Tahira Nyabinghi writes: I have been depressed lately. I really can't put my finger on it, though I have tried to over the past few weeks.
I thought, being a raw head, that it was the German sprouts issue that was causing consternation but that proved fruitless. I then surmised that I was diminishing my salads and becoming bland in my efforts, this too eluded my grasp.
To date, I have yet to discover the culprit of my depression.
In all rights, I should be running around with a grin from ear to ear, pronouncing "I am losing weight my way!" the sun has been shining every day, except for one when we had showers, but even those two storms just added to the beauty of nature.
I got two healthy grades on some papers I turned in and kudos from my instructors. I opened my business downtown today with my partner and we will be introduced at a chamber meeting soon.
I still can't manage to smile or cry or do anything except sigh.
Possible reaction to something that I am eating? From time to time, I write poetry and this is my composition this evening.
I walk this solitary path alone.
First, by circumstance, then by choice.
Before I came to this plane, I was an Earth Mother.
In this world, I am still.
The beauty of spirituality,
the depth of knowledge,
the radiance of power.
All reside in each of us.
We must find what makes us whole.
I am where I should be.
I seek others to walk beside,
to share,
to experience,
to know.
Comments
Possible cause of depression, Nyabinghi
Wed, 06/22/2011 - 14:30 — vegedgeI recently started reading about a branch of psychology that meets and connects ecology and environmentalism and psychology together. It is called ecopsychology, the applied version being referred to as ecotherapy.
There is a book called "Ecotherapy: Healing with Nature in Mind", edt by Linda Buzzell and Craig Chalquist
In this book, there are articles by several professionals and academics discussing similar situations as yours. There are therapists that belief individuals can go through a process of "waking up" to global consciousness. This is becoming intimately connected with and effected by nature in such a way that one realizes how all life depends on each other for survival. One possible avenue to "waking up" is diet. It is theorized that part of the reason we have mal-adaptive relationships with our environment, even our own bodies is because we have such destructive eating habits, from the ingredients of processed foods physically poisoning our bodies, to the guilt and shame of all the resources and waste it took to get the food to us (which is probably poisoning our hearts and souls). So, when you begin to heal your relationship with food, by eating raw, the change can "awaken" a deeper consciousness in your mind and body, allowing you to feel more intune with your environment, and if that environment is expressing pain to you, then I belief you would be empathetic to that pain and take it on as your own.
Many articles in "Ecotherapy: Healing with Nature in Mind" include accounts from practicing ecotherapists about clients coming in with seemingly unprovoked depression and wanting to get to the root, and soon discovering they are literally carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders, sharing the pain of our planet, or a specific part of our planet that are suffering deforestation, or being trampled to make way for more urban landscapes. After reading your article and poem, it seems plausible that you may find this aligns with your feelings.
When one begings to "wake up", you can experience something similar to the 5-stages of grief one goes through after suffering a severe loss. However, the grief associated with the death of our planet is different than the grief associated with the death of a loved one because with the loss of a loved one there is one loss to process and heal from, whereas with the death of our world, it is continual loss that one must continally process and work through. Your description of numbness reminds me of depression stage in this model, where one finds little solace in material success and is completely overburdened by the worsening condition of our home. However, the depression stage is followed by one of hope where individuals discover their inner strength by participating in activies like building a community garden, planting trees, or environmental activitism.
These ideas may or may not help you discover the root of your sadness, but I would encourage you to check out the book. You may find some enlightening material.
Good luck. :)