Even Christie Brinkley wears Spanx.

That's the most illuminating thing I got from "The Talk." Brinkley was the first guest on the premiere episode on the CBS afternoon talk show. Geared toward moms, it's hosted by Julie Chen, Holly Robinson Peete, Leah Remini, Sara Gilbert and Sharon Osbourne. Marissa Jaret Winkour was on there too, but it seems like she's going to be a roving correspondent.

I could give you the recap, but that's not what you want to know. You want to know if it is just a "View" rip-off. Kinda. It's hosted by women.

Other than that, it's not like "The View" because it's toothless, deliberately, I think. Because, you know, it's just about being a mom. 

Feeling a little like the only person in the world watching and blogging about "Celebrity Apprentice" here on "Lost" night, but someone has to tell the world if the job goes to Holly Robinson Peete or if Bret Michaels can rock it just a little bit harder than that.

To start the show, Trump, respledent in his fake orange tan, enters in a long black overcoat that looks almost like a cape with the wind machines going.

After a short recap, the show picks right up where last week's ended -- Bret searching frantically for a dolly track for his Snapple commercial. Sadly, no dolly track. But Bret has an idea to strap a stool onto a cart and shoot that way.

"I'm a problem solver," he says. "A rock n' roll McGuyver."

Happiness has gotten into "The Celebrity Apprentice" (NBC, 9 tonight)
and last week's episode had us talking about who was the was the worst offender on the let's-beat-up-on-Cyndi-Lauper bandwagon.

Let's look at the candidates:

Michael Johnson, the Olympian who thinks good leadership means not listening to anyone and going with your gut, even if you don't know what the heck you're talking about.

As long as you take responsibility for your foolishness, it seems, you're OK. And Donald Trump seemed to co-sign that definition.

Worse, when Lauper tried to explain why Johnson's failed advertorial didn't work, he rudely cut her off using the words of the next candidate...

From watching the first, very fun episode (NBC, 9 tonight)

Rod Blagojevich: The former disgraced Illinois governor adds an interesting element; someone all the celebrities can feel a little superior about. After all, a druggie celebrity is not as bad as a crooked politician. Blagojevich is in it to clear his name (his NBC bio says he was "hijacked" from office) and also to show us he's a good guy. We'll see. Plus his hair trumps Donald's.

Cyndi Lauper: Not a mean bone in her body. A spacey charmer. Love her.

Rosie vs. The Donald: That feud that started when Rosie O'Donnell was on "The View"? Real and not over.

Holly Robinson Peete: Maybe not as intimidating as her husband, former Carolina Panthers QB Rodney, but probably tougher. This is the woman who once knocked down Robin Givens for talking about her mother.

Sinbad: The show's Greek chorus. Look for him to give clarity, even if it isn't needed.