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THE NEW FALL SEASON: 'Charlie's Angels'

"Charlie's Angels"
Thursday, 8 p.m. on ABC

The pilot episode ABC made available said "not for review purposes," so this isn't so much a review as it is a warning...

This remake of the 1970s hit (which starred Farrah Fawcett, Kate Jackson, and Jaclyn Smith) sends fresh new angels on complicated "Burn Notice" type missions, but minus any semblance of reality at all. Not that the original "Charlie's Angels" was teeming with realism, but the original at least seemed to recognize it wasn't meant to be taken very seriously. And I would think the goal here, even if not to improve on the original, would be to at least not make it worse.

Between the fashion model glamour and the pounding soundtrack accompanying the Angels' missions, I felt like I was watching a series of clichéd, strung-together music videos. And neither the acting nor the writing is any good, so what you end up with is 45 minutes of mindless eye candy (i.e. hot women fighting in sexy clothes). Shoot, even the formerly paternal Bosley character has been transformed into a tech-savvy hottie (played by Ramon Rodriguez) in this remake, and a total hound dog to boot.

And then there's Minka Kelly (who previously starred in "Friday Night Lights" and The Derek Jeter Story). Minka is very pretty, to be sure, but not exactly known for her fine acting ability. Her performance here won't improve that reputation. At all. I can't stress that enough.

Watch something else.

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