The report of a Bigfoot double-encounter by N.C. resident Tim Peeler has been getting lots of attention online. We at the Tech Junkie blog are disheartened by yet another opportunity to capture the creature was squandered by the Cleveland County man.
Our dedication to science has compelled us to explore the technology available that could aid in the capture of Sasquatch.
If you have not yet seen the clip then stop do yourself a favor and watch it right now.
We brainstormed on what would lure this creature from hiding.
One answer came to me as I gazed at Peeler's sketch.
We theorize that we can tap into what seems to be a genetic link to ZZ Top. We have plans to bait areas with a Guitar Hero gaming set up with a ZZ Top laden play list.
We are currently seeking donor units so we can set up a strategic perimeter in and around the area of Peeler's home.
One hurdle we face is that Internet availability in Cleveland County is not as prevalent as in more densely populated areas of N.C.. We have a couple of strategies that might actually spin this into an advantage.
The AT&T coverage map for the area reveals a large swath with no cellular coverage and zero 3G coverage for the area. With a well placed iPhone we are certain Sasquatch will roam into more urban areas seeking escape from AT&T dead zones.
Confusion over the proper way to hold the new device could possibly fluster Bigfoot into making a tactical error during its evasive maneuvering.
We are also waiting for a pair of Rambler sneakers in size 20. These auto-tweeting shoes are equipped with a step detecting sensor and a bluetooth chipset used to update Twitter with any walking activity.
We estimate that we need a pair in size 29.
Matthew Fortner has been at The News & Observer since 2002. He has a passion for gadgets, cutting-edge technology and all things geek.
Comments
Bigfoot
Tue, 01/03/2012 - 15:34 — YettieI seen that sonuva buck down to the Walmart yestiddy...had two young uns with him, big foots , big gut and a big butt, too, also. Sasqutach sportin' a mullet on top of it all. Have any of these BF hunters ever considered that the Uwharrie Nat'l Forest is used by the Spec. Forces? Surely they might be up for a little fun when Green and ilk make a big splash about their next foray into the woods for a "Squatch" adventure!