"Big Brother": Charlotte, Matthews, what's the dif?

It's a new season of "Big Brother" and the Chen-Bot is back with baby in utero.

Although, you'd barely notice when you first see our host Julie Chen, from the front, clad in all black. It's not just that she's hasn't picked up a lot of weight. It's that you probably were distracted by her dress, which is asymmetrical, shoulder-bearing, ruffled, dolman-sleeved, tiered, and has crystal buttons down the side. All at the same time.

Luckily she makes note of her expectant state in the intro.

Julie introduces video of the contestants getting their house keys. In the first group is our NC girl Jordan who goes all Daisy Mae, wearing a plaid tube shirt and a super-short jeans skirt.

Other highlights: Ronnie, the geek who gets extremely emotional, when he receives his key. And Laura, who says 'this sweet bee-otch is going to get exactly what she wants.'

We also get to see them pack. Braden packs his lucky green briefs from Cozumel and a stuffed blue elephant. Kevin, as he packs, says he's 'blackanese'-- black and Asian -- and hopes he can meet someone at the house who is black and a little ghetto. That comment is paired with Chima, who is black, (or an "exotic beauty" as the CBS web site describes her), and says she hates when people think blacks are ghetto. Lydia says she'll hook up with a boy or a girl if that's what it takes to win.

Let's take a step back and get a quick set up of all the houseguests, shall we?

Braden: surfer, complete with the whole 'Dude!' vibe.

Casey: 40-year-old teacher by day; DJ by night. Former member of a rap group. Probably not as cool as the thinks.

Chima: a freelance journalist

Jeff: ad sales rep with a Chicago accent

Kevin: effeminate graphic designer

Laura: bikini model who is not as pretty as she thinks. teeth count.

Lydia: lots of tattoos

Michele: neuroscientist.

Natalie: Tae Kwon Do champ. Described as a feisty Latino on the CBS web site.

Ronnie: Geek. Loves video games.

Russell: Mixed martial artist who also sells commercial real estate.

The houseguests get to enter the house. Kevin thinks he can relate to Ronnie because he can speak "geekanese." He's going to have to get a lot better with the wordplay if he wants the coveted quippy gay guy role.

Braden describes one room as 'superdeluxious.' Teacher Casey describes Braden as 'Spicoli.'

All inside, the houseguests break out the champagne and get to know each other. Kevin, naturally, goes first. Lydia thinks he's lovable. Russell says he will have to learn to like Ronnie. Apparently Ronnie's not guy enough. Casey notes that Chima likes to laugh (hard) at her own jokes. Michele shares that she works at a lab, but says she just cleans it. She doesn't want them to know she has a Ph.D and thus may be a threat. Because this is a show about intellectual pursuit.

Natalie tells everyone she's only 18 even though she's 24. She wants them to underestimate her and she thinks her poker playing skills can help her deceive them. Apparently, Kevin plays too, because he calls her on it, and says (to the camera) she looks 25.

Laura introduces herself and Kevin asks if they can get to her boobs. He suggests, to the camera, that the thought of them makes him throw up a little in his mouth.

Chima thinks Jeff is hot; our girl Jordan thinks he's 'Days of Our Lives' cute.

Jordan introduces herself and disses Matthews, NC by saying she's from Charlotte. In the long run, Matthews, that might be for the best.

Jeff talks about being 40, as though that's akin to being 80. Michele says Russell looks intimidating. To prove her point, Russell then says he wants to put the rest of the contestants on their asses.

After the commercial, Julie ... wait is that a lapel on her dress? It is. The dress is like a coat sideways. A sideways coat with ruffles on the side, crystal buttons, tiers, and dolman sleeves. Wow.

Julie lets the houseguests know that they will be playing the game as part of a familiar high school clique, but that they will still be nominated and evicted individually.

The good news is that if a member of the clique is made head of household (HOH), the whole clique is safe.

The cliques are athletes, offbeat, brains and popular. Lydia says she hopes Kevin is in her group because she'd be Andie to his Duckie.

While others don't like the high school clique theme, Braden says those were the best years of his life. Ronnie knows he's on the brains team because he's the smartest one in the room. After all, he's on a nationally ranked debate team. Michele wonders how she'll hide her Ph.D status.

Before the commercial, we see the 4 possible 13th housemates in silhouette.

When we return, the gang has changed clothes. Julie sends them to anther room to find out their cliques.

The athletes are: Jeff, Russell and Natalie, who plays down her tae kwon do skills.

Offbeat: Casey, Lydia and Kevin.

Popular: Our girl Jordan ("I'm not the smartest person," she says), Braden and Laura

Brains: Michele, Ronnie and Chima, who wants us to know she was smart AND popular.

Time for the first HOH competiton. The room is set up like a locker room; the houseguests have to step into a large pair of underwear and grab a toilet seat. They are playing the Wedgie, a game that will suspend them in the air by the big drawers while they have to hold onto the toilet seat. The first to let go gets eliminated. The person who holds on the longest is the HOH.

Well, actually that's not true. Julie tells them none of them will be the HOH.

Instead, one of the mystery guests gets that role. And they are revealed.

They are the Cowboy from Season 5, who was one vote from winning the money; Jessica from Season 8, who believes she lost because she fell for 'America's player'; Brian from Season 10 who was the first to be eliminated, he says, because he went 'so hard, so fast'; and Jessie from Season 10 who wants us to know that he's added 20 LBs of muscle and an inch to his 'guns' but doesn't believe his ego got in the way of winning and yet he can't stop flexing.

Each of them gets assigned a clique; whether they get on the show is based on which of the houseguests in their clique lasts in the game.

Julie tells the housemates about the mystery guests and they are lifted in the air.

It's uncomfortable. Ronnie fears that it will be detrimental to his future ability to create children. Casey thinks the women have an advantage; Ronnie says all his muscle gives him dead weight.

Ph.D Michele is the first to go. Ronnie is next; he blames sweat.

There's a twist: the potential housemates are allowed to recommend a 30-second per teammate super wedgie to a team of their choice. The popular teams gets 30 seconds; the offbeats, another 30; the athletes, 60. The brains aka Chima gets zero.

The super wedgie begins. Lydia drops out. Jordan drops out. Kevin drops out. Jeff drops out.

Time for another super wedgie. The athletes get a minute, 30 seconds; the brains get 30 seconds; the other teams, zero.

Chima can't take it; she drops out and that means potential roommate Brian is first out again.

Casey drops out next. Bye bye cowboy.

It's Braden and Laura of the popular clique vs. Natalie and Russell of the athletes clique.

Laura lets go. She's not really tired, she just doesn't want a target on her back.

Braden is on his own, so Natalie taunts him. Russell doesn't like her attitude. Braden finally lets go. The athletes win.

And muscle-bound Jessie is the 13th houseguest and the HOH. Is there enough room in the house for both Jessie and Russell's testosterone?

We'll see what happens Sunday.