Comic distraction: bring vs. take

Sunday's "Rhymes With Orange" reminded me of the problems people have with "bring" and "take."

The comic strip carries the headline: Where the dove actually went. The panel shows a bird sitting at a bar and telling the bartender: "Another dry martini with olives, but this time leave the branch on so I can bring it to Noah." I'd edit the strip to have the bird say, "... take it to Noah."

Here is why: The bird is in one place and he's speaking about carrying the olive branch to another place. You take from the place you are to the place you're going. If Noah were speaking, he might tell the dove, "Bring me the olive branch." As Bryan A. Garner explains it, "bring suggests motion toward the writer or reader; it's analogous to come. Take denotes motion in the opposite direction; it's analogous to go."

Grammar Girl has a useful tip for remembering "bring" and "take." 

First, think of a restaurant where you can get food to go. It's often informally called getting "takeout." When you get takeout food, you're moving the food from your location — the restaurant — to somewhere else — a destination. And it's takeout food, not bring-out food. You're taking the food to a destination.

Second, if I'm sitting at home feeling lazy, wishing dinner would appear, I would say, "I wish someone would bring me dinner." I imagine Pat stopping at a restaurant and getting dinner to go. From my perspective, he is bringing me dinner because dinner is coming to my location.

As John McIntyre pointed out on his blog, You Don't Say, if the point of view of the speaker is irrelevant, either bring or take works. 

Postscrpit: If we think first of the dove being sent out from the ark, we could say that it would bring the olive branch back, but starting from the bar, it would take the olive branch.

Yes, I know: I am overthinking this.