Tahira Nyabinghi writes:
Defining myself, who am I? Really?
Cut myself off from my reality for a short time to focus on me, allowed another to show me kindness, safety and comfort. Released my independence for a moment to develop a vision of what it is truly like to receive without strings, barriers, expectations.
It has been surreal, awakening, enchanting. I awoke to feel like a newborn, itching to spread my wings but scared to death at what would happen when I jump from the nest. Knowing internally that I must take a deep breath and a leap of faith in order to regain the woman I am.
Somewhere along this winding road, I left myself, I left my joyous spirit, I left the youthful pleasure I once had. I do not mean “reliving my youth”. I do not have any desire to regress. I am talking about deep within, to the core of my being, that spirit possibilities, of gentle risk taking, of just skimming the edge for a taste of the unknown.
As we get older, we become complacent, jaded by experiences. We internalized the mistakes and pains and permit them to define who we are. We leave our essence behind.
I no longer want to survive this way. I choose to take a step back and find that part of myself that I thought was lost.
Through the soft nudging of a friend, I have seen her again and she is beaming at the prospect of reuniting.
In my clearest state of mind, I know that I will meet my goal of 110lbs and not just be outwardly healthy, but mentally at peace and complete once again.