And the letters just keep coming. Here are more than 70 responses, from all over the country, to Tuesday's vote to amend North Carolina's constitution to define marriage. Some of these you will see in print:
Last week at a Leadership Triangle panel discussion, Patrick Wooden, shepherd of the flock at Upper Room Church of God and pictured on the front page May 9, vigorously supported the N.C. amendment. The issue, he said, is not about discrimination, as evidenced by the fact that there are no separate water fountains or bathrooms for gay people.
I would say, however, that discrimination also plays out in other ways. Has he never walked down the street, looking at each passer-by and wondering whether that person hated him or, worse yet, were about to attack or kill him? Does he not remember the name of Matthew Shepard and countless others? Does he not know that nearly 20 percent of hate crimes committed every year in this country are the result of sexual orientation bias?
As a man who appears to have a petrified heart, Wooden’s name fits him well.
Carol Brainard
Durham
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What a sad day for North Carolina. There was a time when amendments were rooted in humanity and dignity, like the 13th and 18th amendments to the U.S. Constitution. North Carolina law already does not allow gay marriage. So I guess North Carolina Amendment One’s purpose is to solidify that humanity and dignity are no longer a priority; instead, hatred, bigotry, fear, political gamesmanship and an uniformed public rule the day.
But take heart: We are Americans and North Carolinians. Amendment One is doomed once we decide to be rational and come to understand what being ethical really means.
Joe Beamon
Cary
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Unlike the writer of the May 9 letter “Not pretty,” I and the spoken majority of North Carolinians are proud to be residents of this state. Not surprisingly, all we hear is the negative rhetoric about the amendment. The liberals would have us believe we, the majority, should be ashamed of our beliefs while they, the minority, should be validated. It should be the other way around.
I’m willing to tolerate unions other than marriage (our newly minted definition), but certainly not to reward and encourage them through benefit programs. My children, ages 7 and 9, were shocked to learn that such unions even exist – but then that’s how they were raised. They will not be taught that other forms of cohabitation are acceptable.
This is not discrimination; it is the moral opinion of the majority. Get used to it. We are silent no more.
Gordon Strout
Cary
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Before it is finally repealed, Amendment One will go down in history as an infamous and shameful act of bigotry and cruelty. As a kid, raised Christian and growing up in Alabama in the 1950s and 1960s, I could not understand how other people (white people, many of whom professed to be devout Christians) could pass and enforce laws denying basic human dignity to black people because they were, “different,” “immoral,” “threatening to our way of life,” etc.
I assumed when I moved to more enlightened North Carolina as a young adult that that I was casting my lot with a state that was kinder and more open-minded. It is very sad to know that I was wrong. It is also sad to know that, once again, misguided religious dogma is a main cause of it.
Walter Bennett
Chapel Hill
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Estimates suggest the cost of bringing the almighty amendment to a vote exceeded $100 million when considering all of the advertising, legal, logistical and other expense associated with the cause. This sum will certainly grow as the appeal effort cranks up in full force this week.
Our state faces numerous problems that will negatively affect the lives of the next generation, such as high unemployment, an underfunded state university system and ever-growing childhood obesity rates.
While some are disappointed that the amendment passed, I am disappointed that we, as a state, decided this was an efficient use of time and money. We created a public lightening rod out of something that is a private matter, and in doing so, wasted yet another opportunity to address the problems that affect us most.
Joseph Cannon
Raleigh
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Although many of us found ourselves profoundly disappointed in our neighbors on a night that North Carolina chose again to write fear and hate into the pact guiding our state, I hope we will struggle onward with unwavering faith in democracy. Our most cherished value must be the freedom to make our own choices – even, as happened tonight, to turn our backs on God, and love, and justice.
Josh McIntyre
Raleigh
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I was appalled and grievously disheartened by the picture on the May 9 front page. Twenty-nine years and two weeks ago, we were burned out of our house by KKK types because we fought for African-American children to have access to an equal and effective education. One of the threatening letters we received said we were getting too familiar with “nigars” and if we didn’t stop “something will burn.” It did.
And now I see Rev. Patrick Wooden shake his fist in the air in a victory salute because North Carolina can now legally oppress a minority that does nobody harm.
How can this be, still, today?
I am a child of Croatian immigrants who had only third- and fourth-grade educations, and when I was in elementary school, I was taunted with sing-song epithets about being a “hunky” and a “wop” so I know the pain of discrimination and would never, ever inflict it on anyone else.
How can African-Americans not feel, not know the harm done to another when subjected to this pain of social separation?
The Constitution of the United States guarantees equality of all citizens without exception. That is without exception. Now ours does not. I believe humanity has just suffered another defeat. Jesus must weep.
Dr. Bill Palich
Louisburg
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The picture of Dr. Patrick Wooden Sr. May 9 made me wince. It looked as though he were celebrating (gloating, even) that hate and discrimination were to now be written into the N.C. constitution with the passing of Amendment One.
It is said that God created human beings in His own image. It is hard to believe that after the results of the vote to defend marriage May 8. I will never lose my faith in God and Jesus, and all the love, kindness and inclusion they represent, but I lost some faith in mankind after this primary season.
Tim Smith
Chapel Hill
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For those who voted for the marriage amendment based upon biblical teaching, know that you may worship the Lord, but you do not carry His Light, and may God have mercy on your souls.
Nancy Hardin
Durham
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For those who backed the marriage amendment, rejoice! It was so easy to be for the amendment – you were born heterosexual; you didn't have to do anything – and now it is in the state constitution that you are better than they are. You are a first-class citizen, allowed to enter into a domestic partnership through marriage. They are second-class.
So ends the great attack on the idea that “marriage is between one man and one woman.” No longer will your marriage be threatened by the state of North Carolina officially recognizing the relationship between two women holding hands, sitting in the living room of their home.
I am proposing an amendment to the amendment: Let’s not define marriage as “a union between only one man and one woman.” Let’s change it to “a lifetime union between only one man and one woman.” I'm betting that supporters of the amendment feel that divorce is less of a threat to their marriage than is a domestic partnership between those loving women.
Patrick Murphy
Durham
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Congratulations to the Christian right! Once again they ignored and even kicked sand into the face of their Lord and Savior. The life and message of Jesus Christ was love and compassion without judgment. Love God, love thy neighbor and do not judge. Oops. Too late. Your constitution now embraces fear, deceit and distrust of God's Unconditional Love.
Jesus went to the crucifixion rather than play politics. He still knows better. Christianity without love is a clanging gong.
H. L. Pierson
Atlantic Beach
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Surprise, surprise! Marriage in North Carolina will not be redefined! It will continue to be limited to any man and woman, regardless of their plans to have children, despite the fact they will probably be divorced in a few years, and with no concern for their religious beliefs.
Our gay and lesbian children will continue to live in a state that denies their equal rights to marry the person of their choice. Our same-gendered couples who have lived in committed relationships for years, many with biological or adopted children, will struggle in a society that treats them as sinners. But hey, it’s time to celebrate. Won’t God be so proud of us!
Bill Rodgers
Raleigh
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With respect to the new amendment to our state constitution, I will quote Thomas Jefferson: “All, too, will bear in mind this sacred principle, that though the will of the majority is in all cases to prevail, that will to be rightful must be reasonable; that the minority possess their equal rights, which equal law must protect, and to violate would be oppression.”
Cynthia Stammers
Raleigh
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In response to all of the opponents of the marriage amendment, including our president, God’s law, as stated in His book known as the Holy Bible, cannot be amended.
Eddie Bland
Wake Forest
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I have four children. Three are male and one is female. Three have hazel eyes, one has blue eyes. Three have brown hair, one has blonde hair. Three are straight, one is gay.
I never told my daughter that her rights are limited because she is female. I never told my son with blue eyes that his rights are limited due to the color of his eyes. I never told my son with blonde hair that his rights are limited because of the color of his hair. We teach our children that we are all created equal, that we all have rights, that there is justice.
Yet I have to tell my youngest son that when he falls in love he will not be able to get married even though his siblings are free to do so. This hurts me as a parent.
It is disturbing that we put the rights of a minority up to a majority vote. It was more disturbing to have to stand beside my son and watch the results of the vote. Tonight once again I cried with and for my son and all the children, adults and families who are hurt by this discriminatory and hateful amendment.
Jill Hinton
Raleigh
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I am really wondering why all of these females were writing in to the newspaper in support of (or opposed to) the marriage amendment – my religion and my own Holy Book says that they should not do or learn such things.
Can someone please help me to write an amendment to forbid such things from occurring in the future? I would like it on the ballot this fall – then I don’t need to worry about the fact that females can read and write diminishing my ability to do so. My Holy Book clearly teaches this – it must now be enforced on all others, lest my own rights be deprived.
Jay Miller
Raleigh
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Passage of Amendment One is the victory of the self-righteous by means of the tyranny of the majority. No change of a government’s constitution should ever be by a simple majority.
John Purifoy
Belhaven
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In celebrating the passage of the marriage amendment Tuesday night, Tami Fitzgerald, the Vote for Marriage chairwoman, stated that “marriage was not invented by government. Our creator established it as the union of a man and a woman in an exclusive lifelong covenant.” Perhaps she should ask Newt Gingrich, state House Speaker Tom Tillis’ former chief of staff and a certain female lobbyist what their idea of an “exclusive lifelong covenant” would be. And since, as she says, marriage was not invented by government, then why should any government care or decide who marries whom?
Leon Barber
Raleigh
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Even though I voted for passage of the marriage amendment, I am not actually celebrating a victory. When supporting a candidate or voting pro or con on any other referendum, the outcome is a reflection of the electorate as a whole, and history ultimately shows the wisdom or foolishness of the decision.
With the marriage amendment, the choice voters made was either for or against Almighty God. The line in the sand separating the two factions on this issue now has all the potential of becoming a chasm. Why does this disturb me? As a Christian, I believe all fall short of God’s glory but can be saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. All of us deserve his wrath but can be saved if we line up on his side. That is why I implore folks who openly reject God’s word to cross over before that hole gets too deep.
And one final thing: I detest the actions of any who would mirror an end-zone dance in thinking they have stuck it to the other side. We are instructed in Scripture to always give a reason for the hope that is within us with gentleness and meekness.
Robert Endersby
Raleigh
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I can almost hear the hallelujahs ringing out this Sunday in the churches throughout the state proclaiming “victory” in the fight to amend our constitution and enshrine in it discrimination against gays. And these people will call themselves good Christians and proclaim the glory of God. And a lot of them will be African-Americans celebrating successfully discriminating against another group of people. And it makes me sick.
At least we can take some small comfort in knowing that the majority of people in Wake, Durham, and Orange counties showed more compassion and adhered to that other passage from the Bible the proponents of the amendment ignored, “Love thy Neighbor.”
Dave Greune
Raleigh
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When, in the history of the world, has granting a minority their rights ever taken away rights from anyone else? The recent vote to pass this hateful, discriminatory marriage amendment is a shameful blot on North Carolina’s history – right up there with not allowing white people to marry black people (which was also part of the state constitution). But I’m proud to say that I know a lot of people who were willing to stand on the side of love and will fight to repeal this amendment. We won’t stop until all U.S. citizens are granted their rights and nothing less. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.
Jenn Hensley
Raleigh
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It is unfortunate that the politics of intolerance prevailed to pass the marriage amendment. As North Carolina’s communities have become more diverse, its citizens have become more intolerant. Yet diversity among people leads to diversity of ideas, and at its nexus innovation is born, new products are developed, and high-paying jobs are created.
Diversity, in all its forms, has made America great. It has enabled the United States to out-invent other countries. To keep that edge, we need a culture of tolerance, strong public education, affordable colleges and state-of-the-art infrastructure. By passing this amendment, we have informed those in civil unions they are not welcome here. For the sake of our economy, let’s hope they ignore that message and stay.
Mary McCluer
Raleigh
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It finally hit me how sad I feel about the marriage amendment passing. I am sad for my gay and lesbian friends who cannot get married, who will be stripped of rights they currently possess, who now have to carry this bigotry directed specifically at them. But those friends, those people who are not legally allowed to love each other, are some of the strongest, most spiritually enlightened, most loving people I know. They will be OK.
The people I am most sad for are the people who voted for this amendment to pass. All those whose hearts are so crowded with fear, so bound by bigotry, so inflamed with ignorance and arrogance that they cannot open them to all this love. They are the ones who don’t understand that love is love. Period. Love is love.
The only solution I have is to love more. When so many of us are hurting for love, we need to make more of it. So go home. Love your family as best you can, especially your children. Go to work. Open the door for someone. Smile at someone. Create love everywhere, especially where you can’t find any.
Ida Trisolini
Hillsborough
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“Charity should begin at home, but not stay there." (Phillip Brooks) When I think of charity, I think first of making allowance for differences and circumstances I have no knowledge of. Second of protecting the others dignity and ability to heal themselves and finally of what I can contribute that will help. If I apply that method to the Christian life, I protect myself against premature and unwarranted judgment and belittlement of others. At the same time I am able to offer help and hope.
Every condemnation in the Bible is balanced by God's mercy and forgiveness.
Every principle of morality with the reminder that judging belongs to God. So, I stand with those who believe that all people should have the same rights and privileges. I voted against defining marriage as being for only one man and one woman, because it cruelly denies protections and rights under the law that belong to all people
Mark Stephens
Raleigh
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Some time ago I lived in Chapel Hill for awhile. I loved my time there; I even got married in Chapel Hill and over the years I have vacationed in the Kitty Hawk area on several occasions. I am approaching retirement age and have considered moving to N.C., but not now after N.C. rejected the concept of a longstanding American ideal – equality. I won't even be driving through N.C. until the state legislature moves into the 21st century. I wonder how many gay couples living in N.C. now will be moving out of the state to flee institutionalized homophobia? I hate to say it, but I'm ashamed for the Tar Heel state.
Jay Wilkins
Columbus, OH
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Sixteen years ago my wife moved to North Carolina. We chose to move here because it was rated one of the best places in the country to live. This state was growing in commerce and culture. Especially with the Research Triangle Park, we thought of North Carolina as a place where higher education and culture were valued. But over the last few years it seems North Carolina voters have been deliberately trying to stop the flow of progress and turn the state into a place where no one wants to move.
First we have managed to break a model public school system by electing the puppets of a couple of rich guys to the school board. Then we voted in the protection of marriage amendment. I don't see how this amendment protects anybody's marriage. If two people of the same sex get married it has absolutely no effect on any straight couple's marriage. My wife and I have been married 21 years. I can't think of anything that would change in our relationship because of same sex marriages.
It seems to me that if folks really wanted to protect the institution, we would work harder on resolving poverty. We'd look at divorce and see what could be done to bring down its instance. These things hurt marriage and families much more than any imagined threat from gays. So, I'd like to thank all the folks who used their religious beliefs to justify their prejudice and intolerance. Maybe it's time for North Carolina to stop growing and show the rest of the country that this place is best for backwater hicks.
Greg Puertolas
Cary
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For the first time since moving here in 1999, I am ashamed to call myself a North Carolinian. The passage of Amendment One is nothing more than legislative bigotry that helps no one and harms many. I sincerely hope that it will soon be repealed by a more compassionate and forward-thinking generation.
Donald Vaughan
Raleigh
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In a recent post at my blog Oldmanonthestreet.com I offered the following challenge to Thom Tillis. Go to Fort Bragg and tell a gay soldier coming back from an Afghan deployment, sorry buddy, you are gay so despite the fact that you have risked your life for your country for a long time you are, in the eyes of the State of North Carolina, less than a full citizen. You are not eligible to enjoy the same privileges as people who are straight. I think this challenge should be extended to Billy Graham and his family, the Catholic Bishops and the whole Republican Party.
Robert Pickard
Raleigh
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Congratulations, North Carolina! By passing Amendment One, you have succeeded in taking a giant step back into eighteenth-century religious intolerance and ignorance. With puritanical diligence, you have managed to ignore one hundred years of Biblical scholarship in order to enshrine your prejudices and bigotry. Your grandchildren will be proud of the close-minded legacy you have left for them to deal with. Or not.
Donald N. Wood
Durham
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Way to go North Carolina ... way to turn back the clock! I will never spend another dime in your state, nor will my friends. This makes me sick! It's not just civil unions/ gay marriage. It's loss of prescription drug coverage, health care for children of domestic partners, etc., etc., etc. Just what are you trying to prove with this? Hateful bigotry at its finest!
Judy Letoile
Putnam, CT
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Tuesday’s vote to amend the North Carolina state constitution to bar same gender unions was shocking in its cruelty to gay teenagers and young couples. Voters have chosen to tell these young citizens that they are in a separate class and their relationships are unworthy of recognition. As a pediatrician, parent of a gay son and daughter, and grandmother of a very lucky little boy who has two terrific dads, I want young people in North Carolina to know that many folks around the country will accept and celebrate their unions. Our understanding of family is built around love and mutual support, not exclusion or disapproval. Lack of acceptance can have disastrous results, including increased risk of suicide, fear of threats at school, and substance use in gay teenagers who experience family rejection. I hope that adults in North Carolina communities will form safety nets around gay and lesbian young people to reassure them that the sentiments reflected in this vote are not universal.
Carole E. Allen, M.D.
Arlington, MA
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Forgive them, for they know not what they do. Fear trumps courage. The people have spoken. No gay marriage in North Carolina. Many people are afraid of change. They are indoctrinated with old beliefs and manipulated into thinking that allowing a loving couple of the same sex to marry somehow threatens them. They do not know how much harm, pain and suffering this amendment will cause to those who are truly innocent. The supporters of this amendment may not be hateful nor bigoted but perhaps ignorant and misguided. Please forgive them, for they know not what they do.
Tom Cameron
Cary
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The citizens of N.C. should stand in awe of Thom Tillis, Skip Stam and their supporters. On one day and with one sentence they have nullified the Preamble, Sections 1, 13 and 19 of Article 1 of the constitution of North Carolina, violated the 1st Amendment, 14th Amendment and the full faith and credit provision of the U.S. Constitution, profaned the Bible and faith, and enshrined discrimination. Congratulations on a level of leadership and political accomplishment not seen since Germany in the 1930s.
John Hinshaw
Raleigh
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The American Psychological Association has affirmed that same-sex sexual and romantic attractions, feelings, and behaviors are normal and positive variations of human sexuality regardless of sexual orientation identity. And the American Psychiatric Association has affirmed that attempts to change homosexual behavior are often guided not by rigorous scientific or psychiatric research, but sometimes by religious and political forces opposed to full civil rights for gay men and lesbians.
Yet our state will deny committed same-sex couples, and their families, rights currently afforded to them under a civil, not religious, union? Religious interpretation has, regrettably, all too often been used to relegate individuals to second-class citizenship. The husband shall rule over the woman (Genesis 2). As God placed the races on different continents it is proof that He never intended for them to mix (in defense of miscegenation law, Lovings criminal trial). And homosexuality is abomination (Leviticus). Protect marriage? It is high time that we protect one of our most cherished founding liberties, our First Amendment’s Establishment Clause.
Art Kamm
Apex
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OK, all right. Now that we have removed many of the constitutional rights of a large minority, it's time to move to the next step to protect The South: We must protect us heterosexual citizens from the risk of being exposed to THEM in public toilets. Let's reactivate all those "Colored" toilets from the 19th and early 20th Century and hang signs on the that say "Queer Only". Maybe we should list some of the groups that are suspicious just to be even more on the safe side, such as male dancers, female athletes, neat dressers and opera singers, not to mention male teachers and Catholic priests. Gee, the more we think about who to suspect, the longer the list gets. Maybe THEY should get the regular toilets and those few of us who are probably straight can go to the segregated (oops!) ones. Then we can work on the issue of who gets to go to which schools. After all, we don't want our kids exposed to the fearful contagion of gayness.
Ed Nicholson
Cary
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How ironic! Your front page photo (May 9, 2012) shows a pastor celebrating passage, by popular vote, of the marriage amendment that forbids same-sex marriage. What if the 13th Amendment, which abolished slavery, were put to a popular vote in 1865? What if the 14th Amendment, which granted citizenship to former slaves, was put to a popular vote in 1868? What if the 15th Amendment, which protected the right of U.S. citizens to vote, were put to a popular vote in 1870? And much closer to home, what if the Voting Rights Act, which outlawed discriminatory voting practices, especially against African-Americans, were put to a popular vote in 1965? Would the pastor be celebrating today? Popular vote often fails to protect minority rights, and it takes courageous political leaders to challenge the majority view.
Coby Schal
Cary
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Now that we as North Carolinians have decided to base laws on The Bible, here are more amendments that we should add: We should fire all female teachers and make the State only hire male teachers. “But I suffer not to permit a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” (1 Timothy 2:12) We should ban women braiding their hair and wearing jewelry. “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety, not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.” (1 Timothy 2:10) We should redistribute all possessions of wealthy people to poor ones: “He answereth and saith unto them, he that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.” (Luke 3:11) Finally, we should ban all prayer in public. “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say to you, They have their reward.” (Matthew 6:5)
Finley Snipes III
Wilson
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For those who voted for Amendment One thinking that they were following the Bible: May it be done unto you as you have done unto others and may you reap what you have sown. Amendment One is opposed to everything America stands for – life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is against everything Christ stood for. Christ never spoke against homosexuality and said that the only commandment is love. The only sex act he said was a sin is adultery. I am ashamed to live in such a hate-filled spiritually backward state. Thank goodness at least the Triangle area has opposed this heinous law. Let's vote in more Democrats so that we can get rid of our right wing extremist Supreme Court justices and then get this law declared unconstitutional, which it is.
Kathleen Wright
Durham
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Now that Amendment One has been voted on and passed, no matter what happens down the road, one thing is clear – the Amendment One opponents are sore losers! From what I've read online and in the newspapers, all those who voted for Amendment One are bigots, sellouts, weak and disappointments to the state! That's funny because most supporters of Amendment One feel the same way about you opponents. The only difference is, they don't insult people to get their points across! You lost, suck it up, and move on. That's why it's called voting, you can't always get the results your wanted – 61 percent of the state has spoken, deal with it!
Stephen Lynn
Willow Spring
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The irony of a photo showing a black minister who is celebrating the fact that discrimination against some members of our society has become part of the constitution was not lost on me. I was pondering all day long about the implications of the vote on me. On the surface, I am not impacted. Yet, my own freedom seems strangely diminished by my knowledge that I cannot share it with everybody else.
Karin Singleton
Raleigh
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Re our new constitutional amendment: what's next – pink triangles on the clothing of all gay people in North Carolina? (Reference Nazi Germany)
Edith Romaine
New Bern
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My wife (a woman) and I (a man) have been married for over 59 years. We have spent 25 of those years in North Carolina. The efforts of the homophobes and religious radicals, among the legislature and the voting populace, has now made us ashamed of admitting that we live in this state. Apparently, the legislature was worried that some future legislature would overturn the marriage law, so they decided to cement it into the constitution.
Perhaps they would now like to pass a law like this 1715 Maryland adultery law: 234 Maryland Assembly Proceedings, April 26-June 3, 1715 (in part)
“And in Case the said Offenders or any of them shall not have wherewith to pay the Sevll fines by this Act Imposed then the said Offenders shall be Adjudged to suffer Corporal punishment by whipping upon his or their bare bodies 'till the blood Doe appear so many Stripes not Exceeding thirty nine”
Albert Cinquepalma
Cary
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On Wednesday morning after the election, I, my son, and many others participated in a news conference held on behalf of a group of people of faith that opposed the amendment that would bar the state from recognizing gay marriage. In the question period, a reporter asked a critical question: Are the people behind you members of the LGBT community? he asked. Most of us chuckled. I suspect the question really was whether we were all gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. The answer to that question is no; there were many heterosexual people of faith present, including me.
But if the question was in fact whether we are all part of the LGBT community, the answer was an emphatic yes. We are all part of the LGBT community because were all part of the same community, no matter the label. We seek to encourage one another, to support one another, and to help one another become better mothers, fathers, partners, neighbors, citizens, and people of faith. That’s what community is about. Forty percent of North Carolina on Tuesday signaled the same sentiment.
The real question we ought to be asking is what sentiment the 60 percent were trying to signal.
Mark Nance
Raleigh
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I grew up in Alabama in the 1980's and 90's. I witnessed overt, covert and legislative prejudice, some of which I didn't fully comprehend until I was an adult.
As a Caucasian, I can only imagine what I didn't see. After moving to Chicago at the age of 24, I began to see just what I had left behind. Because here was a place where people of all races, sexes, religious belief and orientations lived with the idea that we are all equal and should have the same rights, regardless of our differences.
It was wonderful to see people living without fear of prejudicial recriminations, sometimes based on nothing more than an outward appearance. Your character was what you were measured on, not a label that was affixed to you. This was not behavior I saw where I grew up. It made me feel ashamed of Alabama.
Six years ago, I was unsure about returning to the South, but North Carolina won me over with her charm, tolerance, culture and diversity. I never thought the day would come when I would have a reason to be ashamed of her. The North Carolina that bravely broke away from the tyranny of George III would be ashamed, too. North Carolina has taken one giant leap backward for all mankind, and the passage of the Marriage Amendment is a pox on all our houses.
Stephanie Owens
Raleigh
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Esse Quam Videri.
It means "to be rather to seem." It is the state motto of North Carolina. Well technically, North Carolina both in appearance and practice, is a theocracy or theocratic state. In other words, it is what it seems to be.
Michael L. Monk
Raleigh
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A couple of things in the your May 9 edition in the aftermath of the passage of Amendment One struck me as odd.
The first was the front page picture of Dr. Patrick Wooden cheering the passage of an amendment joining N.C. with other southern states in which several decades ago he would not have been allowed to vote. Someone one stood up for his rights. When he had a chance to stand up for another minority, he sat down.
The other was a quote by Tami Fitzgerald, the Vote for Marriage chairwomen, in which she said "marriage was not invented by government." I agree, that is why government should stay out of defining marriage.
Once again Paul Stam, Phil Berger, and Thom Tillis have chosen to inflame their base to disguise their lack of leadership in solving the problems of our State.
Ron Hamrick
Pittsboro
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I am disappointed with the passage of Amendment One and the enforcement of one particular religion’s views over the entire population – the Taliban would be so proud. I would, however, like to look at the bright side. All the African-Americans who voted for the amendment can now better empathize with the bigots who voted against equal rights for blacks back in the 1960s; it seems the content of your character is actually quite similar.
Zachary Arcaro
Cary
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The Baptist Church I attended as a child in rural eastern North Carolina (I have 13 years of perfect attendance pins to prove our family's fervent support) bears no resemblance to the Baptist Church of today. Sermons in my "old" church were mainly based on Jesus' teachings of love, forgiveness, tolerance. We left each Sunday with the instructions from our minister to go into the world and be kind and loving to everyone we met. The pulpit was not used as a place of preaching of intolerance, hate, and bigotry.
Baptist Church members may find themselves celebrating in the pews this Sunday, but I wonder how many of the people there can honestly say that they feel good about casting a Yes vote on May 8th?
Melanie Brinson-McDonald
Raleigh
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The photo on Wednesday's front page, showing Dr. Patrick Wooden celebrating, could well be one of a civil-rights victory celebration, but it isn't. After the long struggle for civil rights it certainly is incongruous for Dr. Wooden to, instead, be celebrating the passage of the marriage amendment. The photo's not-so-subtle message is that discrimination is fine – as long as others are the ones being discriminated against. How sad that is.
Thomas McKee
Cary
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Well it did happen. We, the people on North Carolina, have allowed a group to impose their religious beliefs on the rest of us. Injecting their religious beliefs into our state constitution. Now I wonder how long it will be before they decide what else some of us are doing that offends their religious doctrine and has to be banned by law.
Gene Presson
Raleigh
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Now that we've banned the LGBT community from getting married in North Carolina, why stop there? Let's ban left-handed people, too. After all, God made people right-handed, and left-handed people place an undue burden on the fabric of society. Also, just like gay people going straight, left-handed people can be trained to be right-handed, especially if we start early enough. Look at Dory Previn. Maybe we can get another amendment on the November ballot. And after that: curly-haired people. They always bothered me, too.
Glenn Mehrbach
Durham
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North Carolina has now joined my home state of Virginia in bigotry. To paraphrase George Orwell, apparently, some people are more equal than others. The irony, however, is that the very enactment of this amendment is a sign of weakness. North Carolina, Virginia and the other states will ultimately re-amend their constitutions to remove these blotches.
I criticize two specific groups who backed Amendment One.
First, the African American pastors, who more than anyone should understand what it is like to seek equal rights. A lot of gay blood was spilt for the cause of civil rights for African Americans, and these pastors should now hang their heads in shame.
I also criticize Billy Graham and the members of his family who urged North Carolinians to vote for prejudice and unequal rights. This family may shine up a bit better than other televangelists, but they have no true understanding of Christianity's message of love, tolerance, and charity. Indeed, Billy Graham himself demonstrated his innate bigotry many years ago when he failed to reprove President Nixon for his overtly racist comments about Jews, all taped and recorded for history. This family is one that I would shun.
Robert Adams
Richmond
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I was not shocked but saddened by the results of the election to reaffirm discrimination against a minority of North Carolinians on Tuesday May 8th.
My chagrin was increased to see a fellow black man with his fist raised, seemingly gleeful that someone else’s civil rights had been denied.
That picture reminded me of black people celebrating another gross miscarriage of justice: the acquittal of O.J. Simpson.
Perhaps they are right about their reasoning, based on a book written by men about a Deity whose existence is purely a matter of faith.
Maybe I will burn in Hell for wanting hard-working honest people to have the same rights as other citizens, but if that’s true I have a hard time reconciling this hateful rhetoric with a loving, caring God.
One wonders if “sanctified” black people would also resort to water hoses and vicious dogs to break up a homosexual wedding?
Maloey E. Jones
Wake Forest
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The writers of the amendment have been successful in playing to the fears of the citizens of North Carolina. So, while they still have the momentum, let’s dust off and rewrite amendments, from the past, that will restrict people of certain religious beliefs or skin color from interfaith or interracial marriages, or even being able to vote. After all, if individuals are able to use the power of political office to restrict the "rights" of certain citizens then why stop when there are other citizens who need to have their "rights" restricted? Are we heading to the day when certain folks will have to sew an emblem on their clothes identifying who they are? Walt Kelly's Pogo said it best, "We have met the enemy and he is us."
Leon DeBaer
Knightdale
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To all of us who are sad because ignorance, fear, bigotry, and hatred will become constitutional discrimination: Don't lose hold on what is real in our lives. We know who we are. We know that our loves and our families will survive this additional and temporary rejection. Be especially attentive to your partners and your children, and then keep moving forward. Let others wallow in sanctimonious self-righteousness. We are not defeated. And to those straight couples and single parents who will now feel the cold steel traps of being locked out: welcome to our world.
Steve Ferebee
Rocky Mount
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In the aftermath of the amendment vote one of the saddest elements has been the support of, even the existence of black Christians. Here is a religion whose texts are riddled with racism, which has been used to justify the most horrific racial abuse and which has, historically, been destructive of black culture and black life itself. This is a poignant example of "Stockholm Syndrome," or a manifestation of the perverse situation where an abused child clings to the abusive parent. In a more socio-political sense, the black refusal to recognize the equivalence of racism and homophobia is part of the battle to claim the mantle of "biggest victim" – a position of enormous power – which we can also see in the conflicts between black and Jewish people and even between Israelis and Palestinians.
It is always the way of power to divide and conquer. What better means of doing so than to have the oppressed use the weapons of the oppressor against themselves.
Martin Eagle, Ph.D.
Durham
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In reference to your May 8 front page: I find it ironic that you chose a photo of an African American couple celebrating the passage of Amendment One. For decades the back of the bus has been a place of equality. Now in North Carolina, seating reservations have been made for homosexuals. Shameful.
Rachel A. Anderson
Chapel Hill
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Viewing the photos of the "winners" in Amendment One, I can only think "discrimination is OK if it's not against me." Hitler's Germany started slowly discriminating against Jews because they were a distinct group and from there the process grew to its eventual culmination in the tragedy of the Holocaust. The process took 12 years, from 1933 to 1945. Perhaps equating the two seems total stretch, but then again maybe not, it certainly appears like N.C. has gotten a good start. So let's ask the Republicans, who is next on the list? You or someone you love? Oh, and by the way, the economy is still struggling and we are still at war, in case you've been distracted.
Kevin Nesbitt
Apex
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As a native of Raleigh, I've always thought of my home state as a little more progressive than the rest of the South. It is a sad day when a majority of voters writes bigotry into our state's constitution. The civil rights of a minority should not be open to a popular vote. I'm a little less proud to be a North Carolinian this morning.
Gale Kerbaugh
Raleigh
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As the dust settles on the Amendment One vote, primary voters are likely either pleased with what they see as support for their religious beliefs and the institution of marriage, or disappointed with what they interpret as the passage of an amendment inspired by intolerance. As a young voter, I am disappointed in the results, but I am left with a profound belief that North Carolina’s best days are ahead.
In the lead-up to vote, I saw peers of mine who generally paid little notice to politics speak out and actively seek to change hearts and minds. I saw young adults from divergent political and religious beliefs rally around the idea that North Carolina's constitution should not be used to deny rights to a subset of North Carolinians. Young people may not have shown up to vote in large numbers, but it is the young adults who get involved that will lead this state in the years to come.
The pragmatism, compassion and civility these young leaders have shown during this fight make me extremely optimistic about North Carolina’s future.
S.J. Hightower
Chapel Hill
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Last Sunday The N&O featured a full-page ad by the Rev. Billy Graham, a self-styled man of God. The sight of it brought back some nauseating personal memories of his 1954 crusade in Scotland when, even at the age of 15, my flesh crept as I listened to his Bible-thumping, guilt-mongering diatribe and its subtle promotion of the USA as God's latest chosen race.
It gave me great pleasure to vote against the amendment, both to support my many friends in loving relationships, and also to support those who, like myself, resent the concerted efforts of Graham and his ilk to turn this great country into a theocracy.
Alexander Anderson
Carrboro
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Congratulations, fellow Christians, on a battle well-won! Now that Amendment One is a reality, we can admit that it was never about protecting the family, but about proclaiming our moral superiority over the blight on society that homosexuality represents. Perhaps the greatest benefit of this legislation is that gays will now know that the Christian church is intolerant and stop seeking a salvation that can never be theirs. And for those churches that didn't have the courage to blatantly tell members how to vote (under some silly misconception that our constitution also provides for the separation of church and state) please share in our victory. Because of your silence, the only voice of Christianity heard by gays was ours.
Having proclaimed that gays have no legal protection under our constitution, we must enact further legislation denying them the right to vote. Let's insure the lasting effect of our efforts by proclaiming that anyone who is unmarried by the age of 25 be deemed homosexual and denied the right to vote. Without a voting lobby for the homosexual agenda, we can complete our mission and execute them, as required by Leviticus. Amendment One represents only the tip of an iceberg of what we can do in the name of God.
Jeffrey Whicker
Cary
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It is now time for us to revise our automobile license tags. If we are going to be honest as citizens they should now read, "First in Bigotry"
Allen Murray
Durham
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As an American and a free thinker, I would like to apologize to many of the citizens of North Carolina for the vote on this incredibly biased and vindictive marriage amendment. We are now all blighted with the fact that we live in a state that honors discrimination and bigotry in an amendment to our state constitution. It is embarrassing and disgraceful. I will do everything thing in my power to overturn this, day after day, week after week and month after month.
With a mere 37 percent voter turn-out, those who did not vote are all guilty of not exercising your rights. So, shame on all of you who were too lazy to get out and vote against this abomination to our freedom. If you are too stupid to understand the consequences of this, then I suggest you read your Constitution and focus on the separation of church and state. You have just capitulated your right to live as you choose, and allowed a state-sanctioned religion to overrule your right to a separation of state and church.
Paul M. Kauffmann
Durham
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Amendment One passed, which was no surprise given the current political climate in this state. What was a surprise was that my mother called her gay son on the eve of the election to elicit his support FOR the Amendment because, according to her, it's what the Bible says you are supposed to do. She managed to do this in spite of the fact that she has welcomed me and my partner of 26 years into her home. Somehow, I think she must have forgotten the Bible passage stating, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Sadly, Amendment One and its supporters, including my mother, promote homophobia, which destroys lives and families.
Mark Waters
Durham
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In two weeks my family and I will move out of North Carolina. Arrived here 30 years ago, only to discover what a progressive state it has always been. The first state-supported university system; the first state-supported School of the Arts; the first state-supported School of Math and Science; the first state to allow statewide branch banking which enabled so much financial power to originate here; the vision and leadership that resulted in the Research Triangle and attracted thousands of high tech jobs, high paying jobs.
During those 30 years I injected over $4.5 million into the state economy in personal spending and income, property and sales taxes. Helped run a company that provided 150 above-average paying jobs, grossing over $100 million a year in sales. And, I invested thousands of volunteer hours helping non-profit organizations. No more.
After May 8 my family is officially classified as second-class in North Carolina, as codified by the majority using the state constitution. It follows that my money is also second-class and I will never again spend a dime in this state if I can avoid it.
So, to the majority of North Carolina who voted me second-class on May 8, congratulations. Go to church on Sunday and exult in the fact that you ran another one of them out of the state. Go to church on Sunday and exult in the fact that you helped Art Pope and his Republican preening hate-mongers in the legislature further their goal to take North Carolina to the bottom of the heap in religion-infused hatred, moral hypocrisy and the celebration of fear and ignorance, right alongside the states they so want to model North Carolina after – South Carolina, Alabama and Mississippi.
Probably fair to say good riddance on both sides.
Richard Myracle
Wilmington
