Vampire Diaries (8pm, CW) - Elena, Jenna, and Damon are shocked and dismayed when John Gilbert (David Anders), Elena's biological father, returns to Mystic Falls. Meanwhile, Caroline is taken hostage and Tyler deals with the news that she and other vampires have murdered his uncle.
Big Bang Theory (8pm, CBS) - Sheldon takes acting lessons from Penny, hoping they will make him a better teacher.
$#*! My Dad Says (8:30pm, CBS) - Ed (William Shatner) gets jealous when a wealthy suitor (Lee Majors) tries to woo Rosemary (Jean Smart). I don't like this show and I'm only mentioning it out of my allegiance to "The Six Million Dollar Man" and "Designing Women."
"Million Dollar Listing" (9pm, Bravo) - Season 4 opens with a new cast member (Josh Altman replaces the insufferable Chad Rogers) tangling with an angry seller trying to market his chic home.
Parks & Recreation (9:30pm, NBC) - Leslie (Amy Poehler) wants to bury a Pawnee time capsule, but an odd suggestion from a local man (Will Forte) causes unforeseen consequences. Meanwhile, Andy seeks Chris's advice on how to win back April. All NBC comedies ("Community," "Perfect Couples," "The Office," "30 Rock," "Outsourced")are new tonight.
Archer (10pm, FX) - Broke after having been wiped out in a Ponzi scheme, Malory decides to sell ISIS to rival spy agency ODIN, whose chief (voice of Jeffrey Tambor) happens to be in love with her. The ISIS team tries to stop the sale and the romance.