I'm posting this for Adrienne, who dutifully recapped "Amazing Race" on the eve of a week-long vacation.
Leg 7, Botswana and Bates & Anthony leave first. They must drive to a village for the clues.
The guys seem entranced by Africa. Bates says last night instead of counting sheep, he counted lions.
Meanwhile, the Blondes reveal their love for God, noting that He is at the center of their lives. It's starting to looking like a hookup with Bates & Anthony is not going to happen unless they put a ring on it.
On the road, Bates & Anthony get a little lost; when they stop for directions they're told that they should get help finding the village because there's a tricky bend in the road. Anthony confirms that navigation isn't their strong suit; it's a lot easier getting around when they have someone to follow or as he puts it 'cheat off of.'
Their Blondes might feel the same way. They get stopped by the police for speeding. One Blonde is confident she can get them out of it; she's talked her way out of tickets before. But apparently, Botswana is the only country in Race history where blonde hair is not revered. The po-po and the po-po's supervisor ain't going for it. They've got to go to the station and pay a fine. The brunette Derby Moms drive by the scene without so much as a 'hey, you OK?'
It could be worse, the Blondes could be the Newlyweds who can't even find the SUV they're supposed to drive.
While all that's going on, Bates & Anthony manage to find the village and the first clue. It contains a fast forward, which if completed, offers the chance to skip every other task and head to the pit stop. All they have to do is stay upright on a pair of water skis for one mile in crocodile infested water. Bates isn't confident; it seems he's had an unsuccessful water skiing experience. But Bates & Anthony decide to give it a try. "What's the crocodile situation?" Bates asks as they head out into the murky water. Anthony makes the unfortunate remark that to the crocodiles they might be 'Italian sausage.'
Bates struggles to stay up, but he finds his center of balance and stays locked in that position. Bates & Anthony make the mile without getting eaten. They can head to the pit stop. Bates is proud that he stayed upright on the skis, 'plus I got to take my shirt off.' He's offering a little something for the ladies, he believes, but ahem, it's not that much. Sorry, dude.
Later, we're treated to Bates in his drawers relaxing on the boat as they head to the pit stop. "You can't get better scenery than this," he says. 'And Africa is nice too." It's official: Bates is going for a TV show.
After enjoying scenes of wildlife, Bates & Anthony get to the pit stop first. They get $7,500 each. It's their third first place finish of the Race.
Their Blondes aren't so lucky. They get to the police station only to find out the Botswana po po won't take American dollars. One Blondes gives $100 to a stranger to exchange for her and prays that he comes back. He does.
Just after they leave the station, the Newlyweds, finally find their car, get snagged in the Botswana speed trap. This causes Mrs. Newlywed to emasculate her husband; apparently real men can find a car and avoid speeding tickets. She's already called him stupid and gotten him to co-sign on that insult.
So, it's surprising that when they pay their fine and are leaving the police station and Mr. Newlywed backs up and hits a pole, denting the bumper, she doesn't start calling him Susie.
The YouTube stars meanwhile have joined the Blondes in their religious fervor now that they are frustrated from having to use a map rather than a GPS. They are praying to Jesus that they are going the right way, and thank God when they see the Newlyweds. They figure it's a two-person race for last place.
There's a detour; Brains involves a horseback safari where the teams ride past metal cut-outs of animals. They must memorize the order of the animals, then duplicate that order with tins to get the next clue. Brawn involves carrying stacked wood in a donkey drawn cart. The challenge was getting the donkeys to move.
In the end, the detour undermines the Asian Girls. They start at the donkeys and can't get them to move, so they switch to the safari. They keep missing one metal animal cut-out, so they go back to the donkeys. They end up last and they are eliminated.
They won't cry, crying, they say, is for bitches. (Did they just call Quivering Lip Father a bitch?) They saw some cool stuff, went some cool places and going to Africa was a priceless experience.