Muriel Watson writes: Just wanted everyone to know I am still here --and still struggling!
I have not been able to go to the gym but four times since my last blog entry. I am so disappointed with my efforts to stay focused on this journey. My daughter has been very sick and after many tests and even exploratory surgical procedure still no answers. I have been so distraught worrying about her, I haven't even thought about trying to take care of myself.
When you have been at the hospital for tests and it's 5 or 6 pm before you even get on the road home, it's just so much easier to run through that drive-thru and eat on the way! Forget that in a couple of hours, you're going to be starving again because of all the empty calories you have just inhaled. It's not just any hunger, but feels like you could eat the leg off of a wooden hobby horse! If that's not emotional eating, I don't know what is. I try to fight it , but then I end up giving in and hate myself even more afterwards! It is a vicious cycle, I know but it's me.
My friend, Teresa, keeps me smiling even when I just want to bust out and cry for a day or two! She never lets me give up and continues to ask me to go with her to the gym, and when we to go, she pushes me hard to not give up. I probably would have given up already if it weren't for her pushing back when I need it. My coworkers know the things going on in my life right now and are very supportive.
I am still at my same weight -- no gains but no losses either. I am making a goal for myself. That was how I lost the 100+ pounds last year. My goal is to lose 50 more pounds by the end of the summer. If I do this, then I am going to treat myself to doing what I love -- driving fast! No need to worry, I am referring to the Richard Petty Driving Experience!, which I did last year and fell in love with it. Being in that race car, going around the Charlotte Motor Speedway at 168 mph (our top speed) was exhilarating! That is the same feeling I get when I succeed at my weight loss or finally get to spend time with my best friend. It is what I need and long for.