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'Celebrity Apprentice': Gary Busey's kaboy kite dreams

"Gather 'round little kaboys and let me tell you a story. A story of a little girl and a little boy who cooked their father a steak and then gave him a kite on Father's Day..."

No one knows what is really going on in the mind of Gary Busey, but the shimmering bits of his inner churnings that he lets us see are truly fascinating. Who else, when tasked with the job of selling Omaha Steaks, would dream up an overly-complicated narrative involving a grown man shedding tears of joy while he ... flies a kite.

In last night's 'Celebrity Apprentice' we finally got a naked look at Gary Busey being Gary Busey, with his frustrated teammates this time doing nothing to reign him in or save his behind. Meat Loaf, John Rich, and Lil John wanted Busey gone so badly they let him make mistake after mistake after mistake, even if it did look like Meat Loaf might physically die from utter frustration.

'Celebrity Apprentice': The meltdown heard 'round Crazytown

And all along we thought Gary Busey or Star Jones or NeNe Leakes or Jose Canseco was going to be the one to go all postal up in the "Celebrity Apprentice" project room. Nope, turns out it was Meat Loaf who was the first to completely lose it like a Bat Out of Loopyville.

That's just what happened on this week's installment of TV's most addictive guilty pleasure. When Meat Loaf, left, couldn't find his bag of art supplies from Michael's, he threw a temper-tantrum for the ages, accusing an addled Busey of taking them. It took the combined efforts of Mark McGrath, Lil Jon and level-headed project manager John Rich to keep Meat Loaf from killing Busey. (Teammate Richard Hatch basically did nothing to help. That seemed to be his strategy all episode.)

See, Meat Loaf WANTED those paints. He NEEDED those paintbrushes. And THERE AIN'T NO WAY HE WAS EVER GONNA HAVE THEM! But don't be sad, Meat. (Don't be sad ...) Cause Rich found your misplaced bag of craft supplies. Gary didn't take them after all. The angry rocker was left to say "oh, never mind then." Later, he offered a tearful apology to Gary in the season's first scene that made Busey seem like the saner of any two people in the room.

'Celebrity Apprentice': Crazy like a Busey

One of the most-addictive things about the so-bad-it's-great "Celebrity Apprentice" is that the gaggle of crazy folk that Donald Trump has put together this season never cease to surprise.

For example, you would think that the biggest, beefiest, most formerly "juiced" player on the team (that would be you, Jose Canseco) might actually help in moving heavy equipment around. (Nope, not when there's a couch or camping chair nearby for the former baseball player to lounge in.)

You would guess that the absolute worst camper sales person in the world would be spacey LaToya Jackson. (But actually, the CEO of Camping World would like to put LaToya on the payroll. Hmmm, maybe the nation's unemployment problem isn't that bad after all?)

And you would think that someone whose teammates and Trump and the Trump spawn all agree is "a class act" would not be fired. (No, actually you probably would think that. Because "Celebrity Apprentice" and "class act" usually aren't used in the same sentence.

'Celebrity Apprentice': That's not what friends are for.

Let me clear something up right off the bat: This post was conceived by Dionne Warwick and ghostwritten by Star Jones (because I believe in giving credit where credit is due).

And because Star Jones is busy passive-aggressively orchestrating her takeover of the world, this note on last night's "Celebrity Apprentice' will be brief.

Mostly, I need to say this: Dionne Warwick is a rhymes-with-witch.

Holy smokes. And she's the worst kind of rhymes-with-witch: an old one. As NeNe Leakes pointed out on last night's show, you just look bad arguing with a 70-year-old woman, so nobody wants to challenge her. Also, Dionne sits in the boardroom with big boss Donald Trump and smiles sweetly . . .

New 'Celebrity Apprentice' is all kinds of crazy (VIDEO)

The new season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' begins this Sunday on NBC, and after seeing the promos, I know I can't resist this particular batch of CRAZY. Just take a look.

The cast is: Gary Busey, NeNe Leakes, LaToya Jackson, Lisa Rinna, Star Jones, Marlee Matlin, Dionne Warwick, Meat Loaf, David Cassidy, Lil' Jon, Jose Canseco, Mark McGrath, Richard Hatch, John Rich, Nikki Taylor, and Hope Dworaczyk.

'Celebrity Apprentice' airs at 9pm on Sunday night on NBC.

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