So maybe I wasn't sold previously on the '30 Rock' strategy of cramming in celebrity cameos at every available opportunity. But then the critically acclaimed sitcom that dozens of people watch nationwide never offered Salma Hayek as a Puerto Rican nurse before Thursday night.
I'm in now.
The set-up couldn't be flimsier: Salma is the new nurse Elisa for Jack Donaghy's mother, who is still recuperating in her son's apartment after he backed his car over her earlier this season. Long before sultry Salma changes out of her baggy pink scrubs into a cleavage-revealing red dress, we know that she'll trigger some romantic stirrings in the Sheinhardt Universal VP for Television and Microwave Oven Programming.
It may have been the dress — it had to be the dress — or the strictly professional, below-the-waist grab she gives him to allay his fears over a benign gonad cyst.
With Elisa helping Jack duck his mother's spongebath demands, he's free to help Tracy Jordan negotiate a belated pre-nuptial agreement with his disgruntled wife Angie. A master negotiator, Jack attempts to persuade Angie to sign an agreement that would give her $8,500 if Tracy ever runs away with some unnamed "chunky chick" or any female of equivalent thickness.
Tracy is so moved by his wife's pledge that she never plans on leaving him — "I'm gonna watch you die, Tracy Jordan." — that he stops her from signing the prenup and begins consummating their rekindled love in all sorts of public places. (Poor Kenneth the intern can only cringe and turn his back in fear as the makeup session continues on his desk.)
Liz Lemon tries to save herself some embarrassment after mistaking Stuart, the diminutive official from the United Nations High Commission on Water Temperature (and Food Taint), for a little boy. So she tries to convince him that she only tousled his hair as a way to flirt with him on the street, and the dating disaster ensues.
[Cameo alert: the role of Stuart is played by actor Peter Dinklage, who you may remember from the underrated 2003 movie, "The Station Agent.")
Liz can't hide her maternal instincts around little Stuart, hovering over him to protect him from getting burned by the vendor cart's hot grill and reminding him to be careful crossing the street. So even though Stuart is intrigued by her "aggressive woman with a nerdy vibe" appeal, he calls it quits, gives her another chance and then leaves her on the Brooklyn Bridge when she mistakes a little boy for him.
Back in the office, Jenna can empathize with the havoc Liz's biological clock is creating for her. While Liz is going baby crazy, Jenna confesses she keeps getting turned on by car wrecks (???). Jenna can't be distracted by babies, however, because she's obsessed with scoring the lead in Sheinhardt Universal's Janis Joplin bio-pic project.
Never mind that Sheinhardt Universal hasn't secured the rights to Joplin's music or her story from the deceased singer's estate. Even when distracted by the curvy appeal of nurse Elisa, Jack is savvy enough to write his own lyrics to Joplin's hits for Jenna to break out on TV.
"Take another little chunk of my lung, now mister," indeed.