The Marriage Amendment: Ashamed? There's the highway

A Sept. 14 letter-writer, not an N.C. native, who said she was ashamed to live in North Carolina in the wake of the votes to put a Marriage Amendment referendum on the May ballot touched a nerve. Read the letter here. Find letters in response -- and other Marriage Amendment letters -- here.

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Regarding the Sept. 14 letter “Ashamed to live here”: Since the letter-writer wasn’t born here, and is ashamed of this state, she might want to return home. If, however, “home” is one of the following 29 states, she might want to give this further thought: AL, AK, AZ, AR, CA, CO, FL, GA, KS, KY, ID, LO, MI, MS, MO, NE, NV, ND, OH, OK, OR, SC, SD, TN, TX, UT, VA and, lastly, that right-wing bastion, Wisconsin. These states have passed constitutional bans restricting marriage to one man and one woman.

The primary reason  these unions receive preferential treatment is because, in total, they produce the next generation of citizens. It really is as simple as that.
I’m not against the benefits of gay civil unions, but just don’t call it marriage.
Happy trails.

Dave Morse
Raleigh

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I am disgusted of  N & O letter writers being "ashamed to be in NC," being embarrassed by our state and such .  First of all I have no horse in this gay marriage amendment race, but these liberals whining and being ashamed to be from or in NC are a sad lot.

My comment to them is the same as I wrote in your paper some years back on all these transplants etc being ashamed of our state because they disagreed with old Jesse Helms.  My suggestion to them then, as now, is that I-85 and I-40 go west and north and south; take your pick and get out of NC.

Passionate discussion and protest are fine, but if you are ashamed of your state, go find another so none of my tax money supports any of your causes.

I found it really sad indeed when NC voted for Obama, but I am not ashamed of NC ( gee, how did that turn out ? )

Al Slaughter
Henderson

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In response to the writer who was "Ashamed to live here", please, no one is holding you here.

As a lifetime resident of North Carolina, same city, same neighborhood, yes, all 55 years, I stayed here for a reason. This is definitely my home. When I go to someone else's, I don't criticize and bash. That's how Southerners are raised.

Because I love this state, and still do even with all its wonderful aspects and negative faults, I stayed here. People have the right to vote however they feel. That's the beauty of this great state and nation. And that, my dear, is my opinion.

If you need assistance, mapquest is on the internet.

Linda Burton
Raleigh

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The writer of “Ashamed to live here” had to know that some redneck would happily invite her to follow her instincts to go back where she came from. Let me be the first.

It's not so much the issue that she's so huffed up about that bothers me as much as the tone of the letter. So very patronizing.

I can hardly tell you how grateful I am for her defense of this socially backward, intellectually impoverished, ethnocentric, racist religious zealot. However I must point out that even socially backward, intellectually impoverished, ethnocentric, racist religious zealots have feelings – and opinions, too. At least she and I both will be able to express our opinions at the ballot box on this one.

By the way, I understand 30 states already have constitutional amendments banning "gay marriage.. Surely the writer is not from one of those culturally backward states.

J.B.Coltrain
Jamesville
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It's too bad that the writer has had to spend much of the last 13 years that she has lived here defending our state to those she left behind. I think a good place for her to live would be back where she came from, which must have been the Garden of Eden.

Betty Sanders
Morrisville

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In reference to the letter “Ashamed to live here”: Since we are so ignorant here, I have some advice for the lady. I-95 runs north and south, and I-40 east and west. Please take one of these roads and ;eave our beautiful state! I and many more people here support what our new law makers are doing.

Arnold Weaver
Youngsville
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The events of this past week regarding the proposed constitutional amendment have made me ashamed to be a North Carolinian, for the first time in my life.

Moreover, the stance that many African-American churches have taken in support of this piece of hate has made me absolutely heartsick. Not only heartsick, but deeply saddened to see so much hate on full display.

The ultimate irony is that much of the same language used today to define marriage as an institution between a man and a woman was much of the same language used decades ago to define marriage as an institution between people of the same race.

Churches are supposed to teach love and compassion, not hate and bigotry. The leaders of these churches are in no way different from the racist bigots of 50 years ago.

Every person attending a church that supports this Amendment should look deep within their hearts to see if their church is a reflection of their own Christian beliefs. In much the same way, voters should look deep within themselves to see if their elected officials are acting in a manner that reflects their beliefs.

Amy Page Smith
Raleigh

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I echo the Sept. 15 letter “Ashamed to live here.” I too am ashamed to live in a state that so blatantly condones discrimination. I have two questions: (1) Why are our  “leaders “ spending time and tax dollars on an anti gay marriage campaign when there are REAL problems and issues facing all of us? And (2) Would someone – anyone! – please explain to me how a same-sex couple who gets married hurts anyone or anything?

Anne Thompson
Raleigh

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How can anyone with a brain – and a straight face – cite the Bible as justification for amending the state (or any other U. S.) constitution? Sharia law, anyone?

Fred Crouch
Raleigh

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Regarding the constitutional amendment limiting marriage to members of the opposite sex, I have this modest proposal. So that voters can know just who will be affected by this amendment, I propose that individuals who oppose it wear pink triangles between now and Election Day. In German concentration camps, an upside-down pink triangle was worn to identify homosexuals and other “deviants.” Today, a pink triangle worn right-side up is a symbol of gay pride. A pink triangle right-side up with a green circle around it symbolizes support for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered (LGBT) individuals to be protected against discriminatory laws such as this Constitutional amendment.

Charles Delmar
Durham

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The News & Observer ran an editorial Sept. 14 speaking of our state's "10.1 percent unemployment rate, a full point higher than the national rate." The editorial continued, "At this point...the public is ready for some positive, aggressive steps to help them."

In the face of these sober facts, Raleigh was visited this week by government leaders displaying two very different priorities. The Republican-led North Carolina legislature returned to Raleigh for three days solely to pass an anti-Gay Marriage Amendment referendum. This, despite 80 North Carolina business leaders who cautioned the amendment is bad for business.

Meanwhile, President Obama came to Apex and Raleigh to explain his job creation ideas.

Maybe this was just bad political timing by North Carolina’s Republican leadership. Nevertheless, this legislative leadership appears out of touch with North Carolina priorities.

John Gordon
Raleigh

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The people who are decimating education and human services who have given us the right to carry concealed handguns into parks and bars have taken aim against same-sex marriage.

What heartens me is the anger this decision has generated among straight allies. Twice since the bill passed, two colleagues have come to me to express rage and ask what they can do.

The answer is simple: Channel outrage, sway people opposed to civil rights and vote for fairness. If anger motivates action, this is the time to stoke the fire.

For the LGBT community, the silver lining is two-fold. Today’s young people support gay equality, and they are tomorrows leaders. On civil rights, the U.S. Constitution trumps state law. If people speak out, the Supreme Court will ultimately override anti-gay-marriage legislation in the same way it erased homo- and heterosexual anti-sodomy laws in 2003.

The situation is more bleak for the uninsured, for students and teachers whose dreams are evaporating and more than 2 million North Carolinians without enough food to eat. Their hope rests in our anger too.

Keith Hayes
Carrboro

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The Gay Marriage Ban Amendment proposal is surely a hot topic now. I am glad this issue came up during the 10th anniversary week of 9/11. It reminds me that all of the terrorists are not in the mountains of Afghanistan or the in deserts of Iran. They are right here in our North Carolina homes.

A small group of fundamentalists is trying to force a very conservative moral view on the rest of us. The N.C. legislature’s job is to ensure the proper functioning of the state. They should not be legislating morality.

I propose that we no longer label these folks “Christian fundamentalists.” They are now The American Taliban telling us how to live our lives.

Thomas Krickl
Selma

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The problem with the marriage amendment is that people still view the world as "us" vs. "them." Maybe is we viewed ourselves as more alike than different we could develop a greater understanding of both views. We are a community. Let's act like it!

Steve Leopard
Cary

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Equality reigns in New York, but bigotry, prejudice and discrimination reign in North Carolina. How embarrassing is that?

An enlightened and progressive North Carolina General Assembly would be trying to repeal the law that defines marriage as between a man and a woman. Instead it has wasted time and taxpayer money trying to amend the state constitution to ban marriage between two committed adults of the same sex. There are thousands of committed couples of the same sex in North Carolina who pay taxes like everyone else, many of whom have children but who cannot have the benefits of a legal marriage.

This nation was founded on the proposition that all men and women are created equal and should have equal rights, privileges and protection under the law. This applies to all people regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender or sexual orientation . Questionable and outdated religious ideology should not be used as the basis of legislative action, which seems to be the principle reason for the amendment.

Surely the people of North Carolina will vote overwhelmingly against this very discriminatory and unnecessary amendment. Let’s hope that the people will not condone the bigotry that the leaders of the General Assembly have displayed.

Isaac T. Littleton
Raleigh

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A Sept. 15 letter states the primary purpose of sex is procreation. If this is fact, than why are humans programmed to have sex when the female is not fertile?

Humans are programmed to engage in sexual activity for many reasons: an expression of love, simple pleasure, a desire to dominate, a desire to humiliate. These reasons can be attributed to members of either sex.

Fortunately for both sexes, love and shared pleasure usually dominate – more often than the desire to conceive a child. Why should same-sex couples be denied the right to live as a committed couple, sharing the same rights, pleasures and responsibilities as my husband and I, or a female/male couple unable to conceive, or uninterested in having a child?

And perhaps the writer could explain to me how the legalization of same-sex couples has threatened the “sanctity” of my marriage (48 years in November) or that of our daughters (19 and 15 years in October).

Linda Naylor
Durham