Chuck (8pm, NBC) - Chuck (Zachary Levi, left) has alarming nightmares that indicate perhaps the intersect in his brain is malfunctioning. Or maybe he's crazy. General Beckman orders Chuck to see a CIA psychologist (Christopher Lloyd). Also, Anna returns to the Buy More and reaches out to Morgan. 

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - The gang crashes an upscale Manhattan party attended by prominent intellectuals and Ted shows off his brainy side. Arianna Huffington, Peter Bogdanovich, and New York Times crossword puzzle editor Will Shortz have cameos.

House (8pm, Fox) - Andre Braugher returns as the psychologist who treated House when he was committed to rehab, and House tells him about a patient who showed up at the hospital with an unknown illness and no memory of who she is.

Castle (10pm, ABC) - Castle and Det. Demming vie for Beckett's attention (and affection) while they try to solve a robbery-homicide case.

Nurse Jackie (10pm, Showtime) - When Fiona shows up at school with a cast on her arm and stitches on her mouth, her teacher becomes suspicious and questions Jackie (Edie Falco, right). Also, Harvey Fierstein stars as a man who has a hard time letting go of his dying husband. 

Chuck (8pm, NBC) - Chuck and Sarah are trained by a married CIA team, played byFred Willard and Swoosie Kurtz, who have an amazing record but despise each other (complete with an homage to "Hart to Hart"). Meanwhile, Casey trains Morgan.

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - Ted and Barney fight over Robin, both claiming they love her, and Robin realizes she's over them both. Also, Marshall and Lily decide to get twin beds.

Big Bang Theory (9pm, CBS) - BBT airs a half hour early tonight, so heads up. Sheldon lies to Leonard and Penny about whose side he's on after their breakup.

Law & Order (10pm, NBC) - Lt. Anita Van Buren faces health setbacks. I fear the L&O writers are building up to the departure of S. Epatha Merkerson from the show. 

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (10pm, Bravo) - The second season of table-flipping begins tonight, and the Jersey women are still hating hard on Danielle, the absolute most gangsta housewife in Bravo history.

House (8pm, Fox) - In a Hugh Laurie-directed episode, the hospital goes on lockdown after a newborn goes missing from the nursery, giving House and his trapped staff  time to reflect on their past, relationships, and regrets. 

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - CBS comedies are back with new episodes tonight, and on HIMYM, Marshall gets mugged and tries to convince Lily that they don't need to buy a gun.

24 (9pm, Fox) - Gregory Itzin returns as President Charles Logan (guess he didn't die from that stab wound after all...) and insinuates himself into President Taylor's peace negotiations. 

Big Bang Theory (9:30pm, CBS) - Sheldon's enemy Will Wheaton returns (as himself) to challenge Sheldon to a bowling match. Leonard and Penny have an argument that threatens their relationship.

Castle (10pm, ABC) - "Dancing with the Stars" host Tom Bergeron guest stars as a talk show hosts who dies hours after warning Castle about his impending fate. Castle must then convince Beckett that the host's death wasn't from natural causes.

Emmy-winning Kinston native and former "My Name is Earl" star Jaime Pressly has signed on to do a new sitcom pilot for CBS.

The pilot isn't yet named, but it's from Carter Bays and Craig Thomas, the creators of the very funny "How I Met Your Mother," which is also on CBS. The sitcom will focus on a young unmarried couple (Tommy and Gina) and their friends in Pittsburgh.

According to TV Guide, Pressly will play a veterinarian who works with Tommy (Kyle Bornheimer from "Worst Week") at the zoo. Not only does the sitcom have Bays and Thomas going for it, it's also being co-written by two writers from "HIMYM." 

Pressly won the Emmy for playing Joy Farrah Darville Hickey Turner on "Earl" in 2007, and got great reviews for her part in the 2009 bromance comedy, "I Love You Man." 

Dancing with the Stars (8pm, ABC) - The new cast is introduced tonight, along with their professional partners. The eleven couples perform either the Viennese Waltz or the cha-cha. That's Kate Gosselin on the left. Is she wearing a wig?

Chuck (8pm, NBC) - Chuck's future as a spy rests on one final test mission in which he's called upon to terminate his target.

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - Ted wrecks Lily's birthday party by bringing the heiress to the Massengill fortune along as his date. That's right, Laura Prepon guest stars.

Law & Order (10pm, NBC) - Four cops are shot and by the time the case gets to trial, the police force is pitted against the prosecution. 

Castle (10pm, ABC) - In part one of a two-parter, Beckett and Castle work with a federal agent to track down a crafty serial killer. Dana Delaney guest stars, making it reunion time with her "Desperate Housewives" husband Nathan Fillion (remember how they wasted him on that show??). 

Nurse Jackie (10pm, Showtime) - The hilarious "Nurse Jackie" is back for Season Two. Read all about it. The second season of "The United States of Tara" (starring Toni Collette) follows at 10:30.

Life Unexpected (8pm, CW) - In an effort to make sure we are never again able to watch this show, The CW moved it to Monday nights at 8pm, where people might also want to watch "House," or "Chuck," or "How I Met Your Mother" (all of which have new episodes this week, plus there's that crazy "Bachelor Wedding" on ABC).  

Chuck (8pm, NBC) - Speaking of Chuck, he loses his ability to "flash" and is banned from missions. Brandon Routh is still around as Agent Shaw.

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - The HIMYM guest star du jour is Jennifer Lopez.

The Bachelor: Jason and Molly's Wedding (8pm, ABC) - Gross.

Big Bang Theory (9:30pm, CBS) - The guys go to a garage sale and discover a friendship-threatening ring from "The Lord of the Rings" movie. 

Castle (10pm, ABC) - A woman is found dead hanging from bondage cuffs and covered in caramel sauce. Sticky.

Damages (10pm, FX) - Finally, Ellen has to choose between her boss at the DA's office, and Patty Hewes.

The Bachelor (8pm, ABC) - In the finale, Jake must choose between the two remaining women -- or not (it's a good bet that he will pick neither). He's left with Tenley (who has ex-husband issues) and Vienna (who has daddy issues). Run, Jake! The new crew of "Dancing with the Stars" will be announced during the show, so there's that. And at 10pm, there's "After the Final Rose," which will introduce the new "Bachelorette" (worst kept secret in the world: it's Ali).

Chuck (8pm, NBC) - "Chuck" has been fantastic this season, but
the last episode turned things upside down a little bit. So tonight, in addition to Chuck's new spy assignment, we'll get to see him try to date Hannah (Stacy Keibler Kristin Kreuk) while Sarah tries not to date Agent Shaw (Brandon Routh). 

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - CBS comedies are back from their Olympic-rerun-hiatus and they're still churning out celebrity guest stars. Tonight, on HIMYM, the gang thinks Ted is being strung along by a new woman, played by Carrie Underwood. On "Two and a Half Men," Charlie returns from Vegas with his new wife, but it's not Chelsea. Look for Stacy Keach and John Amos. On "Big Bang Theory," Sheldon misses a chance to meet comics mogul Stan Lee, who makes a cameo appearance, but misses seeing him because of Penny.

Law & Order (9pm, NBC) - NBC burns two back-to-back new episodes of "Law & Order," as they take their first stab at filling the "Jay Leno Show" 10pm void. 

Damages (10pm, FX) - Patty is under pressure to make progress on the Tobin case, so she strikes a surprising bargain. Also, Tom's financial pressures (i.e. "financial ruin") begin to get to him.

Monday night's "How I Met Your Mother" offered some helpful, albeit obvious, relationship advice for married men.

If your new work buddy is a woman, immediately correct your wife if she automatically assumes said work buddy is a guy. And definitely don't let that misconception linger if said work buddy is Amanda Peet hot.

For the first episode in several weeks, Neil Patrick Harris doesn't overshadow his fellow cast members with Barney's over-the-top exploits, giving the rest of the cast a chance to carry the show.

No more Broadway song-and-dance finales here for Barney, as in last week's episode, but was anyone really looking for one? One "Glee" is enough.

Chuck (8pm, NBC) - Awesome is mistaken for a super spy by the evil Sydney Price (Angie Harmon) so Chuck must become his handler and show him the ropes. Brandon Routh ("Superman Returns") also guest stars.

24 (8pm, Fox) - Another two hours of Jack saving the world. 

Antiques Roadshow (8pm, UNC-TV) - The conclusion of the Raleigh episodes. The crew visits the Museum of the Cape Fear in Fayetteville, and highlights Civil War-era weapons that were made in North Carolina. Look for items related to Martin Luther King Jr.'s 1966 visit to Durham.

How I Met Your Mother (8pm, CBS) - Marshall tries to convince Lily that a beautiful woman (Amanda Peet) kissed him. Robin learns she's the subject of a drinking game.

Life Unexpected (9pm, CW) - A great new series from The CW about a young girl in foster care who tracks down her birth parents hoping she can get emancipated and live on her own. 

Big Bang Theory (9:30pm, CBS) - When Leonard and Sheldon's apartment is robbed, they create an elaborate security system.

A hundred episodes into "How I Met Your Mother," and we're finally granted a glimpse of the mother of Ted's future children. A glimpse of her foot, that is, as she exits stage left. (You're such a tease, Ted.)

More importantly, though, the show marked the 100-episode milestone Monday night with the cameo trifecta of Tim Gunn, Rachel Bilson and Stacey Keibler's legs, as well as Barney's song-and-dance tribute to his closet of tailored, Italian suits. 

Note to fans of "500 Days of Summer": consider Neil Patrick Harris' Broadway-style extravaganza a superior version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt's overly celebrated "I just got lucky with Zooey Deschanel" dance number in that movie. I love Hall and Oates revivals as much as the next child of the 1980s, but Harris is the true song-and-dance man.