A Sister's Revenge (8pm, Lifetime) - A successful restaurant owner with a loving family sees his life begin to unravel when a sexy, manipulative woman worms her way into his business and personal affairs.

My Cat From Hell (8pm, Animal Planet) - Jackson helps a family whose cat attacks everyone in the house with ruthless efficiency. Also, an adopted stray has trouble shedding its aggressive side and adjusting to its new surroundings.

Doctor Who (8pm, BBC America) - The TARDIS crashes and Clara (Jenna-Louise Coleman, right) becomes trapped inside. The Doctor (Matt Smith, right) rushes to save her before his damaged ship self-destructs in 30 minutes.

Smash (9pm, NBC) - Jimmy gets destructive and jeopardizes "Hit List," so Derek, Ana and Kyle try to get him to refocus. Elsewhere, Tom and Julia consider ending their partnership as the "Bombshell" cast and crew go into overdrive to make the show a success.

Iyanla, Fix My Life (9pm, OWN) - A Georgia radio DJ needs help mediating between her new husband and her teenage son.

Gabriel Iglesias: Aloha Fluffy (9:30pm, Comedy Central) - Comedian Gabriel Iglesias performs in Honolulu at the Hawaii Theatre.

King Fishers (10pm, National Geographic Channel) - Three anglers battle for the King Fisher crown in the premiere of this new reality competition series.

If there's such a thing as the WTF?! school of filmmaking, consider "Stalkers" (8 tonight, Lifetime), a masterpiece of the genre.

It is a movie so wack-a-doo, so artless, so misguided, so...many things, I wonder whether reviewing it makes me complicit. I don't want viewership of this movie on my conscience.

Detective Diane Harkin (Drea de Matteo) is new to the Seattle police force, and she's not trying to ingratiate herself to her colleagues, not even her partner Cliff (Henry Simmons). She's tough and quick tempered; we know this because she doesn't smile much, she wears leather and, in an early scene, she tries to choke a suspect. Sure, he's handcuffed and being escorted by two officers, but still. She would have put a hurtin' on him.

On the other hand, you've got to understand Harkin's frustration. She's apparently one of the few people in her town to think stalking should be taken seriously. Let's take a step back: "Stalkers" is one of those "inspired"-by-a-true-story movies, and its story is taken from the book “Whisper of Fear: The True Story of the Prosecutor Who Stalks the Stalkers”, by Rhonda Saunders, a criminal prosecutor who wrote the law on stalking in California. As far as I can tell that book came out in 2008, which explains why this movie feels so dated.

As I was saying, in all of Seattle, modern-day Seattle, stalking is just a big joke to police. And District Attorneys. Except for Julia Winston (Jodi O'Keefe), an ambitious A.D.A. who wants to establish a task force on stalking but is rebuffed in that effort by the married D.A. who she has been sleeping with. (Among its flaws, this movie has strange notions about what makes a woman strong and independent.)

Diane and Julia get to join forces when they try to help Jane (Lela Loren), who is being terrorized by her former lover Ivy (Mena Suvari). I'm pretty sure that the lesbian angle is the sole reason this case, above all others in the book, was chosen. That way, the film could recreate a steamy girl-on-girl love scene and get you all hot and bothered because, as Jane points out, even if you're a woman who hasn't been with a woman before, you've thought about it, right? And if you're a guy, as one cop listening to the Sapphic recreation demonstrates, what's a bigger turn-on then two women doing the nasty?

Performance-wise, no one is good in this movie. I'm not sure anyone could be and frankly, I don't blame them for not trying. de Matteo was on "The Sopranos" and Suvari starred in "American Beauty." This has got to be painful for them both.

I have a strict rule about not being a spoiler, so I won't go into details. Suffice it to say, there are several especially stupid, implausible things that happen in this movie, culminating in an ending that equates empowerment with murder. (See my earlier observation about strange notions.)

"Stalkers" makes me want to hunt down the people who greenlit this mess.

Bates Motel (8pm, A&E) - If you haven't watched the new A&E series that serves as a sort of modern-day prequel to Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho," there's a marathon of the four episodes that have aired starting tonight at 8 (and it seems to start over at midnight). I like it a lot. New episodes air on Monday nights at 10.

Stalkers (8pm, Lifetime) - In this new Lifetime movie, a volatile cop with a troubled past teams up with a polished DA to capture a stalker who is obsessed with a former lover. Adrienne reviews.

Doctor Who (8pm, BBC America) - The Doctor and Clara land on a Russian nuclear submarine in 1983 as it spirals into the ocean depths with an alien creature creating havoc on board.

Bet On Your Baby (8pm, ABC) - Toddlers clean up toys and stack cookies in the series premiere of this game show, in which parents attempt to guess what their babies will do. I personally can't imagine anything more tedious. Except maybe that there's a second episode airing at 9.

My Cat from Hell (8pm, Animal Planet) - Jackson helps a 95-year-old woman suffers violent attacks by her cat. Later, a woman who lives in a studio apartment with two cats that hate each other.

Orphan Black (9pm, BBC America) - Sarah's fake detective ruse stretches thin when the police find the body that she buried.

Smash (9pm, NBC) - Tom's overeagerness may hurt "Bombshell" as he and Julia prepare the show for previews. Meanwhile, Ivy has an onstage blunder, which leads her to make an important decision.

Louis C.K.: Oh My God (10pm, HBO) - Comedian Louis C.K. performs his comedy act, which includes routines on humans and the food chain, the merits of divorce, and murder and the law.

Saturday Night Live (11:29, NBC) - Vince Vaughn is the host, with musical guest Miguel.

NCAA Basketball: Final Four (6pm, CBS) - Wichita State takes on Louisville in the first Final Four game of the day, with the Syracuse vs. Michigan match happening around 8:30. A pre-game special starts at 4 p.m.

Garage Gold (7pm, DIY) - A new reality series about a Raleigh business, Garage Brothers, that specializes in cleaning out junky spaces and reselling some of the stuff they're given in trade for their labor. The premiere episode has owner Kraig Bantle struggling to unload a decade's worth of outdated furniture from the workspace of an interior designer. A second new episode airs at 7:30. Here's our story from Friday's N&O about Kraig Bantle and "Garage Gold."

My Cat From Hell (8pm, Animal Planet) - Two new episodes of this really pretty great cat show ring in Season 4. In the first episode, cat behaviorist Jackson Galaxy (left) helps a cat that is hearing- and vision-impaired and lashing out at his owners and a new kitten. Then, it's a family whose cat and dog are fighting like, well, like cats and dogs. In episode two, Jackson helps two people whose cats are disliked by their significant others.

A Mother's Rage (8pm, Lifetime) - A mother and daughter travel to the girl's new college, but before they reach the school they are terrorized on a highway.

Smash (9pm, NBC) - Tom's plans for Ivy's party include a surprise guest: Liza Minnelli. Elsewhere, the tension among Karen, Jimmy and Derek intensifies, and Julia is unexpectedly pulled away from "Bombshell."

Battledogs (9pm, Syfy) - A werewolf virus is unleashed in New York City, and the world's only hope lies with a rogue general who has taken the disease and created an army of super soldiers.

20/20 with Katie Couric (9pm, ABC) - Katie Couric spends an hour with the folks from the daytime soap "General Hospital."

Saturday Night Live (11:29, NBC) - Melissa McCarthy returns for her second time hosting, with Phoenix as her musical guest.

Nikita (8pm, CW) - Nikita and Michael learn about a new prosthetic hand that could help Michael return to his old self, but it comes at a steep price.

Profile for Murder (8pm, Lifetime) - A serial killer escapes from prison and stalks the retired criminal profiler who helped put him away.

Happy Endings (8pm, ABC) - Two more "Happy Endings" episodes tonight. In the first, Jane and Alex recommend Max to their longtime hairdresser, who dishes some juicy gossip about the ladies and triggers a sisterly war. In the second, Penny reaches out to her estranged father in advance of her wedding. Andy Richter plays her dad (he's kinda young for that, right?).

Grimm (9pm, NBC) - Rosalee is called up for jury duty and enlists Nick and Hank to stop a Wesen defense attorney from overturning a murder case.

Michael Feinstein's American Songbook (9:30pm, UNC-TV) - Season 3 opens with a look at American musicals with help from Steven Sondheim, Christine Ebersole and Angela Landsbury.

Blue Bloods (10pm, CBS) - Danny investigates a murder in a cemetery and discovers that the victim was a religious woman who was hiding her interfaith romance from her family.

Vice (11pm, HBO) - A new newsmagazine program offering stories from around the world debuts with a visit to the Philippines to examine the violent rivalries that erupt between political opponents. Also, a report on kids who are recuited by the Taliban to be suicide bombers in Afghanistan. Adrienne has a review of "Vice".

NCAA Basketball Tournament (CBS) - Elite Eight games start this afternoon. For more information on all game times and networks, check out our NCAA Tournament channel guide, which has a link to schedules.

The Ten Commandments (7pm, ABC) - Cecil B. DeMille's epic about the life of Moses (Charlton Heston) boasts an all-star cast and Oscar-winning special effects.

Dirty Teacher (8pm, Lifetime) - A high school senior discovers that a teacher is seducing her boyfriend. The situation becomes deadly when the accused woman tries to cover up the relationship.

Pit Boss (9pm, Animal Planet) - In the season finale, Shorty is asked to come to Miami to join the opposition to breed-specific legislation, but the invitation is also extended to Ronald, Sebastian and Ashley, who quits her new job even though Shorty's future is uncertain.

Rebel Eats (10pm, Food) - Justin Warner embarks on a road trip through the South to find culinary rebels like himself and encounters moonshine, bacon beer, deep-fried PB&J, jellyfish salad and a bowling alley that serves barbecue in a Mason jar.

You can't blame the real Chris Porco for trying to stop the airing of "Romeo Killer: The Chris Porco Story" (8 tonight, Lifetime). Murdering your father with an ax and attempting to do the same to your mother isn't something you want everyone to know about. And he's definitely right: this movie will not do great things for his reputation.

But here we are, another ripped-from-the-headlines film on the channel that specializes in them. It's a solid job, not one of the stellar efforts but the particulars of the case are compelling enough to carry it over the line.

The film opens in quiet Delmar, New York, where we see someone enter the home of the Porcos; dad (Lochlyn Munro) and mom (Lolita Davidovich) are sleeping. Mom wakes up just in time to see a hooded figure begin the butchering. When dad doesn't make it to work, the crime is discovered. Dad dies, but mom survives and clinging to life, nods in affirmation when asked if son Chris (Matt Barr) is responsible.

The person doing the asking is Joe Sullivan (Eric McCormack) who has known the family for years and Chris all his life. He doesn't seem to like Chris, who has a close relationship with Sullivan's daughter.

He brings Chris in and Chris denies the crime. He was away at school; someone even saw him jogging earlier that morning.

In flashbacks, we learn more about Chris' relationship with his parents. It seems Chris is a phony; he's been telling his friends at school that he's wealthy, and running up debts and stealing from his family to keep the lie going. And his grades are horrendous. Near the time of the killing, his parents are practicing tough love for Chris' transgressions.

But Chris is charming. He's not just a Romeo for young women his age, whom he sways to his side, but also to older women who see him as the perfect son. And when she recovers from her injuries, mom takes his side too. Because of her injuries she can't remember what happened, but the film suggests it could also be that she doesn't want to. Who wants to acknowledge rearing a sociopath?

The film focuses mostly on Sullivan, who becomes a pariah in town because of his zealous quest to convict Porco, and Porco, who spends most of his time manipulating everyone. Barr has the right square jaw looks be a low-rent seducer, but he's not charming enough to seduce the viewer into buying into his act too. The trick is to keep the audience guessing; instead Barr's Chris is so clearly a phony, his supporters look like dupes. McCormack always seems a little frustrated and determined in his roles, so the part works for him.

In the end, "Romeo Killer" offers a portrait of a disturbed young man, who even when he wasn't killing, had little regard for others unless they had something to offer him. It may not be a story that had to be told, but it is one that is interesting in the telling.

NCAA Basketball Tournament (CBS) - The madness continues. For more information on games and networks (all games will air on truTV, TNT, TBS and CBS), check out our NCAA Tournament channel guide, which has a link to schedules.

Kids' Choice Awards (8pm, Nickelodeon) - Josh Duhamel hosts the 26th annual celebration honoring kids' favorites in film, television, music and sports. Scheduled performers include Pitbull and Ke$ha.

Romeo Killer: The Chris Porco Story (8pm, Lifetime) - A college student is accused of murdering his father and badly disfiguring his mother in a vicious attack, but he maintains he is innocent of the crimes. Based on a true story. Here's Adrienne's review.

Chupacabra vs. The Alamo (9pm, Syfy) - When Chupacabras attack the San Antonio region, DEA Agent Carlos (Erik Estrada, right) teams with a band of outlaw gangsters to battle the horde of blood-sucking creatures. The battle culminates at the Alamo. Also stars Julia Benson ("Stargate Universe").

20/20: Vacation Confidential (9pm, ABC) - The news magazine offers tips for avoid travel pitfalls, including hotel scams and pickpockets. Also, a look at unusual vacation trends, such as web-selected travel partners and bear-sighting trips.

There's not much original, but there's something lovely about "Pastor Brown" (8 tonight, Lifetime), a film about a prodigal daughter challenged to find her way home.

When we first meet Jesse (Salli Richardson-Whitfield), she's pole dancing at a club in New York. Meanwhile, in her hometown of Atlanta, her pastor father (Keith David) collapses in the pulpit; soon Jesse's sister (Nicole Ari Parker) is calling for her to come home to be by daddy's bedside.

It's not a pleasant homecoming. Everyone knows Jesse isn't the Broadway dancer she claims to be. Her sister is resentful that she's been left at home to be dutiful and that, despite being dutiful, dad seems to like Jesse better. Plus she's been left to raise Jesse's son (Michael B. Jordan), who also has a chip on his shoulder just for Jesse for abandoning him.

Dad calls a bedside meeting, unexpectedly (and inexplicably) says he wants Jesse to take over for him as head of his church, and promptly dies. Almost no one is happy about this decision, but especially Rev. Callaghan (Michael Beach), an assistant pastor who has been waiting to take the main job, and his cousin Angelique (Tasha Smith), who has some unexplained ancient resentment toward Jesse. Even Jesse is skeptical, but after some thought, she decides to go for the job.

This, of course, is a story of redemption, and one of forgiveness, and it isn't just Jesse who needs forgiveness or redemption. For a bunch of church-goers, there's lots of bad behavior on display here.

But it works because the cast is strong. Richardson-Whitfield is just a wonderful actress; her Jesse is strong and vulnerable. She knows she's made bad decisions but she always owns them and Richardson-Whitfield imbues her with a quiet confidence and grace that makes her transition from troubled girl to enlightened woman seem plausible. Beach manages to bring layers to his unlikeable character that aren't necessarily in the script.

And the script does have lapses. Jesse and her son's relationship shifts course abruptly, a character played by first-time director/actor Rockmond Dunbar doesn't really have a place, but I'll give points for not going with the obvious ending.

Unlike other films that center in the church, this film isn't particularly preachy, although at least one message is clear: Father/heavenly Father knows best.

If you believe love is blind, love conquers all, and all you need is love, have I got a movie for you!

It's the sweet, hopeful and implausible "Twist of Faith" (8 tonight, Lifetime), the tale of how music and singing brings an unlikely couple together.

Jacob (David Julian Hirsh) is a kindly Orthodox Jewish cantor, a loving husband, and a devoted father of three who lives in Brooklyn. One day, his family gets on a bus and is slaughtered by a guy hopped up on something. The tragedy leaves Jacob unable to speak, but able to leave his garments, wallets and keys behind, board a bus and end up making his way to the deep South.

In the small Alabama town he eventually ends up in lives Nina (Toni Braxton), a single mother and devout Baptist church member; naturally she's in the choir. She lives next door to the church with her Uncle Moe (Mykelti Williamson) and her son Asher (Nathaniel James Potvin). Asher takes to silent Jacob first; Uncle Moe gives him a place to stay at the church, and when Jacob, who is also a carpenter (a Jewish carpenter!), proves himself handy, he earns a permanent place, much to suspicious Nina's chagrin.

But after a reminder that she's a Christian, Nina comes around and shows him some kindness; soon silent Jacob breaks his silence just for her. Before you know it, he's singing with the choir and everything. And the next thing you know, they're giving one another eyes of longing. Can this interfaith love be?

Well, the film actually kind of ignores that. While doing a nice job showing the rituals of Jacob's faith, "Twist of Faith" then pretty much ignores his commitment to that faith and that maybe, just maybe, Jacob's Orthodox Jewish mom, who lives in an Orthodox Jewish community, and pronounces his name 'Yacob' might at least be taken aback if her son told her he's got a thing for a black Christian woman. And what about the equally startling notion that a Jewish man from Brooklyn wouldn't think twice about moving to po-dunk Alabama?

While "Twist of Faith" doesn't handle race and religion realistically, it's got all the other tropes you want to see when Yankees go South: gospel music, rednecks, and guns (In the North, they're used for killing innocent people, in the South, for killing innocent, but tasty rabbits).

While Braxton and Hirsh don't have much chemistry, they are a good-looking pair; it's Williamson who saves the day. He's good even in a trifle like this.

Still, "Twist of Faith" is sweet-natured and the music's good. Even a critic like me likes a love story. After all, love is all that matters.