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Viacom cuts internet access to 'Daily Show,' 'Colbert' and other shows

You know how there's a Viacom blackout on DirecTV and everybody's all, "Oh, I'll just watch on the internet" about it?

Not so fast!

That's what DirecTV was advising customers to do (watch online), so  Viacom cut off internet access to some of the most popular shows on their darkened channels.

Here are the shows you can't watch online: "The Daily Show" and "Colbert Report" (Comedy Central); "Spongebob Squarepants," "Victorious" and "iCarly" (Nickelodeon); "Dora the Explorer" (Nick Jr.); "Jersey Shore" and "Teen Mom" (MTV); and "Hot in Cleveland" (TV Land).

Update: CNN is reporting that DirecTV is giving $10 discounts to subscribers who call and complain about the missing content.

What to Watch on Thursday: 'Community' returns, 'Missing' debuts

Missing (8pm, ABC) - Becca Winstone, played by Ashley Judd, is a former CIA operative who searches for her son when he disappears while studying abroad in Italy. I wish this was better than it is. I really do. Here's my review.

Community (8pm, NBC) - It's back! Andre (Malcolm Jamal Warner) and Shirley plan to remarry, throwing Annie and Britta into wedding-planning mode. Meanwhile, Jeff prepares a wedding speech and Troy and Abed practice acting normal. All NBC comedies are new tonight.

The Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - Damon recalls murders from 1912 that are eerily similar to a present-day crime spree. Meanwhile, Elena and Matt try to prove that Dr. Fell is a killer.

Project Runway All-Stars (9pm, Lifetime) - In part one of the two-part season finale, the final three designers race against time to spin out their signature lines for a red carpet VIP show.

Awake (10pm, NBC) - Michael's parallel realities begin spinning into chaos when his son is kidnapped by an on-the-lam convict who has a connection to Michael's past. In his other dimension, Michael searches for a missing teenage boy. Developments in both worlds cause others to doubt his sanity.

Archer (10pm, FX) - In part one of the Season 3 finale, Archer and his ISIS colleagues boldly go to the final frontier to prevent a catastrophe aboard the International Space Station.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - In the Season 5 finale, Mike starts a rumor about Denna's sister and Pauly and Vinny pull another prank on the roommates.

What to Watch on Thursday: 'Project Runway All Stars' debuts

The Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - Klaus threatens violence unless Stefan returns the coffins containing his family members, but Elena tries to strike a deal with him.

Project Runway All Stars (9pm, Lifetime) - Thirteen fan-favorite designers from past seasons return to compete for new prizes. Supermodel Angela Lindvall hosts and Joanna Cole serves as the mentor. Some of the designers returning are Austin Scarlett, Mondo Guerra, and Kenley Collins. Sounds good, but we're just not sure we can love a "Project Runway" without Tim Gunn.

Grey's Anatomy (9pm, ABC) - As the human wreckage from a serious car crash preoccupies the doctors, Teddy (who is unaware that Henry has died) calls on Cristina to help with a patient.

Louder Than a Bomb (9pm, OWN) - A documentary directed by Jon Siskel profiles four high school poetry teams in Chicago as they gear up to compete in an important youth poetry slam.

24 Hour Catwalk (10pm, Lifetime) - A new series in which four fashion designers attempt to create a collection and stage a runway show in just 24 hours. Note: Tonight's episode is considered a "sneak preview" of the series, which officially premieres on January 10.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - In the Season 5 premiere, the cast returns to Seaside Heights, N.J., and it doesn't take long for old tensions to flare.

"Russian Dolls": The usual drama with a shot of vodka

I guess it's just a coincidence that the intro of "Russian Dolls" (10:30 tonight, Lifetime) features hyphenated-American women in furs walking arm in arm, which is the same way that VH1's "Mob Wives" begins.

And yet, it's kind of perfect because like "Mob Wives," "Russian Dolls" is about corruption; the corruption of values, morals and the American dream.

OK, I don't want to get too heavy; this is meant to be candy not spinach. We know that reality shows of this ilk aren't looking to deliver a serious assessment of a culture, in this case the lives of men and women "who live fully, love passionately and work hard as only they can in Brooklyn’s historic Russian-American neighborhood, Brighton Beach." They are about elevating stereotypes and girl fights. You know, drama.

What to Watch on Thursday: Saving Detroit, ruining Italy

Detroit in Overdrive (8pm, Planet Green) - All three installments tonight in a new three-part documentary series examining efforts to revitalize the city of Detroit. In the first, Kid Rock launches a beer label (Badass Beer) and fashion designer Joe Faris tries to revive the Motor City's garment district. At 9, the show looks at a start-up record label and a famous artist's installation, as well as a high school trumpet player who auditions for a music scholarship. The episode at 10 visits a former auto body plant that houses small businesses and a community of artists.

So You Think You Can Dance (8pm, Fox) - "American Idol" contestant Pia Toscano performs, and two dancers are sent home.

Ultimate Merger (9pm, TV One) - In the Season 2 opener, model Tocarra Jones looks for a mate and meets 12 suitors who try to win her over. Adrienne reviews.

Project Runway (9pm, Lifetime) - The designers must make fashion from items found in a pet store.

Suits (10pm, USA) - Mike takes on Louis' protege during a mock trial, but his conflict with Rachel could hurt his chances of winning. Meanwhile, Harvey works on a merger between two hotel chains, but his past with the opposing counsel complicates matters.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - The new season begins tonight and the bad news for Europe is that it all takes place in Italy. Watch Snooki crash into an Italian police car and get arrested. Watch Ronnie beat on The Situation. Watch me watch "Suits" at 10 p.m. instead...

Louie  (10:30pm, FX) - Louie reflects on his career failures and tries to score concert tickets for his daughter. Comics Dane Cook and Bob Saget play themselves.

Obligatory post on Season 4 of 'Jersey Shore'

"Jersey Shore" returns for its fourth season tomorrow night on MTV (10pm). This season, the gang brings shame to the state of New Jersey while at the same time inflicting great pain on the nation of Italy.

Here's the MTV trailer that'll give you an idea of what to expect from Snooki, The Situation, Ronnie, and the other well-gelled Jersey role models.

What to Watch on Thursday: Scotty's first votes are in on 'Idol'

The Office (8pm, NBC) - NBC has a full night of 'The Office' -- six straight episodes. All repeats.

American Idol (8pm, Fox) - In fact, essentially everything on network TV is a rerun tonight, so you might as well watch the 'American Idol' results show and find out if Scotty McCreery got enough votes to continue his quest. Also tonight, J Lo premieres her new music video, "On the Floor."

The First 48 (9pm, A&E) - Two men are shot in a motel in Charlotte.

Fairly Legal (10pm, USA) - A big client asks Kate (Sarah Shahi) to mediate a simple financial matter, which quickly morphs into a case of identity theft before escalating to an immigration issue where Kate must defend a brave soldier (Christa Vidal) against a rigid Homeland Security prosecutor (Robert Moloney). Belita Moreno and Peter MacNicol also guest star.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - With so little on TV tonight, I guess it won't kill me to mention 'Jersey Shore.' There. I mentioned it. In other Death of Civilization news, Snooki is on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine.

The Bride Was Seven (10pm, Oxygen) - Lisa Ling travels to Ethiopia to report on child marriage, relating the stories of girls and young women who are bravely attempting to avoid being forced into early marriages.

What to Watch on Thursday: Jon Stewart hosts autism fundraiser

Community (8pm, NBC) - Shirley consults Abed when she decides to make a religious film, but the two end up clashing after Abed reveals that he plans to make one too.

30 Rock (8:30pm, NBC) - Jack tries to save Liz and Carol's relationship, and Jenna and Kenneth turn to Kelsey Grammer (appearing as himself) for help.

A Night of Too Many Stars (9pm, Comedy Central) - Jon Stewart hosts this fundraiser for autism charities from New York City's Beacon Theater. Performers include Tina Fey, Steve Carell, Lewis Black, Sarah Silverman, Tracy Morgan, John Oliver, and Jim Gaffigan.

Project Runway (9pm, Lifetime) - In part one of the two-part season finale, Tim Gunn visits the hometowns of the finalists to check the progress on their collections.

CSI (9pm, CBS) - A dead body is discovered beneath piles of garbage inside the house of a woman who is known for hoarding, and she becomes the prime suspect in the case.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - The Season 2 finale ends with a huge fight between Pauly D. and J-Woww.

New "Dancing with the Stars" cast: Gym, tan, laundry ... foxtrot?

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino (left) will be adding a new task to his daily regimen of gym, tan, and laundry: dance lessons.

The "Jersey Shore" lothario has been confirmed by ABC as one of the contestants on the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars," along with former NBA (and UNC) star Rick Fox, NFL quarterback Kurt Warner, singer Michael Bolton, "Brady" mom Florence Henderson, comedian/actress Margaret Cho, singer/actress Brandy, reality actress Audrina Patridge, actress Jennifer Grey, actor/singer(?) David Hasselhoff, rapper Kyle Massey, and daughter-of-famous-person Bristol Palin


What to Watch on Thursday: "Nightline" looks at your brain in love

Rookie Blue (9pm, ABC) - The entire division gets involved in the search for an abducted 9-year-old girl. I've really gotten into this show.

Burn Notice (9pm, USA) - Michael helps the victim of a womanizer's scam, which depleted her life's savings.

Road Trip to Cooperstown (9pm, ESPN) - An inside look at the Baseball Hall of Fame on induction weekend. Features new inductees Andre Dawson and Jon Miller and Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith.

Nightline Prime: Secrets of Your Mind (10pm, ABC) - The first in a four-part series exploring the human brain. The show looks at brain injuries and abnormalities as well as advances in neuroscience. Features neurosurgeon Julian Bailes of the West Virginia University Health Sciences Center and his patients. Tonight's topic is love -- how brain injuries affect feelings of love and a condition that can cause a body to shut down when experiencing love.

Jersey Shore (10pm, MTV) - The girls feel badly about keeping Sammi in the dark regarding Ronnie's bad behavior, so they decide to write her an anonymous letter telling her the whole truth. What could go wrong!?

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