11:45 pm - North Carolina still hasn't been called by ABC.

We are all waiting for Obama....Where IS he??? How long can it take him to get there... I'm halfway expecting a chopper to come in and lower him down onto the stage... We have lots of time to hear people talk about what the night means to them. No word on the crowd estimates there... "Big."

Okay. Here we go.

The First Family-elect is onstage. Obama kisses his kids and says "Hello Chicago." I bet Oprah is crying her eyelashes off again.

Obama talks about McCain and how he is a fighter for his country, and about his sacrifices for his country.  Now a nod to Joe Biden. (Jill Biden is also wearing bright yellow - what the...).

Obama thanks his best friend, the rock of his family, the love of his life (aw!), Michelle.

Great news! The girls have earned their new puppy!! Wonder what kind they will get.

Bittersweet talk about his family no longer here, and about his grandmother in particular. He thanks all of his campaign workers and volunteers and organizers. Obama also reaches out to those who didn't vote for him, promising that he has heard their voices and that he will work for them too.

Great speech, people crying. Lots of "yes we cans." Now he's talking about the future for his daughters, and what America might be like for them. This is moving stuff. No one has ever denied -- the man can give a speech.  Yes he can.

Good night, folks!

11:15pm - This could go on all night. CNN is showing a humongous crowd in Chicago waiting for Obama. If McCain will concede, Happiness might go to bed. I'm not tired, but my behind is asleep.

Now we're at the McCain concession in Arizona. Cindy is wearing a toss-up-state-yellow dress and McCain has on a matching tie. McCain's mother is also wearing yellow!

McCain says he just called Obama to congratulate him and the audience boos (class!). He stops them. Seriously, I think this man has no patience for that stuff tonight. He's delivering a great speech and there's been enough of that already. McCain is speaking about the significance of the night for African Americans, and says some very sweet things about how sorry he is that Obama's grandmother didn't live to see this day. Very touching stuff.

McCain urges all Americans to offer Obama their goodwill and to find ways to come together. "Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans."

More boos from the crowd when McCain once again mentions that Obama has won. Palin is there too. I didn't see her at first. I thought she would still be in Alasksa, I guess.

10:15pm - More Comedy Central (rewound the DVR). Colbert says it's a good thing McCain won Kentucky because "if you stumble in Kentucky, there's always a veterinarian nearby ready to shoot you." Stewart calls Connecticut "the nutmeg state" because, "while it is nice to have, it is never essential." It goes to Obama, which Colbert considers a betrayal to Joe Lieberman.

Colbert says they can't call the race till the Supreme Court votes to stop the count, and that  there's still hope if California cracks off like graham cracker into the ocean.

Steve Forbes, CEO of Forbes Magazine, is a guest. Colbert asks Forbes (as a two-time Presidential candidate loser) how McCain can use his millions to soothe himself after his loss. The answer involves being nice to Cindy and reading Forbes magazine.

Now the correspondents accuse white people on the street of lying when they say they voted for Obama. Samantha Bee is really funny.

Guest: Mentor to both Obamas, Charles Ogletree. He swears he is not a radical and that he feels "cautious" about the returns. Colbert asks him if Obama wins, is racism over? No.

Larry Wilmore (Senior Black Correspondent) comes in to measure Jon's desk. Stewart asks him what he's doing. "Whatever I want." Jon asks him if there are going to be riots now that Obama is winning and Wilmore says, "No, it's not like the Lakers won." Wyatt Cenac says he's taking over the Colbert Report.

Stewart talks about that freaky CNN hologram, and calls Virginia for Obama. A sad rant by Colbert is hilarious, as is his closing speech on Barack Obama as the first Hawaiian President. I think Colbert is funnier than Stewart, but that's just me.

In true Comedy Central form, they never end anything on time, so my dvr cut the show off before it ended. Stewart announces at 11:00pm EST that CNN has projected Barack Obama is the next President. The crowd cheers and Colbert pretends to cry and to be distracted by his computer. Obama has 297 electoral votes but Colbert insists McCain can still pull it out.

As Daily Show correspondents come out in a panic and ask what they are supposed to cover now, Colbert calmly puts on dark sunglasses and noise-cancelling headphones. Yeah, this show went WAY over 11pm, so if you set your dvr for 10pm-11pm, you were in trouble. 

10pm - Now we can have some fun. Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 Live Election Special is on, cohosted by Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert (I just had to cancel a recording of The Shield to watch this!). The show starts hilariously with a battle of opening credits. Then Colbert stalls the election talk by wishing happy birthday to 100-yr-old ladies and trying to interview an animal trainer. Colbert, who plays a conservative pundit, invites a white cockatoo named Roscoe to "cut my throat to make these feelings end."

Colbert is upset that Obama won Pennsylvania, since Pennsylvanians should be too busy clinging to religion and guns to vote, but he's happy that his home state of South Carolina went for McCain. Colbert says South Carolina is "the bonus state" and triples in value, so this is far from over...Looks like Stewart is going to play Straight Man to Colbert tonight.

Comedy Central has a lot of commercials...

Locally, Hagan is making her acceptance speech. She mentions "ruby red slipper parties," and promises to work hard to earn the trust of North Carolinians who did not vote for her. Her speech is a lot shorter than Dole's. I'm glad because now I can switch back to Comedy Central. All I missed was a Rob Riggle piece, and I don't really find him funny, so that's fine.

9:30 - How the heck does Diane Sawyer walk in those heels? She's holding onto the rail by the ABC Polling Unit for dear life, so maybe it's not easy. She says there was record turnout in Ohio, and they show a pretty somber group at the McCain center in Ohio.

MSNBC is echoing the FOX sentiment that it's looking increasingly unlikely that McCain can win. They've given Obama 200 electoral votes and 90 to McCain.

Time for a slightly modified Dan Ratherism: "McCain's rapidly reaching the point where he's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire, and the bill collector's at the door."

On the local channels, Elizabeth Dole is giving her concession speech and thanking her husband Bob, who had a "good luck" cake made for her. I think that's what she was saying - I flipped over in the middle of it. I'm not trying to get partisan here, but I can't help but wonder if she will live here in North Carolina now, or if she's going back to Kansas. Maybe she and Bob can split their time. Sounds kind of like Dole might be crying a little. Now she's telling a lot of stories about her life, and listing all the stuff she has done in her career -- and it's an impressive list. She just made a point of emphasizing "under GOD," drawing huge cheers from her supporters. Is that one last dig at Hagan? I hope not.

WRAL just cut to an ECPI Security commercial in the middle of Dole's (rather long) speech.

9pm - Couric is interviewing a McCain person, who reminds her not to count him out. In the "what do you expect them to say" department, the McCain spokesperson also says Palin is extraordinary, and the Obama guy isn't willing to declare victory.

ABC is showing Grant Park, where there are about a billion people are lined up to see Obama, win or lose.

On MSNBC David Gregory is wearing a very snazzy pinstriped zoot suit. FOX is still your place to be for exit poll minutiae.

On NBC, Rudy Guiliani says no matter who wins, tomorrow we are all still Americans we support the winner. ABC is dissecting Virginia almost at a street level. Why can't they call that one already?

FOX is predicting Obama will win Ohio and McCain will win Oklahoma. Britt Hume says with Obama winning Ohio, McCain probably can't win unless there's a "stupendous upset on the west coast" -- like California going for McCain.

8:30 - A Dole spokesperson just got very snippy with WRAL's Gerald Owens because WRAL (and CBS and FOX) called the race for Hagan. He basically says he isn't crazy enough to believe WRAL because if WRAL ran the world, Al Gore would be president right now. But I'm paraphrasing.

Couric's map is looking nicer now that it's filling in with some colors. I apologize for criticizing her map earlier. ABC is talking about Barack's grandmother and showing sad pictures of him with a tear rolling down is face. His grandmother looks like the librarian in the town where I grew up.

CNN wins the award for having the most people on the "stage." They must have a gigantic budget for talent. I wonder if they get free pizza and snacks.

8pm - ABC is calling these states faster than Couric so I'm switching over. They just called Pennsylvania for Obama. They are calling a lot of states. As Dan Rather might say, we're crackling like a hickory fire now. Okay, he did say that. I totally stole that. I'm going to spice up my posts with Ratherisms.

An ABC reporter at the McCain HQ in Pennsylvania indicates he was booed when ABC called that state for Obama.

A quick check with FOX shows exit polling, with questions like "how many people have been contacted by a campaign?" WHO CARES. Right now we are hungry for actual votes! Now a blonde woman is showing off (literally) her "big" technology. There's some in-house competition with someone named Bill. OMG I think they are going to fight over who has the best technology at FOX. Chris Wallace just gets "blue cards." That is so sad.

HOLY COW - FOX News just called Hagan a winner by a HUGE margin. No one else has that! "Turn the lights down, the party just got wilder." (D.R. 2000)

7:30 - NBC is saying "Virginia, Virginia, Virginia." Anne Currie's weird floor-graphics are as comforting as a chalk board after my brush with the scary hologram on CNN. I'm leaving it here for a minute while I get a snack.

Oh, Diane Sawyer is on ABC now. She is saying 82% of Hillary's voters went for Obama. Charlie is saying how crazy it is that McCain waited so late to go into North Carolina.

On CBS, Jeff Greenburg moved around in what looks like a low budget Doppler map and Katie Couric pronounces it "magical."

We're hoping for local results soon...

7pm - I finally see the CBS map and it's underwhelming. NBC is talking about Senate races, but nothing about Dole right now. George Stephanopoulos is showing us the same electoral projections we've been seeing for the past week. Charlie has to point out to us that when you touch a state the numbers change. FOX is listing "too close to call" races (basically all of them). FOX has a busy screen, a bit hard to read.  They are competing big time for the technology award though - they have lots of bells and whisltes. But you know what they don't have? Morton Kondracke, who earlier proclaimed Obama the president. He is mysteriously gone now, and Juan Williams takes his place.

I see Kentucky has gone to McCain. If they call the whole thing right now, McCain wins.

Anne Currie is back in that magic graphic room.

Holy holy holy. Jessica Yellin is appearing and talking to Wolf Blitzer on CNN via a freaking hologram. They just kicked Anne Currie's technology arse. That is the creepiest thing I have ever seen.

Local breaks but no results are in yet.