Dancing with the Stars: Who needs a "check-up from the neck up?"

Once again, the Happiness bloggers elected (begged) my mom to be our Dancing with the Stars correspondent. After each show, she calls me with her report...

It was a crazy night. Tom Delay danced with two broken feet, Donny Osmond kissed a man, Aaron Carter dressed like a girl, and Len got into a fight with Bruno.

Keep reading for my my mom's recap of the dances -- the good, the bad, and the ugly -- and find out who she thinks should go home this week. 

"Mark Dacascos and Lacey did the Rumba. He wasn't bad but the judges didn't like it. I thought he was pretty good but they didn't, and he scored an 18.

"Joanna Krupa and Derek did the Samba. She was shaking and twisting again. Her footwork was bad, but she was shaking, so she got a 23.

"Mya and Dmitri did the Rumba. It was very, very good. Len and Bruno argued about it, though. I don't think Len was as gung-ho as Bruno about their dance. Len was talking and Bruno interrupted Len, and Len wanted him to shut up. Len told Bruno he needed "a check-up from neck up." Bruno and Carrie Ann both gave Mya 10s, and Len gave her a 7. He said there was too much going on, that it should have been simpler. But I think he was mad at Bruno when he gave the score. If he hadn't argued with Bruno, he'd have probably given her a 9 or a 10. But she ended up with a 27.

"Melissa Joan Hart and Mark did the Samba. She was not bad. Actually, she was pretty good. He was really good and I was watching him more than I was watching her, but they got a 19. She still doesn't have a lot of confidence and she's kind of scared, and it shows. Mark didn't seem especially happy with their score.

"Louie Vito and Cheslea did the Rumba. Len thought it was 'wild.' They have good chemistry because they're both young, and I think they both think the other's cute. He's not a great dancer, but he did pretty well. They got a 20. He still has a ways to go.

"Debi Mazar and Maks did the Samba. They were okay. She didn't talk as much during rehearsal -- Maks told her she needed to quit talking all the time, so she is doing better with that. She made some mistakes, and they were just okay. Maks acted very distant with her. I don't know whether he's mad with her or if he thinks she didn't do well or what. I have decided I think Maks can be a jerk when he wants to be. They got a 17.

"Donny Osmond and Kym did the Rumba. He did well. But Bruno made some comment about him being feminine (Hello, Pot? This is Kettle...) so Donny ran over there and kissed Bruno. They were carrying on and everybody was a little shocked and Donny said he couldn't go back to Utah, and someone said they should all go to Bora Bora. That was kind of awkward, but it was all in fun and they were laughing. He got 21.

"Michael Irvin and Anna did the Samba. When they first came out there and started, I thought, 'Oh, this is gonna be good,' and the minute the thought popped in my mind, it went downhill and was just BAD. They got a 14.

"Natalie Coughlin and Alec did the Rumba. It's supposed to be a really sexy dance but she couldn't look him in the eye. Every time his face would get close to her face, her face would turn red. The closer he got, the redder her face would get. She got so embarrassed so Alec had his wife Edyta go in there and illustrate how Natalie was supposed to look him in the eye and be really sexy and everything. Edyta told Natalie she had her permission to be sexy with her husband. So they got out there to do the Rumba and it was so good. All the judges loved them and there were no negative comments. They got a 26.

"Chuck Liddell and Anna did the Samba. He's a fighter, but he's not a dancer. It was entertaining and kind of funny, but it was not good. He got a 17.

"Aaron Carter and Karina did the Rumba and it was supposed to be sexy, but he came out wearing this weird outfit. It looked like a short woman's robe. It was light blue silk or nylon with blue satin trim, and it was tied in front like a robe. It was a sight." Did he have on pants? "Yes, but it was a sight. I could not get my mind off a woman's robe while looking at it. It was like a negligee robe. It took the sexiness right out of that dance. He didn't do as well as he has done before, and he messed up a few times. Len thought his arms were jerky and that he was nervous. He got a 21.

"Tom Delay and Cheryl did the Samba. They were not sure if he was even going to dance. At first he had a stress fracture in his right foot, now he's got one in his left foot too." (I'm sure there's a political joke I could make there, but I won't.) "So he had stress fractures in both feet and the doctors and producers told him to drop out of the show, but he won't quit. He said he's going to keep going. He got out there and was actually pretty good, but it was really low key and simple, and they judged him on that a lot. His dance had a lower degree of difficulty. People need to not vote for him so he can go home and let his feet heel. He got a 15. It wasn't the bottom score but it was pretty bad.

"Kelly Osborne and Louis did the Samba. She did a lot better than last week but she's still not where she was the first week. They told her that she needs to have more confidence in herself. She got a 20, which is not bad. She had a few mistakes but she didn't giggle like she did last week every time she made a mistake. This week she kept going through the mistakes and it was a lot better.

So, who will go home?

"I think ... I hope Tom goes home so his feet can heal. I wouldn't be surprised if Debi Mazar went, though. I'm gonna say the bottom three will be Michael Irvin, Chuck Liddell, Tom Delay, and Debi Mazar. Wait, that's four. Chuck has a pretty good following and Debi was in the bottom three last week, so I think it'll be Debi, Tom and Michael. Those three I don't like, even if they could dance. I'm just not crazy about them. Chuck can't dance but he's very likable."