Survivor: Nicaragua (8pm, CBS) - NaOnka and local girl Kelly Bruno engage in a small war over the hunt for the hidden immunity idol.

Modern Family (9pm, ABC) - When an earthquake strikes, Cameron and Mitchell see a way out of a costume brunch thrown by their friend Pepper, played by Nathan Lane. Also, Claire is trapped in the bathroom with a plumber and Manny undergoes a crisis of existential proportions on an outing with Jay.

Law & Order: Los Angeles (10pm, NBC) - The detectives are on the case after a cult member is stabbed to death. The cult's leader is questioned, along with the victim's cell mate and Det. Winters' wife, Lori. Terrence Howard has DA duty tonight.

Harry Loves Lisa (10pm, TV Land) - The premiere of a new reality series following the lives of married actors Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna. Adrienne has more about the show here.

Steven Seagal Lawman (10pm, A&E) - In the second season opener, Seagal and his team witness a head-on collision and search for a suspect in a double-homicide case.

Terriers (10pm, FX) - What is the best show on TV that you're not watching? This one. The Lindus conspiracy widens around Hank and Britt (left) in tonight's episode, as they have just 24 hours to fix the mess they're in or Mark will no longer be able to protect them (if you watched last week, you know the mess I'm referring to).

Top Chef: Just Desserts (10pm, Bravo) - Forget the challenges, watch to see which pastry chef breaks down in tears tonight. It will happen.

Also tonight, a new season of "Mythbusters" (9pm) starts tonight on Discovery, and new seasons of  "South Park" (10pm) and "Ugly Americans" (10:30pm) begin on Comedy Central. Here's a funny recap of Season 1 of "Ugly Americans."

Ever since Tiger Woods' obsessively crafted family man image went down in flames after the Thanksgiving dinner meltdown from Hell, we've been wondering: What could South Park do with this?

We had to wait until Wednesday night for the foul-mouthed Comedy Central show's 14th season premiere, but it's safe to say that South Park nailed Tiger Woods and almost every other male celebrity caught running around in the last 12 years.

But South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone reserved their most stinging mockery for anyone out there in the media or general public actually astonished that rich, famous men in our society might take advantage of the occasional sexual
fling that their elevated status makes available to them.

I haven't read the "Twilight" series of vampire romance novels. But then, I don't think I'm the target audience for the teen angst chronicles of a 17-year-old girl who falls for the charms of an "impossibly beautiful" teen vamp with alabaster skin and superhuman strength.

I'm guessing the creators of South Park also fail to see the charms of teen draculas for the One Tree Hill audience, given Wednesday night's spoof of the hype surrounding the new movie inspired by the best-selling young adult novels. You know how we know Trey Parker and Matt Stone are making fun of the vampire fad?

Goofy little Butters decides it's cool to be a vampire.

Don't get me wrong. I'm OK with my 10-year-old daughter watching High School Musical and its sequels again and again. We'll take that over any exposure to "My Super Sweet 16," "The Hills" or the new "Knight Rider."

But there has been collateral damage - just try and get "We're All in This Together" and the rest of the HSM singalongs out of your brain after repeat plays at home and in the car stereo. Secondhand smoke never seemed so good.

So when "South Park" took on the Disney phenomenon that is High School Musical Wednesday night, I could empathize with Cartman's dismay over the pop culture phenomenon that has his classmates breaking out into Broadway-style dance numbers with the snap of two fingers.

"If this is what's cool. I'm done," Cartman says. "I no longer have any connection to this world."

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are known for delivering quick turnarounds on current events. Think Elian Gonzalez and the spider-hole capture of Saddam Hussein.

So maybe it's no surprise that the "South Park" creators were poised to deliver an Obama-centric episode less than 24 hours after the Democratic nominee was declared the winner in Tuesday's presidential election. Or maybe they just figured, like Garry Trudeau, that a Barack Obama victory was a safe bet.

Savvier pop culture analysts will have to explain what Trey Parker and Matt Stone were getting at with all those giant guinea pigs (and guinea rabbits, guinea rats and 'killer' bees that were really guinea pigs dressed up in bumblebee costumes a la the Mexican bumblebee guy on 'The Simpsons' ...)

Or maybe we're overthinking "South Park," the perfect antidote of silliness for all the election commercials and infomercials that have overtaken our channels.

Part of the guilty pleasure in watching "South Park" is following the meandering path of whatever metaphor is chosen by creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone to poke fun at the religious, political or pop cultural target of the week.

At least that's what I tell my wife, who stomps out of the room in disgust every time she catches me watching the foul-mouthed cartoon.