American Idol day one: The moldy closet approach works

Welcome Amber Wynn, our first AI blogger.

Amber is 24, a recent graduate of Campbell University with a degree in Education. She's a native of Currituck, but has lived in Raleigh for the past 4 or 5 years. She's active in a choir and has done musical theater.

When applying for this gig she wrote: "I'm desperately seeking something to spice up the plain palate of my day that consists of going to work, going home to watch TV and then going to bed because there's nothing better to do." Uh, Amber, you've just described our lives.

Welcome aboard. Here's Amber's take on the first night:

Season Eight of American Idol kicked off last night in Phoenix, Arizona with a mass of hopefuls - some with dreams (and some with delusions) of grandeur. With new judge Kara DioGuardi the judging table is even louder than usual because, apparently, Simon and Paula needed someone else to try to shout over when screaming at each other.

The auditions in Phoenix were host to many colorful contenders. There was a pink cowgirl, a girl with pink hair and a girl in a pink bikini. J.B. Ahfua was the first gentleman of the evening to take home a golden ticket and, J.B., if you don't go on to win American Idol then I will certainly employ you to serenade me all day long. And I'm not the only one who was swooning when he sang, I saw Paula liquify, too - which, really isn't all that surprising, is it? Some gals are just suckers for men who can sing.

One not-so-lucky fellow was Michael Gurr. While he didn't get a ticket he did get a banana after he auditioned and got sick. Because. It. Was. Scary. Bad. But, if all else fails he could probably get a role in young Cody Sheldon's homemade horror movies. As a monster. Or Zombie. Or something equally as terrifying. Cody, however, did advance on to Hollywood and duely deserved as he is quite talented.

Simon informed auditioner Stevie Wright (named after Stevie Nicks) that she needed to be more selfish when she came to the next round in Hollywood. She could probably take lessons from Emily Wynne-Hughes, another gal with chops, who is leaving her all-girl rock and roll band to fend for themselves while she pursues a solo career, rendering them lead singerless and thus unable to go on a European tour. But, it's okay, because the way she sleeps at night is knowing that she can always fall back on them if things don't take off for her.

A few others that made the cut last night include bubbly and kind-hearted 16 year old Ariana Afsar who adopts old people as her friends but most importantly has a very surprising voice (in a good way). Scott Macintyre, a blind pianist is also moving on along with Deanna who reminds me of Fantasia in the way that her voice would actually be good if it weren't so annoying. Most importantly, Alex Wagner-Trugman, the boy who trained himself to sing in a moldy closet and skipped a Spanish test to audition, has made it to Hollywood. However, if you are thinking of training yourself in a closet, please take into consideration that the disadvantage to this is that you cannot see yourself when doing so resulting in a weird, bug-eyed face whilst singing.

And Ryan Seacrest almost fell into the Grand Canyon...almost...