you're not crazy, Jacob says before dropping info at the Ajira flight. Jacob tells Hurley to get on if he wants to. It's his choice. Jacob gets out, leaving the guitar case behind. (What's in the freakin' case? Maybe not ranch dressing as I'd previously suggested.)

ISLAND 1977
Back at the van near the Swan, Hurley assures everyone everything will be all right once Jack changes "the future or the past. Uh, one of those." Jack and Kate come back for the bomb. Sayid, still bleeding and getting weaker by the minute, has rigged it to explode on impact. (Because even as he possibly lies dying, Sayid is AWESOME like that!) "If this works," Jack says, "It'll save you." "I can't be saved." Jack takes the bomb and turns to look at everyone, wanting desperately to send Kate off with a proper smooch. Kate, you wanted it, too. I can tell. (You deny, Whack Job 1 and 2?) Jack runs past Juliet and Sawyer, "Ill see you in L.A." And God help me, Sawyer starts tearing up. (Sawyer, you just beat Jack up. What gives, softy?)

ISLAND 2007
Locke and Richard are ready to go to Jacob. Let's go Ben. Richard starts getting all huffy, like, why is Ben coming? Only one freak at a time to see Jacob. Locke calls B.S. on yet another random Richard Alpert island rule. "If that' s a problem, Jacob and I will work it out." Ben has the gall to look scared as they walk into the cave/temple/whatever. "Can you do this, Ben? Things will change when he's gone," Locke says handing Ben his big boar-killing knife.

ISLAND 1977
Miles makes a good point while they wait near the van. "Has it ocurred to any of you that we might cause the thing we're trying to prevent. Maybe the nuke is the incident? Maybe the best thing to do is nothing?" Good point, Miles but no one is really listening to you. They see Phil arrive at the Swan with reinforcements. What do you think Blondie? Sawyer asks Juliet. "Live together, die alone?" Nah, it's going to be the Skate/Jate Army going to help Jack get into the Swan.

Chaos has erupted there as Jack goes into stealth mode. Phil sees him anyway and starts shooting. (Who gave that fool a gun in the first place?) Jack's in trouble. He shoots down one guy, but here comes the Dharma van. Juliet takes down one guy, then another. Juliet is covering Jack. (Check out the sharpshooter? Has she shot anyone before now?) Sawyer coldcocks Radzinsky and puts a gun to Phil's head. (Not much retaliation for how he beat Juliet, by the way. Kinda weak.) Dr. Chang tries to turn off the drill but it won't stop. Jack has to drop the bomb in the hole. He hesitates, looking at Kate. She's crying, nodding yes. He sees Juliet and she's smiling. He drops it in and they're all crying. i'm crying, waiting, thinking the big boom is seconds away ... tick ... tock .... wait a second ... where's the boom?

They're all still standing there and we're all still crying when Sawyer says, "This doesn't look like LAX." Then the drill starts smoking and anything metal starts getting sucked into the hole. The magnetism is so strong, everything is crumbling and getting sucked into the hole. Dr. Chang's hand is getting crushed. (Remember Hurley telling Miles about Luke Skywalker losing his hand?) Miles rushes to save his dad. Radz tries to drive away and the magnet takes the jeep. Phil is about to shoot Sawyer but the tower starts to crumble and steel rods are flying everywhere. One stabs Phil right through the heart. SECURITY GEEK DOWN! SECURITY GEEK DOWN!

Then before I can drop any more hate on Juliet, chains whip around her and she gets sucked into the hole. They're around her waist when Sawyer grabs ahold of her. "Hold on." "I can't." "I got you." "I can't." "I got you." "Don't leave me!" "It's OK." "I love you!" "I love you!" Sawyer's crying. I'm crying again. I never thought I'd cry over Juliet's demise!

ISLAND 2007
Sun is sitting on the beach with Richard, wanting a drink — they must be pondering things deep in their hearts — when Alana and her crew arrive with the box. Which one is Ricardo? It's Richard. What lies in the shadow of the statue? (Did Richard just answer in Latin? "Ille qui nos omnes servabit," or " He who will protect us all.”) Alana says Jacob sent her to show you what's in the box. They dump it out and it's a body. (The camera is panning around, slowly, slowly, slowly, then all of a sudden .... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Locke's body! I don't understand. Locke is dead and alive? Is the alive Locke really Locke?)

We don't have time to figure it out because Locke and Ben find Jacob in the temple. "You found your loophole?" (Wait, that's what Jacob told salt-and-pepper dude on the beach. He's talking to Ben. Ben wasn't supposed to come back.) Jacob tells Ben, more or less, that it's Ben's choice to kill or not kill him no matter what Locke said to him. Thus commenceth the best Ben soliloquy of the season, "Oh so now all this time you've decided to stop ignoring me. I was on this island for 35 years and all I ever heard was your name over and over. Richard bringing me all your instructions. All those slips of paper and lists. I never questioned anything. ... When I dared to ask you to see you, I was told, you have to wait. You have to be patient. But when [Locke] askes, he gets marched straight up here like he was Moses. Why him? What's so wrong with me? What about me?" Jacob, 100 times stone-colder than Ben will ever be, responds, "What about you?" (Ice, ice, baby!) So Ben stabs Jacob, and I don't blame him, and Locke kicks him into the fire. Wow.

ISLAND 1977
Back at the Swan, Jack comes to. Sawyer's still clutching at the metal of the tower. Jack and Kate peel him away as the tower is threatening to crush him. Juliet has fallen hundreds of feet below. Except she's not dead. She comes to and screams. Damn it! She sees the bomb. (You gotta set it off, girl. Come on. I promise to never say a harsh word about you again if you just ... ) Jules picks up a rock and starts wailing away on the bomb. Come on! Come on! Come on! Come on! Big flash of light ... apocalypse now.

DENOUMENT
Dear Lord, help me. This show is moving so fast it may take six months to figure it all out. The four-toed statue. Everyone's motivation to change the future. Who Jacob is . How Sawyer ends up making Juliet doubt their relationship, then wins it back. What happened to Rose, Bernard and Vincent. And how everyone was chosen by Jacob to come to the island.

It's 3:30 in the morning (when I finished writing, 5:30 p.m. Thursday when I finished the new post) and I can't even begin to think what answers we still need. Help me readers! You're my only hope!