Stephen Colbert made fun of Michael Jordan's new look on last night's "The Colbert Report." Colbert showed a clip of Jordan's new Hanes commercial and pointed out that the basketball star seems to be sporting a Hitler mustache (combined with a soul patch). He even has audio of Charles Barkley weighing in. Very funny.

Joe Ferrell just can't help himself.

He can't let you sit in the audience at some stuffy university event while he drones on and on about some wonderful person's wonderful background.

 "I've sat through too many of these things and been bored to death; Ferrell said recently. "It's like reading the obituaries."

That's why, as the secretary of the faculty at UNC Chapel Hill, Ferrell tries to lighten the mood at commencement, when honorary degrees are bestowed upon notable folks with long resumes, and at University Day, when distinguished alumni awards are given to, um, notable folks with long resumes.

He does so by prefacing the rote biographies of these overachievers with short, pithy, well-thought-out comments that warm up the crowd.

Take his recent University Day introduction of Janie McLawhorn Fouke, a distinguished alumni award winner who has served on an array of advisory boards and professional organizations and is among the world's leaders in biomedical engineering.

"Don't ask Janie Fouke about a glass ceiling for women in engineering," Ferrell intoned in introducing her. "She's standing on the shards."

See photos of Michael Jordan at basketball's Hall of Fame. Staff photos by Robert Willett.

Basketball Hall of Fame Enshrinement From Springfield, Massachusetts (6:30, ESPN) - UNC and Chicago Bulls superstar Michael Jordan is among the 2009 class being enshrined in the Basketball Hall of Fame. Also, David Robinson, John Stockton, C. Vivian Stringer, and Jerry Sloan.

Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - If you missed Thursday night's premiere, you can catch a repeat tonight. Then watch a repeat of the "Melrose Place" premiere from Tuesday night at 9pm. 

Glee (9pm, Fox) - Ditto for "Glee." I'm so glad Fox is showing the "Glee" premiere for a second time. They can't show it too many times for me! If you didn't see it Wednesday, please please watch it tonight. Cheerios coach Jane Lynch (right) is the show stealer.

Monk (9pm, USA) - Jay Mohr guest stars as a defense attorney who gets Monk on the stand and questions his unusual investigative techniques. 

20/20 (10pm, ABC) - LaToya Jackson talks to Barbara Walters. If that's not enough, LaToya will also appear on "The View" on Monday. 

See photos from Michael Jordan's stellar career in the NBA, including his short stint in professional baseball.

See photos from Michael Jordan's college career at UNC and the lasting bonds that formed with the Tar Heels.

Fans, players and coaches enjoyed a star-studded North Carolina Professional Alumni Game at the Smith Center in Chapel Hill Friday night to kick ... more

Add Michael Jordan Lincoln Mercury in Durhamto the growing list of Triangle auto dealers closing for business.

The dealership at 3621 Chapel Hill Blvd. will close at the end of the month, said sales manager Mark Sidney.

Sidney declined to say why the dealership is closing, though it’s no secret that sales for all automakers have been slumping. General Motors and Chrysler are closing hundreds of dealers across the country to cut costs and reduce supply.

While Ford has not followed GM and Chrysler into bankruptcy, sales for the Detroit automaker were down 24.2 percent in May, compared to the same month a year earlier. On the plus side, May’s results were the highest monthly sales figures since July for Ford.

Sidney said the dealership’s eight sales and service employees will mostly transfer to the company’s nearby Nissan dealership. The body shop will remain open as it serviced Nissans in addition to Lincoln and Mercury vehicles.

“It’s a shame, for sure,” he said.

Staff photo by Robert Willett

DETROIT — Since he didn't do it when North Carolina won the 2005 national championship in St. Louis, Michael Jordan doesn't plan to speak to the Tar Heels before they play Michigan State for the NCAA title tonight at Ford Field.

But if he was to talk to them, he said he'd repeat what legendary coach Dean Smith told him before the 1982 national championship game: "Just go out there and have fun. These are the games that are a lot of fun, because the expectations are a lot higher, the craziness is a lot higher, the stakes are a lot higher — but that's what you live for. That's the fun part, so just go out there and be who you are and have fun."

CHAPEL HILL — Sunday was senior day for North Carolina’s Tyler Hansbrough, Danny Green and others, but the loudest cheer in the Dean Dome came during the first half of what turned out to be a 79-71 win over Duke.

The noise wasn’t for anyone wearing a uniform. It was for former UNC star Michael Jordan, who made a rare appearance in the building. Fans cheered wildly when Jordan was introduced during a timeout.