I was hoping this was an April Fool’s joke. It arrived in my email box on April 1:
April 1, 2009
To: Mike Zlotnicki
From: Holly Beal 757-943-0093; HollyB@peta.org
Re: Duck That! Hunters May Find Their Water Blinds Occupied This Fall
PETA Suggests That Hunters Take Up Golf or Baseball Instead of Killing Birds
PETA is warning Missouri duck hunters that another form of wildlife could take a bite out of them while they are trying to take a bite out of the state's waterfowl population. PETA is suggesting that hunters who use water blinds can save their own hides by taking up golf or baseball instead of killing birds. That's because permanent water blinds in Oregon, Howell, Carter, Pulaski, Phelps, Wayne, Pemiscot, Mississippi, Scott, and Stoddard counties are rumored to have been sprayed with the pheromones of female Western cottonmouths.
The Ozark and Southeastern regions of the state are home to the venomous snake, also known as Agkistrodon piscivorus leucostoma. The pheromones, which are evacuated from the cottonmouth's cloacal chamber, are guaranteed to attract aggressive male cottonmouths who are looking to mate. Cottonmouths breed year-round, and male snakes use their tongues to detect the pheromones of potential mates.
PETA spokesperson Hans Offdemall says, "PETA opposes gun violence, so when a 250-pound man hides in a blind so that he can blow to pieces one of a bonded pair of 2-pound birds, we think that he should get a taste of his own medicine."
For more information, please visit PETA.org.
I went to the PETA Web site hoping for to see the punch line. I was greeted by another update that suggested a cure for over-populating squirrels in Scotland: tiny squirrel underwear of the “tiny whitey” variety.
If you visit the site make sure you click on the information about Sea Kittens, a campaign to rename fish in order to make them less palatable.