Hallelujah! In the first five minutes of tonight's "Celebrity Apprentice," Donald Trump fired the insufferably bratty Aubrey O'Day. Yes!!

Not only did that mean Aubrey couldn't possibly win the competition, it meant Clay Aiken was a finalist -- against his pal Arsenio Hall.

"I'm having a little deja vu," Clay said, referencing the 2003 season of "American Idol" when he was a finalist on that show with Ruben Studdard. Arsenio joked that he's "not that heavy."

Trump asked Clay if "Celebrity Apprentice" was harder than "American Idol." "Oh, it's so much harder than American Idol," Clay answered.

The music ended for two contestants on last night's super-sized "Celebrity Apprentice" episode, both victims (in my humble opinion) of poor team leadership. But we'll get to that later (don't worry -- Clay Aiken is still safe). The most interesting part of last night's show was watching Arsenio Hall's slow burn build to a full inferno of hate, which engulfed his toxic -- but entertaining -- teammate Aubrey O'Day.

Just, wow. It's saying something when the person on your team most famous for crazy, violent freakouts (table-flipping reality star Teresa Guidice) is frightened by your outburst and thinks you might be unstable.

Filling in for Brooke tonight on the recap, and -- wouldn't you know it? -- it's Tar Heel homeboy Clay Aiken's star turn as project manager this week. Even though he will tell us repeatedly throughout the episode that he's "not a party person," Clay steps up to lead the men's team in ... planning a party for a new flavor of mock cocktails from Crystal Light.

His competition on the women's team is Aubrey O'Day -- she of the burnt orange hair piled atop her head like a Whoville denizen from that live-action Grinch movie. And guess what? Aubrey informs us she knows how to party, seeing as how she was once in Diddy's entourage AND was a sorority girl. Clay notes that Aubrey has been a party girl since she popped out of her mother's -- Wait, WHAT did he say? (Clay, please. This is a family recap.)

The men's team's Crystal Light flavor is peach bellini, so they come up with a beach-themed party with the tagline: "Life's a peach." Things generally go smoothly, though when Ivanka Trump shows up to check in, Dee Snider talks a little smack about Penn Jillette (who fought so memorably with Clay last week.)

Even though the drinks are allegedly nonalcoholic, the men's event has all the basics of a spring break frat party -- bikinis, limbo contests, lots of sand, tats, Kathie Lee and Hoda. (OK, there must be some real alcohol there somewhere.) Lots of Claymates show up, and Clay, above with Arsenio Hall, does a version of "Under the Boardwalk."

Two things might come to mind when you hear about "Nail Files" (TV Guide Network, 10 tonight) : 1) One day we will all have reality shows; 2) Does every (blank) to the stars have to have a reality show?

If you don't know, "Nail Files" follows Katie Cazoria, who owns a nail salon in Sherman Oaks, close enough for celebs like Debbie Gibson, Vanessa Hudgens, and others who need to have the very best in nail care.

Cazoria is a native New Yorker which means while she's adapted to the L.A. standard of blondeness and thinness, she's still kind of loud, speaks with her hands, and throws around plenty of cuss words. In other words, she's a character.

It's cheesy, it's gory, it's corny, it's Syfy's latest "Mega Python Vs. Gataroid", (9 tonight) starring 80s teen singers Debbie Gibson and Tiffany.

The plot is simple: When a bunch of giant pythons threaten the peacefulness of the Everglades, a ranger (Tiffany) sets out to end their rampage. When her efforts end in tragedy, she makes matters worse by adding rogue steroids to the mix, creating giant versions of gators and pythons and leading to mayhem. Gibson plays an animal activist. Kirsten Joosten is a fellow ranger; A Martinez plays the obligatory "I'm warning you" scientist.

Lots of folks get eaten or ripped apart.

There's no point actually reviewing this; it's supposed to be so bad it's good. And besides what really matters is this: who's the better bad actress, Tiffany or Debbie Gibson?

Former 80s teen pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany will battle it out in an upcoming original Syfy movie, "Mega Python vs. Gatoroid."

In the movie, which will begin filming this month, Tiffany will play a park ranger who uses dangerous methods to save endangered alligators. Gibson will play an animal rights activist who frees illegally imported exotic snakes from pet stores into the Everglades, where they grow to enormous sizes.

Rest assured, there are cat fight scenes. The script has Tiffany and Gibson fighting at a party and then fighting outside in a swamp.