How I Met Your Mother recap: Stripper doppelganger

Talk about value. Monday night's episode of How I Met Your Mother didn't provide viewers with just one boring blind date for Ted. As an added bonus, we got to sit through Ted's boring blind date twice.

More importantly, though, Barney and Marshall discover a Russian stripper who could pass for Lily's twin, assuming that Lily's twin was also kin to Barbara Mandrell, judging by the dancer's permalicious 'do.

Let's get Ted's blind date(s) out of the way first. Midway through his date, earnest Ted realizes that he took the same woman out on a blind date seven years earlier, at the same restaurant. The only difference is that 2002 Ted sported a goatee and an untucked, flannel shirt, while 2009 Ted wore a sports coat.

Once Ted and his two-time blind date figure out they've had this boring night before, they agree to play it out to see where it went wrong seven years earlier. Jen tells him that 2002 Ted came off as snobby when he pointed out a misspelled word on the menu. He also was a bit clueless, ignoring her comments about how chilly she was and not offering her his coat.

Meanwhile, Ted instructs her that it's a turnoff when women don't even pretend to go for the check when the bill comes. (That probably says more about
cheapskate Ted than his dates, though.) And Jen might want to tone down all the talk about how cute her three cats are, he advises her.

So they end up on the same apartment building rooftop seven years later, sharing the same kiss and speculating that they could have ended up married if the first date had gone a slightly different way. Then they remember that Ted blew it in 2002 by telling her he would call her again and failing to follow up.

A heart-to-heart talk about giving it another chance, followed by an immediate acceptance on both their parts that each of them should hold out for someone who doesn't just endure their quirks but appreciates them, and they split. Yawn.

While Ted is on this nonilluminating journey of personal discovery, Barney tricks Marshall into accompanying him on a guys' night trip to his favorite Manhattan strip club, the Lusty Leopard. Barney ensures that neither Lily nor Robin want to join them on a double-date by pitching it as a visit to the annual "Origins of Chewbacca" exhibit for Star Wars nerds.

When Barney reveals their true destination, Marshall struggles with his disappointment that their night won't end with him buying an English-to-Wookie dictionary. Barney's pleas for him to loosen up go unheeded until stripper Lily takes the stage.

Barney's excited about the opportunity to see "Lily" naked, excited enough to interrupt Ted's date with a call to assure Ted he will bring home some cellphone pictures. Marshall's excited because stripper Lily may allow him, for the first time, some guilt-free fantasies about another woman.

Marshall confesses to an unsympathetic Barney that the only way he can typically fantasize about another woman is by first imagining that Lily has passed away. So before he can allow himself a stray thought about a busty UPS delivery woman, he has to imagine Lily giving him her blessing to move on after her death, after a long bout in the hospital from a tragic hiccup disorder.

Lily's not thrilled about Marshall's need to kill her off in his fantasies before indulging in his fantasy about plowing the busty delivery woman, but she's thrilled to hear that there's a stripper who looks just like her.

Robin is less thrilled, however, to hear that Barney still considers a trip to the Lusty Leopard an appropriate way to spend an evening, now that they're dating.

A double date to the Lusty Leopard ensues, surely at Lily's urging. Barney's efforts to convince Robin that the gentleman's club is not one of his regular haunts fall flat as he gets the same treatment that Norm used to get at Cheers.
(Maybe a little better than Norm's treatment, since I don't think Sam Malone had Norm's favorite dancer stretching in the VIP suite awaiting Norm's arrival.)

Robin might enjoy her Scotch and regular trips to the firing range, but she's not OK with date night at a strip club, no matter how many times Barney insists it's wonderful to share the Lusty Leopard experience with her.

While Robin casts disapproving stares, Lily is requesting the VIP suite for her and Marshal and her twin.

Fortunately for Marshal, Ted was not there to kill the mood by pointing out any misspelled words or grammatical errors on the club's signs.