Before the fall ...

BEIJING — Before I ended up on the Olympics disabled list, I'd already figured out the best way to combat the sheer anxiety-inducing absurdity of being locked into a flying gas can for 14 hours.

Fly first class.

Disclaimer: My company did not pay for the upgrade. A generous someone did.

I'm here to say its one thing to get a few free drinks on the two-hour flight to Chicago and quite another to have Neina and Lou from the first-class cabin on the American flight headed to Shanghai watch over you.

I'm assuming most of you, like me, haven't had the pleasure. The best part is the seat has a real desk and turns into a real bed.

The second best part was the noise-cancelling headphones that canceled out the drone of those huge engines. The third best part was having someone bring me water every hour and then still ask me, "Are you sure you don't want some champagne?"

The smoked salmon wasn't too bad either.

When we touched down in Shanghai 14 hours after we'd lifted off, Lou, Neina and I were great old friends and I was about as fresh as one could hope.

Then that step ran up and bit me.