Hiding (8pm, Lifetime) - A New York City teen is placed in the witness protection program after seeing her parents killed and testifying against the son of a vicious gangster, but realizes that her life is still in danger when a ruthless hit man discovers her secret identity.

Doctor Who (8pm, BBC America) - The seventh season ends with the discovery of a secret the Doctor planned on taking to his grave.

My Cat From Hell (8pm, Animal Planet) - Jackson Galaxy helps a family whose old cat is terrorized by a younger one that's new to the household. "America's Cutest Cat" (allegedly -- my cat was not interviewed) airs at 10.

Rock 'n' Royalty: Billboard's All-Stars (9pm, ABC) - Barbara Walters hosts a look back at past interviews with music stars such as Mariah Carey, Taylor Swift, Justin Timberlake, Justin Bieber -- (remember, the word "royalty" is in the title of this program) -- Lady Gaga, Lady Antebellum and One Direction.

48 Hours (10pm, CBS) - "48 Hours" investigates drugs, guns and gangs in Chicago.

Saturday Night Live (11:29, NBC) - SNL closes out its 38th season with host Ben Affleck and music guest Kanye West.

As always, I don't know how it happened. But I did.

That's what happens when you spend 35 minutes or so talking to Jenny Sekwa (not her real name), a middle-aged, self-deprecating, New England chatterbox with a wacky personal blog (check out the URL), a Twitter page with a misleading albeit titillating avatar and an insatiable love of movies.

In this whirlwind edition, we talk about the weird things she posts on her blog (including a YouTube clip that I thought for sure had her dancing in a tube top), how she turns into that cute talking dog from "Up" when she's around celebrities she loves (especially Mickey Rourke — yeah, she's crazy like that) and the on-the-side reviews she's done for a Web site or two. One of them, a review of that long-lost classic called "Gigli" (sarcasm, folks!), spawned a nice little debate that ended up with me doing the aforementioned Affleck-defending.

I now await all the snarky comments from my colleagues. You're welcome. You can also download it here.

MONDAY: Playing soundtrack selections over the phone with a crate-digging, film-loving DJ.