I've enjoyed it, but it's time to get out of here.

My feet hurt, my tummy aches and I've gotta go home and feed the dog.

Tonight, I'm sure, donkeys and doughnuts will fill my dreams.

May they fill yours as well.

I've been at the fair for 10 straight days and I'm tired.....

But I've got to hand it to this miniature donkey. At least I got to go home each night. Donkey sleeps here.

Donkey kept trying to catch a couple winks this afternoon, without much success. There's just too much noise at the fair.

It's been a good ride, but it's time to stop eating fair food.

I'm not saying I won't have a final ice cream on the way out (in fact, that's exactly what I'm going to do) but in terms of meals, the fried-fish plate I had this afternoon will be my last.

The good news: all this fried food only added a fraction of a pound to my bottom line.

The bad news: It cost a fortune.

During each of the fair's 10 days, I ate at least one meal here and most days I had two.

I consumed three corn dogs, seven Cokes, a barbecue chicken sandwich, three ice cream cones, a cheeseburger, a glass of lemonade, nine glasses of chocolate milk, two Philly cheesesteak sandwiches, a pork loin dinner, a sweet tea, an M&M flurry, one hush puppy, two strawberry shakes, an ear of roasted corn, a fried chicken dinner, two small cups of chocolate-covered peanuts, two chocolate-chip cookies, a couple of bites of a fried Coke, a ribeye steak sandwich, an unsweet tea, a bag of little doughnuts and a fried tilapia sandwich.

The hush puppy was free at the House-Autry booth and there was free chocolate milk in the lounge used by fair workers, volunteers and the media.

I spent $129.50

Next year I'm bringing my own food...

Deals still abound at the fair. Inside the Kerr Scott Building, right next to the booth where the N.C. Dairy Industry Committee is moving milk for 50 cents a glass, the N.C. Agribusiness Council is handing out free cookies.

They're working the free-cookie angle pretty hard, too. Earlier in the week, the folks in the booth took a low-key approach to handing out their wares.

Now you can hear cries of "free cookies" on the other side of the building.

Free cookies rule.

came to the fair on Saturday, as 145,461 strolled through the gates to set an all-time, one-day attendance record.

It eclipsed by 6,000 or so a record that has stood since 1984.

190.1 pounds.

Which means that after nine days of eating fried meat and ice cream cones, I have gained a total of 0.1 pounds.

My new idea is to write a book, "Why Corn Dogs Make Delicious Breakfast Treats," shill it on "Dr. Phil" and make a million dollars.

I'll never have to blog again...

Of all the entertainment available at the fair, almost nothing is as popular as the racing pigs.

Fans arrive as much as an hour early to snag good seats for watching Hoggy Jarrett and Piggy Gordon race around a track. The winner gets first crack at the handful of cheese doodles at the finish line.

But folks who show up expecting only pigs are in for a surprise. Hogs, it seems, aren't the only animals who enjoy cheese-like products. Click the video to see more.

I bought a Coke this morning and after I was about halfway through it, I noticed a sticker on the outside of the cup: "Meet Chris Berman in Hawaii."

Sounds good, I thought. The ESPN anchor seems pleasant enough. So I started to peel it off, and that's when I noticed the fine print: "At the 2002 Football All-Star Game."

Suddenly, I felt at a disadvantage in this contest.

I peeled it off anyway, thinking what a drag it would be if I had a winner.

Turns out, though, that I did just as poorly in this 2002 contest as I do in the real-time ones: I got a "sorry, try again."

The only true allegiance out here is to the almighty dollar.

Take this T-shirt stand, which might be the only place in the world where a Che Guevara T-shirt is sold right next to one featuring Robert E. Lee.

Guevara and Lee - now there's a dinner party for the ages.

As for what Guevara, a socialist revolutionary, might have thought about the T-shirt sold right below his, well, we can only speculate...

but apparently she couldn't help herself.

The other day I peeked in on the judging for the pecan recipe contest and had a small taste of a pecan pie bar. I blogged (and included a parenthetical that my mom should avoid this particular sentence) that I liked the pecan bar better than candy bar cookies, a legend around the Ehlers household.

Well, she didn't skip over it and instead sent a sarcastic e-mail, noting that she was "SHOCKED" that I might like the pecan bars better. (My mother, who lives in the Midwest, must be this blog's most faithful reader.)

She also told me that she came across that recipe in a pamphlet handed out years ago by a Senate candidate at the Missouri State Fair. The fair, it seems, has a peculiar hold on me.

So without further rambling, here is the recipe for my favorite childhood treat, candy bar cookies.

Crust
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup margarine
1/2 cup light corn syrup
3 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon salt
4 cups raw old fashioned oats

Topping
1 cup chocolate chips
1/2 cup peanut butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 9 x 13 pan with aluminum foil and grease well. Mix brown sugar and margarine together. Add other crust ingredients and blend. Spread into foil lined pan and press down firmly. Bake 15 minutes.

While crust is baking, mix peanut butter and chocolate chips together well. Immediately after removing crust from oven, drop spoonfuls of topping on crust. Spread gently until melted. Refrigerate until cool. Lift foil and bars from baking pan before cutting into squares.

Please disregard the previous post.

I just realized the guy running one of the squirt-gun races in kiddieland just said "any prize, any size," about 10 times in 30 seconds.

I could never be a carny - there's just too much repetitive rhyming involved.

By the way, he just said (like five times) "You've got to be in it to win it."

Since all this fair food seems to have done nothing to my waist line, I've decided to consider a career change. Perhaps it's time I follow my dream and become a carny.

I could see America. I could meet Americans. I could eat a lot of ice cream.

No more working for The Man.

Goodbye, cruel cubicle.

Goodbye.

Light-up pacifiers, man.

Where have you been?

It's only the hippest thing since MC Hammer pants.

Shailese Hardy of Creedmoor and her boyfriend, Terrell Ray of Butner, picked up a pair for $5.

And yes, I asked the same question you're asking: why?

"They're cute," said Shailese, 16.

Terrell, 17, had an even more reasonable answer: "I got one because she got one."

...and Washboard Willy and Wishboard Wanda definitely qualify as one of those.

The video is a little shaky - please forgive me.

It's difficult to walk backward while keeping an eye on the island-themed washboard player and attempting not to knock over little kids.

(Now there's a sentence I've never written before...)

...and I haven't done a pull-up since the 7th grade.

But for other people, people who have more ambition and athletic ability that I do, the pull-up bar at the Marines booth is a must-do.

Sgt. Orlando A. Garcia, a recruiter based in Cary, told me the pull-up bar pushes participants to do their personal best, just like the Marine Corps does.

And the Marines will get your back, too. Jeremy Jones, 7, of Apex, took full advantage and ripped off a whole round of impressive pull-ups.