The Middle (8pm, ABC) - Frankie and Mike try to regain control of the Heck family household, but the kids won't go down easy. All of the ABC sitcoms are new tonight.

Human Target (8pm, Fox) - Two new back-to-back episodes tonight. In the first, a rift develops between Ilsa and Chance  when his former girlfriend asks him to rescue a colleague who was kidnapped by a South American despot. Then, an inept private eye (Tony Hale) may have blown his last case unless Winston, Guerrero and Ames can save him.
 
Law & Order: SVU (9pm, NBC) - This is either a two-hour episode or two back-to-back episodes. I do know that the case (or one of the cases) involves a gambling ring and an abused wife, played by Drea de Matteo ("Sopranos").

People's Choice Awards (9pm, CBS) - Queen Latifah hosts the worst awards show of the year.

Top Chef: All-Stars (10pm, Bravo) - In a series first, head judge Tom Colicchio (right) enters the competition, challenging the chefs to beat his time in creating a dish. Then the contestants head to down to Chinatown to serve up dim sum for locals (I love the comment from a diner in the previews describing someone's dish as "caucasian dim sum.").

Miracle Detectives (10pm, OWN) - Cases include a Texas railroad worker who was cut in half by a train in 2006 and survived.

It's time for that staple: the sitcom family!

We offer 'The Middle," the ABC show that takes you to Orson, Indiana into the crazy world of the Hecks. It stars Patricia Heaton and Neil Flynn as the parents of three strange kids, and it's pretty funny.

You'll get three discs with 24 episodes, plus special features of unaired scenes, a gag reel, and the creators talking about the series development.

Maybe you missed the first season, maybe you know someone who is a fan. Either way, you just need to email me by 7 tonight (12/14) and you'll get into a random drawing. If you win, you can screen it for your own weird family on Christmas Day!

Human Target (8pm, Fox) - Chance is forced to contact Baptiste in a Russian prison when he's the only person who may be able to help Ilsa's kidnapped friend.

The Middle (8pm, ABC)- Frankie's parents (Jerry Van Dyke and Marsha Mason) visit for Christmas and suggest the family celebrate the holiday without gifts. It's also Christmas on "Better With You."  Maddie discovers Mia is using her pregnancy as an excuse to opt out of the dreaded family Christmas at their parents' lake house, so Maddie makes up a story of her own to avoid the trip.

Mythbusters (9pm, Discovery) - Adam and Jamie meet President Obama in this reexamination of a myth pertaining to Archimedes' solar death ray weapon, which the Greek scientist is said to have used to set fire to Roman ships during the siege of Syracuse. Hey Adam -- way to wear blue jeans to the White House. Sigh.

Fabulous Beekman Boys (9pm, Planet Green) - The fabulous city-slickers-turned-farmers in a one-hour holiday special featuring reflections on Season 1, behind-the-scenes footage, favorite moments, and a preview of Season 2.

Modern Family (9pm, ABC) - The first school dance for Luke and Manny prompts an eventful trip to the mall for Jay and Phil.

Psych (10pm, USA) - Shawn and Gus enroll in the police academy in order to brush up on police procedure following a reprimand from the SBPD. The training doesn't stick as Chief Vick had planned, however. Ralph Macchio guest stars.

Top Chef All-Stars (10pm, Bravo) - Pop singer Joe Jonas  Joe Jenlists the gourmet contestants to prepare a snack for children on a sleep over at New York's American Museum of Natural History. Season 1 host Katie Lee Joel returns as a guest judge.

The Middle/Better With You/Modern Family/Cougar Town (8pm, ABC) - ABC comedies all have special Halloween episodes tonight. On "The Middle," Frankie and Mike are invited to an adult Halloween party in the neighborhood. On "Better With You" (just picked up for a full season) Maddie is upset that her birthday, which falls on Halloween, is always overshadowed, so Mia and Casey offter to throw her a party. On "Modern Family," Claire's elaborate Halloween plans (evidence at lef) depend on the rest of the family's help with trick-or-treaters, and the holiday conjures up terrible memories for Cameron. On "Cougar Town," Jules reluctantly dons a costume for Halloween when her father (Ken Jenkins, "Scrubs") comes to visit on his favorite holiday.

Undercovers (8pm, NBC) - This show falls under the "watch it while you can" category -- most are expecting it get axed any day now. But for now, you can watch the Blooms try to recover a  painting that's hiding a formula for a biological weapon. Or not.

Criminal Minds (9pm, CBS) - In an especially creepy episode, the team travels to Detroit to catch a killer who, for the past three years, strikes on "Devil's Night," the city's pre-Halloween celebration.

I'd Do Anything (9pm, BBC America) - The premiere of a new series in which hundreds of aspiring stage actors attend open casting calls in London for the lead roles in Andrew Lloyd Webber's West End revival of "Oliver!"

Harry Loves Lisa (10pm, TV Land) - Harry gets some help from Ed Begley Jr. with a a rodent problem, but his preoccupation with the infestation begins to overshadow his upcoming 13th wedding anniversary with Lisa.

Daily Show with Jon Stewart (11pm, Comedy Central) - Stewart is doing his show from DC this week, and tonight's guest is President Barack Obama.

The Middle (8pm, ABC) - The Heck family host a foreign exchange student from Japan and are upset when the student shows absolutely no interest in the family (I know how he feels). 

Modern Familiy (9pm, ABC) - Noticing that everyone is too distracted by their electronic devices to interact with one another, Claire and Phil challenge the family to see who can go unplugged the longest. That has to be extra hard for an early adopter like Phil. Also, Cameron and Mitchell look for preschools for Lily, and Jay and Manny worry about Gloria's obsession with a neighbor's barking dog.

I am Alive: Surviving the Andes Plane Crash (9pm, History) - A 1972 plane crash in the Andes which left 17 survivors stranded for 72 days is recalled by survivor Nando Parrado. Included: survivors' photographs, dramatic re-enactments, and footage from the crash site.

Law & Order: Los Angeles (10pm, NBC) - A meth lab explodes and kills two children, prompting a search for the dealer's family. When the detectives learn that the people responsible for the explosion are plotting something more destructive, the feds become interested in the case.

Terriers (10pm, FX) - Hank and Britt befriend a college student with amnesia who has a nagging suspicion that he has done something wrong. And Britt is worried about Katie, who has suddenly become distant.

Undercovers (8pm, NBC) - The debut of a new show about married former spies (Boris Kodjoe and Gugu Mbatha-Raw) who reenter the world of espionage. Gerald McRaney stars as their handler. Here's our review.

The Middle (8pm, ABC) - In the Season 2 premiere, the show's star Patricia Heaton faces down her former "Everybody Loves Raymond" mother-in-law Doris Roberts, who guest stars as Brick's overprotective new teacher.

Hell's Kitchen (8pm, Fox) - Season 8 opens with 16 alleged chefs who mostly appear to be crazy and who mostly do not appear to know how to cook. Here's more on this season's crazies.

Better With You (8:30pm, ABC) - A new sitcom about three couples from one family, all at different stages in their relationship. We review it here.

Law & Order: SVU (9pm, NBC) - In a special 2-hour 12th-season opener, a 10-year-old girl runs away and is found with a man (Henry Ian Cusick from "Lost") who denies any wrongdoing. Joan Cusack and Peter Strauss (left) also star.

Criminal Minds (9pm, CBS) - The sixth season opens with the team still trying to find the serial killer who is terrorizing Los Angeles and who now has detective Spicer's daugther as his hostage.

Keep reading for many more premieres, including scoop on Jennifer Aniston's guest role on "Cougar Town."

Good Guys (8pm, Fox) - This is the premiere episode of a new show from Matt Nix, the creator of "Burn Notice," starring Bradley Whitford (Josh on "West Wing") and Colin Hanks ("Mad Men," son of Tom) as two mismatched Dallas cops. Whitford's character, Dan Stark, is stuck in the 1980s and resists the more modern crime fighting techniques his partner Jack Bailey pushes. Because of Stark's attitude, and because Bailey corrected a superior's grammar, the duo is relegated to working small cases, such as tonight's Case of the Stolen Humidifier. It's funny and has lots of action. Sounds like a winner.

I Get That A Lot (8pm, CBS) - Celebrities take on ordinary jobs to trick us unsuspecting regular folk. Tonight, Tim Gunn runs the counter at a fast food joint, Martha Stewart works in a craft shop, Wynona Judd poses as a tire store clerk, and Nick Jonas vexes teens in a clothing store.

The Middle (8:30pm, ABC) - The hottest actor in Hollywood guest stars tonight in this sitcom's first season finale. Betty White plays a librarian who threatens to hold Brick back in the 3rd grade because of 31 overdue library books (as well she should!).

Modern Family (9pm, ABC) - In this season finale, Claire tries to organize a family portrait, Jay helps Luke with a school project, and Cameron gets a job as a wedding singer (pure genius!).

Keep reading for more finales, plus a Justin Bieber appearance...

America's Next Top Model (8pm, The CW) - There's a photo shoot on the subway, and judge Andre Leon Talley (Vogue editor and Durham native) harshly criticizes one contestant's outfit.

Human Target (8pm, Fox) - In the first season finale, Chance's former boss (Armand Assante) tries to convince him to come back to his old job, which prompts Chance, Winston, and Guerrero to reminisce about how they all ended up working together.

The Middle (8:30pm, ABC) - Frankie and Mike eliminate their cable TV to cut down on expenses, but miss it more than they thought they would (NO KIDDING!).

American Idol (9pm, Fox) - Two contestants out of the final nine are eliminated tonight, plus last year's runner-up Adam Lambert performs "Whataya Want From Me."

Ugly Betty (10pm, ABC) - In the series finale, Betty tells Daniel about her future plans, Justin and Bobby try to convince Hilda that they should move to Manhattan, Amanda mourns the loss of a loved one, and Marc is discouraged by his romantic prospects.

In Plain Sight (10pm, USA) - A BATF agent whom Mary has been protecting awakens from a three-year coma. Rita Moreno guest stars.

According to The Wrap, ABC is greenlighting freshman comedies "Modern Family," "Cougar Town," and "The Middle" for second seasons.

No indication the network is willing to do the same for the equally deserving (and hilarious) Tuesday night sitcom, "Better Off Ted."

The Middle (8:30pm, ABC) - Patricia Heaton's terminally "awkward" daughter fails yet again. This time she doesn't make the swim team. Brian Doyle-Murray guest stars.

The Bureau (9pm, Investigation Discovery) - In the debut of a new documentary series on one of the Discovery Channel offshoots, "The Bureau" takes viewers inside the 21st-century FBI and tells the stories of its agents. The first episode looks at the FBI investigation of "The Gainesville Ripper" who murdered five University of Florida students in 1990.  The ID channel is 114 on local cable.

Glee (9pm, Fox) - Will challenges the kids to a mash-up showdown, girls versus boys. And the weak link of this show, Will's wife, takes a job as the school nurse so that her pregnancy-faking self can keep an eye on him.