I blame the mother.
But let's start at the beginning.
This is the leg that will determine the final 3 teams for the million dollar prize. Now in Moscow, the first move the teams need to make is by taxi to a retired nuclear submarine. Mother/son team Toni & Dallas leave first since they came in first. Frat boys Dan & Andrew are last.
The first three teams arrive at the submarine pretty much at the same time; the next stop is to take a taxi to an outside museum -- the graveyard of fallen idols.
As if the universe is embracing their pitifulness, the frat boys get splashed by water by a passing car as they try to get to the submarine. Then they end up at the wrong park.
Meanwhile, the graveyard is the site of a road block: one member of the team is supposed to scour the park, counting statues of Lenin & Stalin. They are then to take those numbers and put them together (6 & 2 so, 62) and bring it to an antique bookstore. They then tell the clerk the number; if the number is right she will give them a book. On page 62 of that book they will find a clue to the next destination, the resident of a famous Russian author.
It's not an overwhelming road block, but it obviously requires attention to detail, patience -- in other words, it's a mental task, not a physical one. Which is why IT WAS REALLY DUMB FOR TONI TO TELL DALLAS TO DO IT. Dallas knows this isn't the right task for him, he says as much. But his mother told him to do it, so he does without protest.
Toni knows this isn't the right task for him too. "I paid a lot for his education, but I don't think he knows who Stalin and Lenin are." Hold your ears, I'm about to start yelling.
OF COURSE, HE DOESN'T! I KNOW PART OF THE FUN OF HAVING KIDS IS GETTING THEM TO DO ALL THE STUFF YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO DO. HECK, MY SON'S BEEN RETRIEVING THE PHONE FOR ME SINCE HE COULD CRAWL. BUT DANG! YOU'RE IN A CONTEST! STRATEGY MATTERS! AND YOU HAVEN'T BEEN PULLING YOUR WEIGHT. DALLAS CAN'T DO EVERYTHING! I BLAME YOU FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS AFTER THIS POINT! AND I WON'T FORGIVE YOU, TONI! EVER!
Then, Toni gives Dallas all the money and their passports. All the teams eventually do this, but their exchange is edited in such a way it seems especially pronounced. Yep, this is foreshadowing.
Nick of tooclose brother/sister team Nick & Starr sails through the statue challenge. The two then head to the next stop by stealing Ken & Tina's cab, whose driver has GPS. At the next stop, they are to go to a park and meet a woman with a Shetland pony. Nick has to explain to Starr that a Shetland pony is not a hairstyle, as in a type of pony tail, but an actual horse-like animal. SEE, TONI, THIS IS A TEAM THAT CAN DISTINGUISH BRAIN FROM BRAWN!!
Dallas, indeed gets the count wrong, way wrong. He mixes up the order of the numbers, but even in reverse, he'd still be wrong. Each time he gets it wrong, he has to wait 10 minutes before he can guess again. Lucky for him, Tina comes along. She has a wrong number but she's much closer. In an act that is best described as humanitarian, she helps Dallas, and eventually gives him the right number.
Meanwhile, Dan catches up by getting help from a native at the statue park, and then, guessing accurately, when his first guess is wrong.
Still, Dallas gets into the cab and to the author's home before Dan. Except he leaves the bag with all their money and their passports in the cab. He comes to his LAZY mother, head down, and tells her the news. To her credit, she doesn't chatise him, just keeps moving forward. They'll have to beg for money.
Muscovites are some nice people. Toni & Dallas get money easily. Indeed, even with begging, they end up in a foot race with the frat boys for the pony clue. Alas, they didn't read the clue closely, which said they HAD to take a taxi to the park; they took the metro. So they have to go back and return by cab. More begging. Suddenly, they have turned into Andrew & Dan.
Meanwhile, the original frat boys get their speed bump, the task they must perform for coming in last, but not being eliminated last week. It involves doing a traditional dance. This seems a set up, because we know from last week that Dan can't move his arms and legs in any kind of synchronized way.
Luckily, it's a folk dance and not very precise, so while he still looks like a doofus, it works. He only has to do the dance twice before they earn the next clue.
The other teams are on to that clue, a detour: Ride the Rails or Ride the Lines. The rails involve using the Metro, going to a stop, getting a pastry with wrapping that has a clue, going back on the metro to another stop, where a babushka would give them a postcard that would be the clue to the next stop.
The lines involves riding a trolley to a key maker, taking a trolley again to a locker and in that locker finding the same postcard.
Nick & Starr take the metro; Nick's a New Yorker so the subway is second nature. They get to the clue, which takes them to the pit stop and they come in first. Again.
Ken & Tina, who are sniping a bit but holding it together, decide to take the trolley. But oops, they get on a regular bus, not a trolley, so they have to start over.
Andrew & Dan do better with the trolley. They catch up with Ken & Tina at the stop for the final clue before the pit stop, find the clue box and are heading for the mat. Ken & Tina see them and run after them to make it a foot race. Andrew & Dan actually come in second. Ken & Tina are sent back to find the clue that tells them to come to the mat or else they can't get officially checked in.
Meanwhile Toni & Dallas' begging continues to go well. They are plugging along. The editing leads you to believe that they are catching up, but in truth, after Ken & Tina finally find the box and check in for third place, Phil actually is not even standing on the mat any more when Toni & Dallas check in. They had even sent the "Welcome to Moscow" guy in native costume home.
Toni & Dallas are eliminated.
Dallas, good son, blames himself and says he's sorry he let his mom down. She says quickly that he didn't. More yelling here:
YOU GOT THAT RIGHT. YOU LET HIM DOWN! AND ME TOO!
Assistant Features Editor Adrienne Johnson Martin would like to have her life turned into an animated cartoon. 
