Big Bang Theory (8pm, CBS) - Priya uses her legal expertise to rip apart Sheldon's roommate agreement, and then the women take the flustered Sheldon out dancing. Yes, Sheldon dances.

The Royal Wedding: A Modern Fairytale (8pm, ABC) - It's crunch time people, this wedding is tomorrow and you have to be ready! This report by Chris Cuomo and Elizabeth Vargas may help.

American Idol (8pm, Fox) - Someone goes home, and Bruno Mars and Crystal Bowersox perform.

The Office (9pm, NBC) - Michael Scott says farewell to each staffer during his very last day in the Scranton office. Meanwhile, Deangelo (Will Ferrell) and Andy frantically scurry to retain Michael's most important clients. This is Steve Carell's final episode. Have some tissues handy.

Grey's Anatomy (9pm, ABC) - Callie and her baby are recovering after the accident, but Callie has yet to see her daughter. Meanwhile, Alex gets an idea that he thinks will make him chief resident as he treats a cranky terminal cancer patient, played by Doris Roberts. Also, a patient's sudden death makes Derek more cautious in the clinical trial and Teddy is pleasantly surprised by the return of psychologist Andrew Perkins (Jamese Tupper).

Countdown to the Royal Wedding (9pm, TLC) - More homework for you.

Break it Down (10pm, National Geographic Channel) - The old Yankee Stadium comes down after salvage crews save thousands of pieces of memorabilia, from the seats to the sod. Have some tissues handy.

American Idol (8pm, Fox) - One singer is eliminated. Are you taking for granted that Scotty is safe? Then you didn't see last week's shocking show. Also, Rihanna performs and Kelly Clarkson sings with Jason Aldean.

Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - Elena and Stefan attend a 1960s Decade Dance at school, but Klaus arrives after having taken possession of Alaric's body. His plan is to capture Elena and sacrifice her to end the vampire curse.

The Paul Reiser Show (8:30pm, NBC) - Paul Reiser ('Mad About You') returns in a sitcom loosely based on his own life. Reiser plays a TV star who has been out of the business for awhile, but auditions for a Mark Burnett game show after he learns that Larry David ('Curb Your Enthusiasm,' 'Seinfeld') is also interested. We didn't get an advance copy, but reviews have been universally horrible. I want 'Perfect Couples' back!!!

The Office (9pm, NBC) - As Michael trains his replacement (Will Ferrell), the staffers scramble to impress him. Ferrell isn't a permanent replacement, obviously. He'll be on the show for four episodes. Note: All of the NBC comedies are new tonight, so don't forget to check out 'Community' (8pm), 'Parks and Recreation' (9:30), '30 Rock' (10pm), and, I guess, 'Outsourced' (10:30).

Bones (9pm, Fox) - The death of a myth-busting TV host in the West Virginia wilderness may be the work of the legendary chupacabra, though the list of human suspects includes a pet psychic (Jo Anne Worley) who was one of the victim's professional rivals.

NCAA Tournament (7pm, CBS and TBS) - The games return. Of local interest, Duke takes on Arizona at 9:30pm.

Community (8pm, NBC) - Jeff plans a 'Pulp Fiction' themed birthday party for Abed. All of the NBC sitcoms are new tonight. At 8:30, the unfairly canceled 'Perfect Couples' (very funny, underrated) features Amy's bachelorette party, which doesn't go well due to a conflict with her childhood friend. On 'The Office,' Michael finally proposes to Holly (Amy Ryan, who makes her final appearance on the show). On 'Parks and Recreation,' Leslie plans a camping trip for the whole department, and on '30 Rock,' a forced hiatus sends staffers in search of backup jobs. And then there's 'Outsourced.'

American Idol (8pm, Fox) - Someone is eliminated. Jennifer Hudson and Sugarland perform.

Elizabeth Taylor Biography (8pm, Bio Channel) - A two-hour special on the life and career of the late Elizabeth Taylor.

Grey's Anatomy (9pm, ABC) - Richard wants Derek and Meredith to accept Adele into their Alzheimer's trial, and Henry (Scott Foley) has another complication.

Fairly Legal (10pm, USA) - In the Season 1 finale, Kate tries to prevent trouble at the Croatian embassy while settling a dispute between two brothers. She also deals with threats from Judge Nicastro and personal upheavals.

The Office (8pm, NBC) - NBC has a full night of 'The Office' -- six straight episodes. All repeats.

American Idol (8pm, Fox) - In fact, essentially everything on network TV is a rerun tonight, so you might as well watch the 'American Idol' results show and find out if Scotty McCreery got enough votes to continue his quest. Also tonight, J Lo premieres her new music video, "On the Floor."

The First 48 (9pm, A&E) - Two men are shot in a motel in Charlotte.

Fairly Legal (10pm, USA) - A big client asks Kate (Sarah Shahi) to mediate a simple financial matter, which quickly morphs into a case of identity theft before escalating to an immigration issue where Kate must defend a brave soldier (Christa Vidal) against a rigid Homeland Security prosecutor (Robert Moloney). Belita Moreno and Peter MacNicol also guest star.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - With so little on TV tonight, I guess it won't kill me to mention 'Jersey Shore.' There. I mentioned it. In other Death of Civilization news, Snooki is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

The Bride Was Seven (10pm, Oxygen) - Lisa Ling travels to Ethiopia to report on child marriage, relating the stories of girls and young women who are bravely attempting to avoid being forced into early marriages.

The Santa Incident (8pm, Hallmark) - In a new Hallmark movie, Santa's sleigh is shot down by Homeland Security and a nurse (Ione Skye) takes in Santa (James Cosmo) while he recovers from the fall and deals with the FBI.

Community (8pm, NBC) - Abed goes on a quest to find the real meaning of Christmas after he awakens in stop-motion animation. Jeff and Britta, worried about Abed's mental state, seek help from Professor Duncan. The whole group eventually undergo hypnosis to join Abed in his world.

The Office (9pm, NBC) - It's a Christmas miracle for Michael when his office nemesis, Toby, takes a leave of absence and his lost love Holly (Amy Ryan) returns to Scranton to fill in. Also, Jim and Dwight have a snowball fight.

Barbara Walters: Oprah, the Next Chapter (9pm, ABC) - Oprah Winfrey reviews the last 25 years of her life, both personally and professionally, in an interview taped at her home and at Harpo Studios in Chicago. Oprah also discusses her new OWN network and then Barbara makes her cry.

Fringe (9pm, Fox) - A case of a person having his heart removed sets of a sting of bizarre events.

Mentalist (10pm, CBS) - A Santa is murdered (that's a Santa, not the Santa) and the team investigates a Santa society while Jane goes undercover in an Alcoholics Anonymous group.

Also on tonight: Caroline helps Tyler prepare for his first werewolf transformation on 'Vampire Diaries' (8pm, CW), Jack's parents (Elaine Stritch, Alan Alda) visit for Christmas on '30 Rock' (8:30pm, NBC), and 'The Apprentice' (10pm, NBC) ends its dreadful season.

Scared Shrekless (8pm, NBC) - This animated tale in which Shrek (Mike Myers) gets in the Halloween spirit by challenging friends to come up with scary stories for a contest bumps "30 Rock" out of the NBC lineup tonight. In the cartoon, the gang learn that they'll have to spend the night in Lord Farquaad's haunted castle before a contest winner is named. Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas reprise their roles as Princess Fiona and Puss in Boots, but there's no Eddie Murphy. Dean Edwards plays the role of Donkey.

Community (8:30pm, NBC) - The rest of the NBC sitcoms have Halloween episodes tonight. On "Community," a campus Halloween party takes an unusual turn after Pierce and some students ingest a hazardous substance which produces zombie-like symptoms in them. On "The Office," staffers turn overly competitive during a Halloween costume contest (Timothy Olyphant is back). And on "Outsourced," Todd throws a costume party at the office in an attempt to explain Halloween to his Indian coworkers.

Grey's Anatomy (9pm, ABC) - As a TV crew films hospital life six months after the shooting, patient Mary (Mandy Moore) returns for the surgery she was supposed to ahve that day. Also, Cristina has difficulty expressing herself to the crew.

Project Runway (9pm, Lifetime) - The conclusion of the two-part finale reveals the winning designer. Jessica Simpson is the guest judge.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (10pm, FX) - Dee is pregnant and tells the guys that one of them made her that way during a Halloween party that none of them can remember. So they try to piece the evening together "Potemkin"-style, aided by Artemis (Artemis Pebdani) and the McPoyle brothers (Nate Mooney and Jimmi  Simpson).

The Fairy Job Mother (11pm, Lifetime) - A new series in which career specialist Hayley Taylor tries to reshape the lives of families coping with unemployment.

Bones (8pm, Fox) - Brennan makes a deal with a celebrity professor (David Alan Grier) to be her new intern after he inquires about hosting his children's science show from the Jeffersonian. Also, a dismembered corpse is identified as a bounty hunter, and the team find they're not the only ones looking for a fugitive who is wanted for murder.

30 Rock (8:30pm, NBC) - In this episode, performed live, Liz Lemon fumes during show night when the "TGS" gang all forget that it's her 40th birthday. Meanwhile, Tracy concludes that it's hilarious whenever an actor breaks character and laughs, so he does that all night long. And Jack has trouble in his efforts to stop drinking during Avery's pregnancy. The "30 Rock" cast will perform the show live for a second time tonight for the west coast audience.

The Office (9pm, NBC) - Convinced he has herpes, Michael contacts his former girlfriends -- Holly (Amy Ryan), Jan (Melora Hardin), Carol (Nancy Carell), Donna (Amy Pietz), and Helene (Linda Purl). Andy conducts a sex-ed class in the office in a ploy to win over Erin.

The Vanilla Ice Project (9pm, DIY) - A new reality show featuring rapper Vanilla Ice renovating a home in Palm Beach, Florida. A second episode airs at 9:30. Will it be as good at the "Adam Carolla Project" (with the same premise) from a few years ago on TLC.  The review.

Private Practice (10pm, ABC) - Dell's orphaned daughter Betsey (Hailey Sole) arrives, stirring up emotions at the clinic. Also, Pete and Amelia disagree about surgery for a pregnant woman who's experiencing excruciating chronic pain.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (10pm, Bravo) - Same story, different city. Tonight is the first episode.

Big Bang Theory (8pm, CBS) - For Season 4, "Big Bang Theory" moves to a new night and new time (formerly Monday nights at 9pm) where it goes up against "Community." Yikes (for both shows). Tonight, Sheldon goes on his first date ever and it's with Amy Fowler (Mayim Bialik). Somehow, Penny finds herself accompanying them.

Community (8pm, NBC) - In the Season 2 opener, the group reconvene to study for their anthropology class, which is taught by a kooky professor (Betty White, of course). Meanwhile, Senor Chang enrolls at Greendale in hopes of joining the study group.

Bones (8pm, Fox) - Season 6 begins seven months after last season's finale when the Jeffersonian team disbanded. They are called by to Washington when a case involving a case involving the body of an unidentified young boy could cost Cam her job.

My Generation (8pm, ABC) - A contrived new series from ABC in which a film crew revisits a group of high school students in Texas who were the subjects of a documentary style reality show ten years earlier. I urge you not to waste your time.

30 Rock (8:30pm, NBC) - Season 5 has Jack interfering with Liz's blooming romance with Carol (Matt Damon) in an effort to help her finally win a man's heart, and Tracy copes with Kenneth's termination as NBC page.

$#*! My Dad Says (8:30, CBS) - This new show (pronounced "Bleep My Dad Says") is based on a popular Twitter feed chronicling the outrageous observations of one guy's dad. It's a flimsy premise, even if it does star William Shatner. Check out our review.

                           Keep reading for more premieres!

You know why Jim is still cool? He can slip in a wink to the camera while blinking messages in Morse code to Pam to drive Dwight crazy.

And do you know why Dwight is still crazy? He thinks that the best way to prove that Michael's new girlfriend is cheating is by attempting to seduce her at her gym with some inappropriate moaning as he works out his inner thighs on the Cybex machine.

The moral of Thursday's episode, though, is that you don't send Dwight and his skeevy tanktop undercover to solve a mystery that Facebook can unravel in five seconds. That, and don't expect to buy Andy's silence with a $5 Dunkin Donuts gift card.

In honor of Pam's maternity leave, I, too, took an extended break from posting Office recaps.

With Scranton's cutest new mom back at work and fending off Dwight's offers to help pump her breast milk ("Three squeezes and I would drain you."), it's time once again to answer the eternal Dunder Mifflin question: can any of these lonely people find love outside this office building?

This tired, sixth season of The Office has offered few surprises. In Thursday night's episode, though, kudos to unworldly receptionist Erin for growing a spine and slamming her banjo-playing suitor Andy with a cake in the face.