Oh no she didn't!
Yes she did. That heifer Lydia called our girl Jordan a ho, a puppet ho at that.
But that's not the craziest thing that happened last night. Forty plus days in the house and crazy was running rampant.
Crazy part 1: The Chima situation. Allison Grodner, my new hero. She's the BB executive producer who officially gave Chima the boot. She did have help; Chima had very much checked out, saying she was 'defeated.' Why did she feel that way? She felt that she had been nothing but kind to Michele during the game and yet Michele put her up for eviction, instead of Russell. (For her part, Michele said she liked Chima as a person (?) but felt her friendship was not worth half a million dollars. That's that Ph.D logic.) Chima also said that the whole week was about laughing at her: ha! ha! Look at Chima, she thinks she's running things, but she's not. Not the whole week, Chima, just when you were especially annoying.
Chima said she wanted to go home and didn't want to give the others (Jeff, Jordan, Russell and Michele) the satisfaction of voting her out. And so, she proceeded to curse repeatedly, and refused to wear her microphone, punctuating that with throwing her mike in the pool and breaking it. Apparently, this wasn't really new behavior; Jordan called her a diva and said she was constantly breaking the rules. That observation was followed by images of Chima ignoring calls to the diary room, obstructing the cameras and vowing to go on air (last week's live Thursday) with a rant that would have the 'FCC on CBS's ass.'
So Allison called the brat in the diary room, told her there was no need to sit down, and escorted her sorry, whiny, spoiled butt out the door. And America was safe again.
Perhaps, in a few weeks, Chima will come back to her senses, think about how she behaved and slap herself silly. But probably not.
Crazy part 2: The response to the Chima situation. After the others are informed about Chima's departure, Lydia offers to pack up Chima's things. While she, Kevin and Natalie do so, Natalie goes off, saying that Michele brought her to this point because Michele befriended her this week and then betrayed her. And then, the show took her HOH power away. (That's enough to break anyone!) Natalie is still wearing Jessie's 'Mr. Pec-tacular' shirt, as she speaks. Natalie insists she could have reasoned with Chima.
To their credit, Lydia and Kevin talk her off the ledge. Kevin tells her not to get up with the same thinking that made Chima crazy. Lydia tells her to focus on getting revenge.
Questions: Wasn't Lydia on the block with Russell, put up by Chima? Didn't Natalie and Chima hate Lydia? Didn't Lydia hate Natalie, indeed, consider Natalie her nemesis? Wasn't Lydia made at Kevin?
Crazy part 3: Lydia doesn't win HOH. Michele announces that her HOH duties are over (in only 2 days) because of Chima's departure, and Natalie is no longer up for eviction. (Michele takes it well; after all, Chima is gone.) Now they will all have a chance to compete to be HOH. To win it, they have to play a miniature golf game, low score wins. Each round the high score gets eliminated and can pick a gift, including the HOH key. But the loser of the next round has the option of taking the last loser's gift or keeping the one they chose.
Lydia gets eliminated in the first round; she picks and ends up with the HOH key. Everyone knows she won't keep it.
Long story short, it comes down to Jeff and Jordan. Jeff gallantly throws the last game, giving Jordan the chance to be HOH, which she really wants because she wants a letter. She takes the key from Lydia, and Lydia ends up with having to wear superhero costume for the week.
That's when Lydia calls Jordan a ho, a puppet ho. Jeff tells her to watch what she calls people.
Later, a still angry and quite drunk Lydia pours out Michele's beer in revenge and then throws out her sushi. She demands that she be evicted instead of Natalie, or she will wreak havoc on the house. Lydia ends up in the diary room crying, wishing she could talk to Ronnie, Chima and Jessie.
Hopefully, after the show is over, Lydia will come to her senses, think back at her actions and slap herself silly. But probably not.
Not crazy: Jordan's HOH room features a letter from her mom that makes her cry. She breaks down when she reads that her grandparents tape the show on Sunday nights. She learns that the family is moving, so now she doesn't have to share a room with her mom, as she has been for two years. She wants to win the money to buy a new house. Her mom cautions her not to use any dirty words on TV.
The whole thing makes Jeff happy.
Not as crazy: Lydia accessorizes her Captain Unitard outfit with purple hair.
Completely sane: Jordan puts Lydia and Natalie up for eviction, aiming at Natalie in particular. Natalie vows to win the POV; she says she can smell the money.
That must be making her crazy too.
Assistant Features Editor Adrienne Johnson Martin would like to have her life turned into an animated cartoon.