Glee: Destination Horror

After a thoroughly satisfying episode in which a few old wounds were healed and a few fresh new ones were opened, "destination horror" refers both to the world of hurt in store for Will Schuester once Sue Sylvester returns tanned and rested from her Boca exile, and also to our pain at having to wait till April for a new episode of "Glee."

Everything seemed to happen last night: Finn found out that he's not the father of Quinn's baby; New Directions was double-crossed at Sectionals yet somehow managed to perform -- on the fly -- better than ever; Will left his devious wife Terri; and finally, Will and Emma acknowledged their love for each other and ended the show in each other's arms.

As much as I craved seeing Finn finally learn the truth about Quinn and Puck (I never bought that juvenile argument that Finn should suffer just because he was better for Quinn and her baby), and as happy as I was that New Directions won Sectionals and that Will and Emma finally got together, the most heart-stopping moment of the show for me came when Sue Sylvester got her punishment for attempting to sabotage the glee club.

Will smirked as Principal Figgins raked Sue over the coals and she shouted "I beg your pardon!" in response to his accusations, but I couldn't help but dread (and look forward to!) the wrath of Sue. Sue is pure, delicious evil, and I love her. Who else, when accused of besmirching the name of William McKinley (High School), would scream in response, "A failed president!"

So yes, Sue is no longer coach of the Cheerios and is also suspended from the school. And though she's taking her break to "brown up" and recharge at her condo in Boca, I can't help but imagine her instead inside of a Sue-shaped volcano in the middle of the ocean, pacing in her tracksuit and plotting her revenge.

Her showdown with Will in the hallway after her dismissal was chilling. She congratulates him on winning the first round, then promises him she will return from Boca "even more hellbent on his destruction."

"Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Schuester. You are about to board the Sue Sylvester Express. Destination: Horror!"

Will, stupidly, seems unafraid. "You know you just woke a sleeping giant," she tells him. "Prepare to be crushed."

Oh Will. Sue was only playing with you before. Bringing down glee club was just a little hobby for her, but now it's personal. You better think about getting Brittany to start your car for you.

My other favorite moment of the show was watching the Sectionals judges debate the merits of the competing teams. It was absolute brilliance to have the clubs working so hard and agonizing over every number, only to end up with three judges who really couldn't give a rat's ass about any of it. The fifth runner up in the Miss Ohio beauty pageant was priceless: "OK. I'm just gonna come out and say it. This is a singing competition. I don't know how those deaf kids got in. They weren't singing, they were like, honking, and everyone was crying and I was like, 'Get off the stage, you're terrible and you're making me super uncomfortable.'"

We also got Ron Remington, co-anchor of WOHN and Ohio legend (and former Sue Sylvester paramour), but my favorite had to be the Ohio Vice Comptroller, who had "no idea what the hell" she was doing here. The grumpy state worker said she had never been so bored, and had not even heard the term "show choir" till about three hours prior, when her boss called her and told her he had tickets to NASCAR and she had to fill in "at this fool event." She also resented the nature of the Jane Addams School's rendition of "You're Gonna Love Me:" "I'll be damned if I didn't apportion hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars to that school, so they could parade their behinds around like a bunch
of hoochie-hos!"

So yes, New Directions won because they were the group a grouchy Vice Comptroller for the state of Ohio hated the least.

Other Great moments:

-Mercedes singing "You're Gonna Love Me" from 'Dreamgirls.' Nailed it.

-Sue to Will, after he promises to expose her as a fraud: "Bring it on, William. I am reasonably confident that you will be adding 'revenge' to the long list of things you're no good at. Right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't make you look like a lesbian. Love ya like a sista."

-Will telling upset Finn that "you can't always get what you want" and then having Finn use that Rolling Stones song to help win Sectionals.

-Rachel absolutely killing it on "Don't Rain on My Parade," a Barbra Streisand number from "Funny Girl." Yes, Rachel, we totally see that you've been practicing that number since you were 4.

-Eve (guest starring as Jane Addams School glee club coach) asking Emma what happened to the "white guy with the Jheri curl?"

-Sue smugly denying her guilt after every bit of evidence is hurled at her from Figgins: "You have no proof." "I didn't do it." "Circumstantial evidence." "Forgeries!"

-Didn't care for that last number the kids did for Will, after showing him the Sectionals trophy, but liked how it ended with Will kissing Emma.