Some folks try to gussy up their night-time soaps, aiming to posit them as sophisticated talky modern dramas. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Shonda Rhimes),

Thankfully, the folks who've reignited "Dallas" (9-11 p.m. Wednesday, TNT) didn't go that route. They're giving us straight soap opera -- ridiculous, over-the-top, piling up the plot lines so each episode is fatter than a double-stuffed Oreo. And boy is it fun.

This "Dallas" presents the new generation with the same issues. JR's son John Ross (Josh Henderson) is all grown up, as is Bobby's son Christopher (Jesse Metcalfe). But they're on opposing teams. John Ross secretly discovers oil on Southfork, while Christopher is exploring alternative fuels.

There's nothing at all distinctive or even good about NBC's "The Chase." Sure, it's from Jerry Bruckheimer, but as far as keepers go, it's the Jerry Bruckheimer who brought NBC "E-Ring," not the Jerry Bruckheimer who brought CBS "CSI" and "Without A Trace."

"The Chase" is all action and no brains, a generic procedural about a group of uber-macho US Marshalls in Texas who chase bad guys and kick butt. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but there's just nothing interesting about these particular butt-kicking marshalls.