One of the most-addictive things about the so-bad-it's-great "Celebrity Apprentice" is that the gaggle of crazy folk that Donald Trump has put together this season never cease to surprise.
For example, you would think that the biggest, beefiest, most formerly "juiced" player on the team (that would be you, Jose Canseco) might actually help in moving heavy equipment around. (Nope, not when there's a couch or camping chair nearby for the former baseball player to lounge in.)
You would guess that the absolute worst camper sales person in the world would be spacey LaToya Jackson. (But actually, the CEO of Camping World would like to put LaToya on the payroll. Hmmm, maybe the nation's unemployment problem isn't that bad after all?)
And you would think that someone whose teammates and Trump and the Trump spawn all agree is "a class act" would not be fired. (No, actually you probably would think that. Because "Celebrity Apprentice" and "class act" usually aren't used in the same sentence.)
Yes, poor Niki Taylor, above, the friendly model who refused to throw any of her teammates under the bus, is sent packing. Trump made sure we knew he respects Niki. But when you won't act like a lunatic and get in a cat fight with your teammates for charity, well, clearly you're not Trump material.
Luckily, there are plenty of nut jobs who are. Most notably, Gary Busey. (Or as Trump refers to him: "a @$!*%@ piece of work." You think Trump knows this show is televised?)
Busey, with Meat Loaf at right, is the project manager for the men's team in a task to set up a display of campers and camping equipment for Camping World. Old Crazy Gary does just about everything wrong, from picking unnecessary fights with Lil Jon and Meat Loaf to getting repeatedly distracted by a pair of walkie-talkies to spending most of the day relaxing with Jose instead of, you know, working. So it's a miracle when Busey's team actually wins.
(Or, it's a reflection on just how bad the women's camping display was. Sorry, Niki, but a bunch of yellow, green, black and blue balloons can't really simulate the great outdoors like actual trees can! Also not helping matters: the incredibly passive-aggressive Star Jones, any project manager's worst nightmare, and Dionne Warwick, who plays sweet in front of Trump, then calls her teammate a "hussy" when he's not around.)
Our other favorite parts of the episode:
--learning from both NeNe Leakes and Lil Jon that black people don't know anything about camping. (I dunno. My wife just watched Oprah and Gayle's great camping adventure.)
--John Rich getting his back up when Richard Hatch dared to question the intelligence of country music fans.
--John's guitar ode to Camping World. (What a surprise that the unlikely trio of John, Lil Jon and Meat Loaf are the best players of the season.)
--Dionne's pokiness while getting supplies at the Camping World store, left. (Heck, I think she may even be faster at running a cash register.)
--Mark McGrath and Richard arguing over whose "tree guy" to use to decorate their faux campsite. (You may ask yourself how Mark and Richard both have tree guys in the middle of New York City?)
--Mark documenting Gary's poor work ethic with his smartphone camera.
--Niki's repeated confusion between the 20th century, the 21st century and which (if either) of them we're living in now.
--Dionne and LaToya arguing that it made more sense to decorate a campsite with items from Bed, Bath and Beyond than from The Home Depot.
--Gary telling Trump how Marlee Matlin changed his life by helping him get a hearing aid. Apparently, for years even Gary didn't know how crazy he had been sounding.
That Gary! What a @$!*%@ piece of work.