"Once Upon a Time"
Sundays at 8 p.m. on ABC

Okay, the premise of this new show is going to sound crazy, but bear with me.

Imagine all of the characters we know from fairytales once lived in their own magical world, until one day an evil queen placed a curse that trapped them in another world -- a world in which time for them stood still, and their happy endings were stolen.

Our world. A small town in present day Maine, to be exact.

"Once Upon a Time" bridges those two worlds with an adorable little boy named Henry (Jared Gilmore, who played poor Bobby Draper in "Mad Men") who seeks to rescue those magical characters and return them to their happy endings.

"Last Man Standing"
8 p.m., ABC

I have got great news for everyone who has missed Tim Allen and corny laughtrack comedies.

ABC's "Last Man Standing" is a lot like the 90s sitcom "Home Improvement," except now Allen can say "balls" and "frickin'" on television. And instead of hosting a home improvement TV show, this time Allen is a male chauvinist executive at an outdoorsman supply company. Also, instead of sons he has daughters (and a baby grandson), and he's married to Nancy Travis. Hector Elizondo is his boss.

And the writing is horrid.

That's kind of it. The pilot has big laughs like this: When Allen doesn't like the "hippy" daycare his daughter takes her son Boyd to, the daughter counters that the school teaches him sensitivity and tolerance.

Allen: "You know how that ends up. Boyd dancing on a float." (Picture flamboyant arm-waving).
Daughter: "And what would be so wrong with that?"
Allen: "The only time men should be dancing is when other men are shooting at their feet."

Nice.

There's a demographic that might enjoy this. I am not in it.

UPDATE: This is interesting. The two advance episodes I watched had these weird silent moments after "jokes" that were obviously supposed to be filled with laughter from a studio audience, but there was no laughter. So I assumed it was NOT filmed before a studio audience, but on a closed set, and that they planned to electronically add canned laughter in later (I know that's cheating, but shows do it). This Washington Post review indicates the show was filmed before a studio audience -- an audience who obviously agree with everyone else that this stuff isn't funny. I'm guessing they'll be adding that canned laughter to the episodes that air tonight.

Too bad you can't copyright ideas because Neil Simon would be even richer. "How To Be a Gentleman" (8:30 tonight, CBS), is basically "The Odd Couple" but odder and not as funny.

Andrew (David Hornsby) plays a refined columnist told to tweak his etiquette column; an old and more rough-hewn classmate (Kevin Dillon) ends up helping him learn a different style of manhood. And Andrew teaches the rough guy a thing or two. (Mary-Lynn Rajskub is wasted in her role as Andrew's sister.)

This didn't click with me at all. It's like "According to Jim"; one of those shows you keep on until the show you really want to watch comes on.

Suburgatory
Wednesday, 8:30 p.m. on ABC

This is a great one. A dad (Jeremy Sisto) finds condoms in his daughter's room so he freaks out and moves her from Manhattan to the suburbs.

"Suburgatory" is darkly hilarious -- the kind of  irreverent humor that I adore, but tucked inside the kind of smart sitcom I can't imagine making it in this cruel "Two and a Half Men"-loving world. Jane Levy is perfect as the daughter, and the dialogue (especially hers) is super sharp.

I love this sitcom. I will watch the fool out of this sitcom. I encourage/beg you to do the same.

Cheryl Hines and Ana Gasteyer are great as neighbor moms. Also stars Alan Tudyk and Chris Parnell.

In "Hart of Dixie" (9 tonight, CW) Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson) wants to be a big-time New York doctor like her dad, and is on the fast track to her goal. But Hart is cold-hearted, (get it?!) and on TV that means she needs to get some humility -- pronto.

Zoe's trip to being a better person begins with her accepting a mysterious offer to join a small-town Southern practice. She rolls into town in high heels and a Chanel jacket, of course, to show just how much she does not belong with these fine simple people who will eventually transform her. While the Southerness often goes over the top,  the fish-out-of-water, romance vibe (yes, of course, there's a cute guy waiting there!) is kinda sweet, if not awfully original.

The pilot was shot in Wilmington, so look for familiar sites. (Production has since moved to L.A.)

Terra Nova
Monday, 8 p.m. on Fox

I'm not usually much for futuristic stories or dinosaurs, so "Terra Nova" is exactly the kind of show I shouldn't like, even if it is executive-produced by Steven Spielberg.

But. This has Jason O'Mara ("Life on Mars") who is irresistible, and the show's two-hour pilot is pretty exciting.

"Terra Nova" begins at the dawn of the 22nd century when the world is on the verge of environmental collapse. It's a grim, gray, totalitarian existence. No sunlight, no vegetation, no fresh food. The air is dirty and depleted of oxygen. The only hope for a future is the discovery of a time fracture which allows people to travel 85 million years into the past, to the Terra Nova Project.

The first glitch is our family, the Shannons, have violated strict population control laws by having a third child, and this lands Jim Shannon in prison. His prison-to-Terra-Nova path is the weakest part of the pilot. Luckily, that doesn't take up much time, so don't give up if the beginning drags for you.

Pan Am
Sunday, 10 p.m. on ABC

This series follows the lives of beautiful Pan Am stewardesses (and a few handsome pilots) in the early 1960s. It's a bit like "Playboy Club," but on an airplane. Also, less stuff happens.

"Pan Am" has oodles of retro glamour, but the light tone didn't work for me. Musically and visually, the pilot starts strong and ends strong. But sometimes in the middle, I felt like I was watching a slightly racy Disney movie. In fact, at one point when a stewardess was running through an airport to make her flight, I half-expected a shaggy dog or waddle of penguins to crash into her in a madcap fashion. I really think most of that is due to the soundtrack (note to ABC: more of the jazzy lounge singers, less of the swelling orchestral "Secretariat" theme music).

Apart from a few catty attendants and some extramarital shenanigans (light smooching is all we see), there's no real drama or tension until nearly the end. And even then, it's not very convincing. Still, given the interesting twist at the end, I'm holding out hope that "Pan Am" can make some adjustments and soar. But right now, it's not a show I'm the least bit excited about. Stars Christina Ricci, who looks fantastic.

Patrick Wilson is "A Gifted Man" (8 tonight, CBS), a wealthy, brilliant and controlled neurosurgeon who runs into his ex-wife (Winston-Salem native Jennifer Ehle) one day. Funny thing is, she's been dead for two weeks.

This is either going to be "Ghost Whisperer" & "Touched by An Angel" with a little more smarts or a really interesting exploration of faith and science and the rational mind.  Fingers crossed that it's the latter; Jonathan Demme directs the pilot and "Erin Brockovich" screenwriter Susannah Grant wrote and created the show, which I'll take as a good sign.

There are some lazy stereotypes (Julie Benz as the doctor's sister is a mess, so, of course, she's the one to introduce him to the hippy shaman who helps explain the spirit world), but Ehle has an ethereal quality that's almost heart-breaking, and Wilson has really good moments as a man having his way of life challenged.

Leave it to J.J. Abrams to distill post-9/11 paranoia and fear and turn it into great television.

In "Person of Interest" (9 tonight, CBS), Jim Caviezel is a former CIA agent with a mysterious past who ends up working for Michael Emerson, a scientist who has developed a way to see when crimes are going to be committed. The system lets them know who will be the victim, but not when or why. That's for Caviezel's character to unravel. Taraji P. Henson plays a cop trying to figure out what the heck is going on.

Caviezel channels Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry; he kick butts effectively and speaks with economy. Emerson is quirky and fastidious. This is the best odd couple of the season.

Abrams has hurt me before after developing a show with a great start ("Alias"!!). Please, please let this show stay as excellent as the pilot.

In "Whitney" (9:30 tonight, NBC), comedian Whitney Cummings plays Whitney Cummings, a photographer in a three-year relationship with her boyfriend Alex (Chris D'Elia); she has no interest in marriage.

The first episode is about whether the pair is having enough sex, which sounds very much like the kind of issue you have when you're married. 

"Whitney" needs to be a whole lot funnier, and needs a lot more creativity to distinguish itself, and I can't see the makings of that kind of transformation from the pilot.

I did see a to-die for trench coat worn by one of Whitney's friends.