"Gather 'round little kaboys and let me tell you a story. A story of a little girl and a little boy who cooked their father a steak and then gave him a kite on Father's Day..."

No one knows what is really going on in the mind of Gary Busey, but the shimmering bits of his inner churnings that he lets us see are truly fascinating. Who else, when tasked with the job of selling Omaha Steaks, would dream up an overly-complicated narrative involving a grown man shedding tears of joy while he ... flies a kite.

In last night's 'Celebrity Apprentice' we finally got a naked look at Gary Busey being Gary Busey, with his frustrated teammates this time doing nothing to reign him in or save his behind. Meat Loaf, John Rich, and Lil John wanted Busey gone so badly they let him make mistake after mistake after mistake, even if it did look like Meat Loaf might physically die from utter frustration.

You can roll your eyes all your want, but I can't stop watching this 'Celebrity Apprentice.' Not only do I watch, but thanks to the unpredictable craziness of Gary Busey, Star Jones, Meat Loaf, and Dionne Warwick, I actually look forward to Sunday nights on NBC. 'Big Love' finale? It can wait. 'Mildred Pierce' premiere? It'll be there tomorrow...

Only four episodes in, this season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' has been downright educational -- and we don't mean the imparted wisdom from Busey's inspirational anagrams. No, the most surprising, though not very useful nugget I've gleaned so far, is that Dionne Warwick is a great big bully. 

One of the most-addictive things about the so-bad-it's-great "Celebrity Apprentice" is that the gaggle of crazy folk that Donald Trump has put together this season never cease to surprise.

For example, you would think that the biggest, beefiest, most formerly "juiced" player on the team (that would be you, Jose Canseco) might actually help in moving heavy equipment around. (Nope, not when there's a couch or camping chair nearby for the former baseball player to lounge in.)

You would guess that the absolute worst camper sales person in the world would be spacey LaToya Jackson. (But actually, the CEO of Camping World would like to put LaToya on the payroll. Hmmm, maybe the nation's unemployment problem isn't that bad after all?)

And you would think that someone whose teammates and Trump and the Trump spawn all agree is "a class act" would not be fired. (No, actually you probably would think that. Because "Celebrity Apprentice" and "class act" usually aren't used in the same sentence.

Let me clear something up right off the bat: This post was conceived by Dionne Warwick and ghostwritten by Star Jones (because I believe in giving credit where credit is due).

And because Star Jones is busy passive-aggressively orchestrating her takeover of the world, this note on last night's "Celebrity Apprentice' will be brief.

Mostly, I need to say this: Dionne Warwick is a rhymes-with-witch.

Holy smokes. And she's the worst kind of rhymes-with-witch: an old one. As NeNe Leakes pointed out on last night's show, you just look bad arguing with a 70-year-old woman, so nobody wants to challenge her. Also, Dionne sits in the boardroom with big boss Donald Trump and smiles sweetly . . .

The new season of 'Celebrity Apprentice' begins this Sunday on NBC, and after seeing the promos, I know I can't resist this particular batch of CRAZY. Just take a look.

The cast is: Gary Busey, NeNe Leakes, LaToya Jackson, Lisa Rinna, Star Jones, Marlee Matlin, Dionne Warwick, Meat Loaf, David Cassidy, Lil' Jon, Jose Canseco, Mark McGrath, Richard Hatch, John Rich, Nikki Taylor, and Hope Dworaczyk.

'Celebrity Apprentice' airs at 9pm on Sunday night on NBC.

One of the consequences of Michael Jackson's death is that his family has regained the spotlight, and like a lot of us, Michael has some crazy folk in his family.

Which brings us to LaToya Jackson.

But before we go there, last night's Video Music Awards on MTV opened with a tribute to the King of Pop, with Janet Jackson. (Kanye West: rude jerk. Beyonce: class act.)

Basketball Hall of Fame Enshrinement From Springfield, Massachusetts (6:30, ESPN) - UNC and Chicago Bulls superstar Michael Jordan is among the 2009 class being enshrined in the Basketball Hall of Fame. Also, David Robinson, John Stockton, C. Vivian Stringer, and Jerry Sloan.

Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - If you missed Thursday night's premiere, you can catch a repeat tonight. Then watch a repeat of the "Melrose Place" premiere from Tuesday night at 9pm. 

Glee (9pm, Fox) - Ditto for "Glee." I'm so glad Fox is showing the "Glee" premiere for a second time. They can't show it too many times for me! If you didn't see it Wednesday, please please watch it tonight. Cheerios coach Jane Lynch (right) is the show stealer.

Monk (9pm, USA) - Jay Mohr guest stars as a defense attorney who gets Monk on the stand and questions his unusual investigative techniques. 

20/20 (10pm, ABC) - LaToya Jackson talks to Barbara Walters. If that's not enough, LaToya will also appear on "The View" on Monday. 

September 14 is shaping up to be a big day for talk shows.

First Oprah announced that on that day, the first new show of the season, her guest will be singer Whitney Houston. Ms. Houston hasn't done an interview in seven years, I believe, since the infamous 'crack is wack' chat with Diane Sawyer. So there's a lot to catch up on.

Now People magazine is reporting that Kate Gosselin will guest host on "The View" on the same day, as well as Sept. 15. She'll sit in for Elisabeth Hasselbeck, who is home with her new baby boy.