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"The Amazing Race 22": The Mullet shows his dark side

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

It's the eighth leg, and because they won the seventh leg, Bates & Anthony get to leave for Zurich, Switzerland first. Anthony notes how great it has been partnering with his brother Anthony because they didn't get to play hockey together that much when they were young.

Because of the fast forward from last week, when they leave they are so far ahead, no team could possibly catch them without their total collapse. So of course, the plane to Zurich doesn't leave until the next day, ensuring all the teams will be on the same flight.

Our foreshadowing moment comes tonight via the Mullet & Wynona. They say that being on the Race hasn't pulled them apart; after a rough start they are friends, not fussin' and fightin' anymore. We'll see about that.

After the plane, the teams must travel by train to a town; everybody gets on that too. While on board, the Blondes and Bates & Anthony joke about being boyfriends and girlfriends; it's their two-week anniversary. Anthony points out they haven't gotten any action, not even a kiss. Exactly what kind of action do you usually get after two weeks, Anthony?

At the next stop, the teams can't get the clue until the next morning, so all the teams are together again. When they get the clue it says take another train.

That train takes the teams to the base of a mountain and a meeting with a bunch of St. Bernards with those cute little barrels around their necks. The teams have to travel by train with the dogs to the highest railroad station in Europe, deliver the dogs and search for the next clue.

Bates says their dog isn't friendly. Seems St. Bernards are a bit stubborn. The Blondes find that out when they can't get their dog on the train without Anthony's help.

The next clue leads to a roadblock. One team member must climb across a high and very vertical rock wall, pick up the Travelocity gnome and then climb into a window with the gnome. Bates is thrilled; continuing on his quest to get some sort of endorsement deal, he says he loves the gnome and can't wait to be with him.

Just a thought: Bates & Anthony Battaglia, the new Bachelors?

Bates takes on the roadblock, and although he says it's kind of high and the highest he's ever climbed is to change a light bulb, he manages to do the task pretty quickly and Bates & Anthony are in first place. Their reward is the chance to get on another train to get the next clue.

The next clue leads to the switchback, which is a task that's been done on the show before. In this case, it's the infamous cheese-and-the-hill task, the one that left many teams rolling and falling and getting run over by wheels of cheese as the locals laughed.

This time, it could prove even funnier since the hill is covered in slippery snow. The teams must use a sled to transport 200 pounds of cheese (or four wheels) to the bottom of the hill, and then transport it to a shed. While Ms. Newlywed slips and slides and holds up the other teams, Bates & Anthony make it to the top quickly. Guess all that time on ice has been useful. They also come up with the idea of letting the cheese on the sled push them down the hill rather than trying to push the cheese. The method works really well; they get the next clue and head to the pit stop in first place.

It's a hat trick for Bates & Anthony; their third win in a row. This time they win a trip to Bora Bora. Bates is shown wearing a Hurricanes shirt.

While all that was happening, the Mullet is transforming from lovable hairdo to evil mop top. Wynona has moved from words of conciliation to 'Screw him!' because she can't run as fast as the others, putting she and the Mullet 12 seconds behind the other teams (she counted), and the Mullet chiding her to tears as a form of motivation. Later, when Wynona has to cross the rock wall, the Mullet tells her that if something should happen he won't remarry the first month after her death. When Wynona struggles, then makes her way across the wall, he doesn't have praise for her efforts. Instead, after she says she wishes he would say 'good job,' he says "Good job, I'm glad you made it. The kids need a mama." And then, when they are doing the cheese task, he delivers this gem: "I can't do both of these sleds and your ass," which, out of context, can have all sorts of meanings, none of them very nice. It's clear that the one job he didn't have at Walmart was greeter.

To make matters worse, Wynona comes up with the idea to roll the cheese down the hill rather than use the sled. It works well; they finish quickly. And when the YouTube stars get lost on the way to the pit stop, it looks like Wynona & the Mullet are going to steal the last spot.

But the rolling cheese idea is a violation; the rule was the sled had to be used. Wynona & the Mullet get a 30-minute penalty. Then they get eliminated.

The Mullet says he's proud of her and says they are glad to have seen the sites they did. Oh, now he says he's proud. Wynona, it's time to upgrade to a Target man.

"The Amazing Race 22": Bates & Anthony show their firepower

SPOILERS BELOW!!
After the Race producers apologize for offending Vietnam vets on the last leg of the Race, the teams are off to Botswana with the Asian Girls heading out first. At their first stop they must board one of three flights to get to their destination, a national park.

The Newlywed wife reminds us again that she has a PhD, but on the Race she wants to keep it a secret. Apparently she thinks that having a PhD means she's so smart the other Racers will be terrified and intimidated by her brilliance, causing them to rise up against her as if she were a Frankenstein monster.

Bates & Anthony aren't worrying about such matters. They leave fourth, with Anthony revealing that he thought he would spend most of the Race led by the nose by Bates. Instead, it's been a 50-50 partnership.

Or maybe foursome, because Bates & Anthony squarely have their eyes on the Blondes. And it seems the Blondes share that affection. One of them admits she's crushing on Bates. There's a bit of a mind meld among them as well. When the teams get the first clue, they are supposed to figure out they are going to Botswana. Most teams use the Internet. Both Bates & Anthony and the Blondes are certain they are going to Kenya.

Once again, although Bates & Anthony are the fourth team to leave, they arrive like fifth or sixth to the travel agency. What's going on?

No matter: By the time the teams get off the first plane to get on the second flight to the national park, Bates & Anthony are booked on the first flight along with the Blondes. Clearly, they are swifter on their feet than in any form of transportation.

Anthony is hopping for hand holding with the Blondes on the way to the national park, but he promptly loses some manhood points by whimpering on the puddle jumper plane.

Next up, a road block. The teams must work with three Kalahari bushmen and dig for a scorpion and then put the scorpion in a jar. Bates takes the challenge. On the way to look for scorpion holes, Bates talks about being scared about running into a lion, which seems silly until we watch the Blondes run into a lion. When one of the bushmen runs up the tree, the Blondes don't join him. Clearly the bushman was thinking that he didn't have to be faster than the lion, he just had to be faster than the Blondes.

Bates and his bushmen find a hole and Bates bravely digs with his hand despite the fact that there's a scorpion down there. When the scorpion is uncovered, he touches it gamely, even getting a pinch. Naturally, he wishes the pinch was from one of the Blondes instead.

With that, Bates & Anthony are in first place. Next, they must load up the bushmen in their SUV and head for the next clues. Bates tries to get the bushman to sing as they ride, but the tune he hummed was clearly self-penned and unrecognizable to the bushmen (and us viewers).

Time for a detour. Fire involves making a fire with two sticks, elephant poo and grass. Once the fire was stoked, it has to be used to light an elder's pipe to get the next clue. Fowl involves setting a trap used for hunting guinea fowl. When the trap is completed, teams must pretend to be guinea fowl and trip the trap to earn the clue.

Like most of the teams, Bates & Anthony choose fire, perhaps because a)they've watched too many movies that make starting a fire with two sticks seem easy or b)because they think the two sticks are matchsticks. Yet while the other teams struggle, Bates & Anthony actually get a fire started (Bates notes the effectiveness of quality elephant poo) and head to the pit stop.

They've got another first place win and earn a trip to Thailand. Bates & Anthony feel they are getting stronger after struggling a bit. Bates says it's mostly their body odor that's getting stronger. We'll call it the funk of champions.

Meanwhile, unable to start fires, the Blondes, the YouTube stars and the Derby Moms switch to the fowl task. The Newlyweds decide to stick it out a little longer. At the fowl detour, the teams meet up with the Asian Girls and the Mullet & Wynona. After coming in last last week, the Mullet & Wynona are in a bad space mentally. They feel older and slower than the other teams and they sound many notes of defeat.

But it turns out the Mullet has a secret history -- secret even to Wynona who quotes like Scripture all his skills in every episode -- of building traps. That ability lands them in third place at the pit stop, a nice recovery. Are you starting to think that the Mullet is actually some kind of countrified James Bond?

In the end, it's a foot race between the Newlyweds and the Derby Moms. The Derby Moms win. But lucky for the Newlyweds, it's a non-elimination round. They'll face a speed bump next leg. Mr. Newlywed says they made some stupid decisions, which seems odd since he has a PhD on his side. Hmm. But worse, after Mrs. Newlywed says staying in the Race means the honeymoon continues, Mr. Newlywed tells us the tent will be rocking tonight. I don't have a PhD, but I can tell you that's more that I wanted to know.

"The Amazing Race 22": The devil is in the details

BEWARE!! SPOILERS BELOW!!

It's Leg 3 and we're at the Pit stop and Quivering Lip Father & his Son have a decision to make. Will they go on despite Quivering Lip Father's bad leg?

There's barely a breath before they decide to stick it out. I mean, all they have to do is come in first and everything is fine. No problem.

Bates & Anthony reach the non-pit stop third. Next stop: Bali.

Bates & Anthony head to the airport instead of stopping at a travel agency to book a flight to Bali. This puts them behind. They end up with a flight that arrives at 12:05 instead of 8:30 a.m. The good news is four other teams get that flight too.

The bad news is, on a layover, two of those four team get a flight that will get them to Bali at 10. So Bates & Anthony are suddenly on the road to last place.

Retrieving the first clue involves getting a monkey to crack a coconut that contains the clue. During the course of this, we learn that one of the Blondes had a flying monkey who died of loneliness because he lived in her bra. We're not sure if this is a crack on her boobs or the lack thereof, but the Blonde telling the story assures us it's a 'true fact,' rather than one of those pesky false facts.

Detour: Sandy Bottom involves collecting sand at the bottom of a body of water and then transporting it 200 yards to a brick maker. The sand must reach a line in the collection basket to get the clue. Fruity Top involves building a religious offering made of fruit, accompanying it through a procession, and then getting it blessed by a priest to get the clue.

Bates & Anthony finally arrive in Bali. They are hopeful, they proclaim their driver 'super!' (even better, 'supa!'). This is one of the first foreshadows of the night because it turns out their super driver has no idea where he's going. They will be last to get to the monkey. Bates puts down the coconut for the monkey and the monkey promptly runs away. When they finally get the clue, they hope to do Sandy Bottom but their super cabbie only knows the way to Fruity Top. Fruity Top it is.

The next foreshadow happens with the Dating Couple. Mr. Dating Couple talks about how detail-oriented he and his gal are. Naturally, when they go for the Fruity Top detour, they end up at the wrong address, building a shrine for some guy in his backyard.

The front runners have built their fruity shrines and the next clue sends them to find a surfboard with an image of 'something they've encountered on the Race.' That something is an image of the Tahitian priest who blessed them at the last pit stop. If you pick the wrong surf board, you have to go back. It's not an easy return; there are lots of steps, twists and turns and it's hot.

But even hopping with a boot, Quivering Lip Father & Son come in first. Son is actually in second place, after the Asian Girls, but the Asian Girl can't find the pit stop. She walks by Son and he sees which surfboard she has and just copies her, then beats her to the pit stop. Quivering Lip Father & Son get $5000 each. Father's lip doesn't quiver, but he does get teary.

Bates & Anthony are at Fruity Top, along with, among others, the Dating Couple. The Dating Couple use their detail-oriented ability to completely botch the shrine, albeit in a very specific way. Remember they have the Express Pass; Ms. Dating Couple wants to use it. But Mr. Dating Couple thinks they just need to slow down and take a breath and all will be OK. "I'm not thinking about the Express Pass," he declares. He's not kidding. They decide to switch to the Sandy Bottom detour, although that works against their expertise in details.

Bates & Anthony build their shrine and head to the surfboards. Bates has the right surfboard in his hand, but dismisses it. Eventually, he goes back to it, but runs past the steps that lead to Phil. Up and down and down and up he goes. Eventually, right board in hand, Bates & Anthony come in 7th place.

We learn that this extended leg has been a four-day odyssey, which explains why folks start breaking down. When the Blondes can't get the right surfboard, one sits down and has a cry, despite the edit that shows the Roller Derby Moms saying there's no crying on the Race. (They're talking to you Quivering Lip Father!)

But the biggest breakdown happens to the Dating Couple. On the way to the Sandy Bottom, they decide that if they see the Roller Derby Moms, they'll decide how far back they are and whether they should use their Express Pass. But the Roller Derby Moms are gone when they get to Sandy Bottom, so they can't make an assessment.

They finish and arrive at the surfboard area. It's between the Dating Couple and the Mullet & Wynona. The Mullet gets the board and that leaves the Dating Couple last. Although they know they are behind, Mr. Dating Couple still doesn't want to use the Express Pass. "I want to be smart."

The Mullet & Wynona check in to the pit stop.

The next thing you know it's dark and Mr. Dating Couple has on one of those flashlight head bands and he's still looking for the surfboard. He seems to have gone to a special place mentally, a detached place where all that matters is being detailed and smart and focused, the fact that you've clearly lost be damned. We will finish in an orderly and dignified manner, his crazed smile seems to express.

It takes more than an hour, but he finally gets the right board and they check in. Thankfully, they are eliminated because I don't think a non-elimination would have been healthy.

Phil cruelly rubs in the fact that they are the only team, in the history of the Race, who has ever been eliminated with an Express Pass. The fact that the Express Pass is what, five Races old of 22 Races matters not. What they've done is HISTORIC.

Mr. Dating Couple, now fully in the midst of a slow-motion nervous breakdown, takes it as a compliment. They've done something HISTORIC! And by the way, he adds, he has no regrets. They don't really need a million dollars anyway, he says. And you know what, he says through clenched teeth with finger jabbing into Phil's chest, if you guys were being honest, you'd call this the Pretty Good Race because it wasn't all that amazing. (OK, we just wish that had happened.)

Phil breaks the fourth wall, looks into the camera and says 'Oh Vey.' We feel you, Phil.

Ms. Dating Couple is silent at the line, but later reveals that she has regrets (EXPRESS PASS! WE HAD THE FRIGGIN' EXPRESS PASS!) and there's a subtext to her statement that could lead one to believe she might have liked to have that million dollars.

I see a break up.

Pace picking up for Canes players at RCI

As the NHL appears to be slowly creeping toward a labor agreement in New York, the pace is picking up for some of the Hurricanes players in Raleigh.

While it was a small group of Canes that skated Wednesday at Raleigh Center Ice, there appeared to be more energy, more drive, more urgency. Canes captain Eric Staal also said the group would rent ice at RCI Thursday and Friday this week -- a change in the players' usual Monday-Wednesday-Friday routine during the lockout.

If a CBA can be signed and a 52- or 48-game schedule played, it will create a number of challenges for the players, especially those who have stayed put and had no game action. The Canes' Jiri Tlusty has been playing in the Czech Republic. Justin Faulk has been in Charlotte with the Checkers. But for some, it has just been ice time at RCI or other rinks.

"It's going to be tougher for guys who have not played in games and stuff," defenseman Joe Corvo said Wednesday at RCI. "The guys playing overseas or in the minors will be up to game speed and will have their lungs and everything. It will be a little bit slower for us to try and pull it together."

Jokinen returns after getting taste of hockey

Jussi Jokinen is back from Finland, back to skating with some of his Canes teammates at Raleigh Center Ice.

Jokinen has some stories to tell, too. Unlike the other guys at RCI, he's actually played some professional hockey games this season.

"Obviously this whole (NHL) situation is unfortunate," Jokinen said today. "When I was pretty sure it was going to be a lockout, I was obviously hoping it would be really quick (before it was resolved). I wanted to go somewhere and play and be as ready as I can if the league was to start. I was hoping it would start sometime in October, but that's not the case."

Lightning 4, Canes 3 (OT)

RALEIGH -- Overtime losses have been killers for the Carolina Hurricanes this season, but the Canes were really seeing red after an OT loss to Tampa Bay on Saturday.

The Lightning won 4-3 on a power-play score by Steven Stamkos, who had two goals in the game and now has a league-high 47. But the Canes and their fans at the RBC Center were enraged by a penalty called on Brandon Sutter in overtime.

Sutter was crashing the net when he appeared to be shoved from behind by Stamkos. Sutter tried to hop over goalie Mathieu Garon but fell into him, drawing a roughing penalty at 1:05 of OT.

"I couldn't get out the way," Sutter said. "I just tried to go to the net and obviously the goalie was out pretty far out of his crease and I got pushed in.

"There's no question I hit the goalie, I ran into him. There's contact there. Like I said, I was clearly pushed into him. Terrible call."

Lacking fire, Blue Devils doused by Hurricanes

DURHAM -- Over the last week or two, one can tell how frustrated Mike Krzyzewski is with his team by the number of times he raps his knuckles against the table during his post-game press conference.

After Miami surprised Duke 78-74 in overtime on Sunday afternoon for the Blue Devils' second straight ACC loss at home, it was suggested Duke takes winning at Cameron Indoor Stadium for granted. Krzyzewski didn’t disagree with the assessment, although he wondered how that could be the case since he regularly implores his team to guard against complacency.

“I’m with them all the time," Krzyzewski said. "They should listen, and they did not. That’s not good.”

Canes 5, Lightning 2

TAMPA, Fla. -- The Carolina Hurricanes made quick work of the Tampa Bay Lightning on Thursday night.

The Canes scored four times in the first period in taking a 5-2 victory at Tampa Bay Times Forum. Jiri Tlusty scored twice, and Tuomo Ruutu and Jay Harrison each had a goal in the opening period.

Eric Staal had three assists in the most impressive first period -- perhaps any period -- by the Canes this season.

"In the first period we were aggressive, we were on the attack," Staal said. "We were rewarded with some opportunities and cashed in. We tried to get (Tlusty) that third one but it was a good effort by our line and a good road with for us.

Skinner cleared for contact, nears return for Canes

The Carolina Hurricanes have been without Jeff Skinner for 14 games.

They have missed Skinner’s goals, his offensive creativity. They’ve missed him on the power play, missed having him in crunch situations in games.

The Hurricanes would like to get Skinner back for Thursday night's game against Tampa Bay (7:30 p.m., FSCR), but his first game back is more likely to come after a few more contact practices, possibly Sunday on the road against the Washington Capitals

Penguins 3, Canes 2

RALEIGH -- Jussi Jokinen could see nothing but net. An open net.

With the Carolina Hurricanes trailing the Pittsburgh Penguins 3-2 in the final seconds Saturday, Jokinen had a clear shot from the left of the net to tie the score. But Pens goalie Brent Johnson threw out his pad and got the puck with his toe, barely keeping it from crossing the goal line.

The Pens held on for the victory, handing Kirk Muller his third loss as the Canes' new coach and stretching Carolina winless streak to six games.

"Obviously it's very frustrating," Jokinen said. "You can't deny that. It has been really tough. But there's nothing you can do. You can't change the past, just (look) to the future. It's never too late to turn around the season."

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