How I Met Your Mother recap: Robin 101

When you're floundering in the early stages of a romantic relationship, how cool would it be if your partner had an emotionally secure ex willing to share all the personal do's and don'ts to avoid fights and to keep your partner happy? OK, maybe that would be a bit creepy in the real world, but in sitcom land, that's Comedy 101.

So with Barney still struggling to adjust to his new boyfriend role with Robin on Monday's episode of "How I Met Your Mother," no one blinks when he turns to his pal Ted, who dated Robin for a year or so, for a class on dating her. The "no one blinks" goes especially for Robin, who fixes her ex- and current boyfriend with her patented wide-eyed stare of anger after she discovers Barney's secret Robin notebook.

It starts innocently enough, with Ted telling Barney that he overheard Robin confiding in Lily that she wonders if Barney's even capable of maintaining a relationship. Little things like catching Barney trying to sneak out her fire escape in the middle of the night before she reminds him that he's not in OneNightStandville anymore, or the realization that his idea of comforting her after a tough day at work is to retreat downstairs to MacLaren's and wait for her to summon him back for sex after she talks it out with Lily, leave her doubtful.

Ted tells Barney he needs to be more attentive to where she is emotionally. Barney's immediate response is to say that would be great, only he prefers to keep his man parts attached to his body, "rather than rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse." But even Barney realizes changes have to be made, so he takes Ted up on his offer on a secret night class on how to be a good boyfriend to Robin.

Ted resorts to every teacher-troubled student cliche offered up by Hollywood to inspire an unenthusiastic Barney — his teachers once told him he had "AD...something" — to embrace learning instead of cartoon boobs.

There was the "Stand and Deliver," "I've got to find a way to reach this kid" vow by Ted, and the Mr. Miyagi-style confrontation to prove that you can indeed master karate via the "wax-on, wax-off" car polish technique.

(Or in Barney's case, a series of Powerpoint presentations will drill in your head that the six words that Robin yearns to hear from her emotionally distant father are, "Robin, I'm proud of you, eh.")

Finally, there is the "O Captain, My Captain" tribute from Dead Poets Society, with Barney standing on his chair a la a young, doughy Ethan Hawke.

The breakfasts in bed, the flowers in her apartment, and the sketchy claims that Barney's working late in the office lead Robin to the inevitable conclusion that he's cheating on her. The natural solution is to break open Barney's briefcase with a sledgehammer, despite Lily's protestations that Robin doesn't want to be that crazy, stalker "rhymes with witch".

(Lily also lets slip in the conversation that Robin is the occasional star in some confusing dreams that remind her that a woman's sexuality is a moving target. I suppose they're saving that storyline for sweeps week.)

Unable at first to decipher Barney's scribblings about a woman who's 29 but tells people she's 26 and who loves the Vancouver Canucks, Robin and Lily figure it out after Marshall unwittingly asks them what they're doing with Barney's Robin notebook.

In Marshall's defense, he was distracted by the lack of interest in his beloved barrel/nightstand. Poor guy left "Mabel" on the curb, hoping someone eager to give his barrel a good home would scoop her up, but the only attention it got was from a hipster whose dog needed somewhere to relieve itself.

For Robin, it's bad enough that Ted is coaching Barney up on how to distract her from an argument by bringing up the Canucks' 2004 division title, proper gun cleaning or emperor penguins, or that he mistakenly believes that her left knee is one of her erogenous zones. But to allow Shin-Shin the English-challenged exchange student to audit Robin 101, well that's just wrong.

After arriving unexpectedly at the class, with Lily and a sheepish Marshall in tow, Robin tells Barney it's not worth keeping the relationship if he thinks he needs a crib sheet on what makes her tick.

Ted chases after Robin to apologize for sharing the intimate details of her cover-hogging tendencies in bed and other quirks. He gets off the best line of the night when he compares the time spent in a relationship to taking a long academic course on that person.

"And when you break up, all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree," Ted says.

Thank God, he didn't say a political science degree, or I would have to go all Robin and fling a shoe.

The conversation softens Robin up a bit, so when she spots Barney on the steps outside her apartment, she accepts his apology and his confession that he took Ted's class because he was so scared she was going to dump him.

That draws a faint smile and a shake of the head from Robin, who calls Barney an idiot. At that point he knows he's safe, because as Professor Ted taught him, "You're an idiot," is Robin-speak for "I love you."

Class dismissed.