That was our girl's excuse for her dismal performance during the POV contest.
Donned in space suits, the houseguests had to identify six merged faces of two houseguests in the shortest time possible to win POV and a Visio home entertainment system.
In the end, Jordan came in dead last, finishing in 5 minutes and 9 seconds.
Jeff didn't do so hot either at 3:01, but he's carried Jordan all along and in his time of need, she wanted to make him proud.
At least if you look at the results of Kevin's little game.
Kevin asked Jeff a series of questions about the type of women he's attracted to.
The list:
1. likes chicks in sweat pants with hair pulled back because if you can look pretty dressed that way, you are pretty.
2. prefers brunettes.
Dem's fighting words!
Our girl sweet Jordan went off when Russell, who was trying to mess with Jeff, got into it with Jordan, who sought to defend her man.
This confrontation followed an earlier shouting match in which Russell said that Jeff let his girlfriend fight his battles.
But in the second event, Russell was a bit more desperate to save himself from eviction, so he got more provocative. He called Jordan fat and said she should go eat cookie dough. It was on like popcorn.
It was bound to happen.
Our girl Jordan has tied her fortunes to Jeff, and it has worked. Jeff has proven himself an athletic threat and a strong competitor. While Jordan did win the POV on her own, Jeff gave her the HOH, and has pretty much protected her along the way.
So it was a bit inevitable that at this point of the game, with 6 players and the money within reach, when the stress got to Jeff, Jordan would be the whipping girl.
Because her momma told her.
The topic came up when she was suggesting that Jeff take her on the trip to Hawaii that he won last week. Jeff said if he was in Hawaii for 7 nights he wasn't just going to make out. Michele called Jordan a tease, but Jordan said she just believes in waiting until the right moment. Jeff insisted that Hawaii was the right moment. Jordan said that her mom always says that men think with their penises, not with their heads (I know what you're thinking, and shame on you!) and Jordan agrees.
She said if Jeff took her to Hawaii she would kiss and cuddle and that's it.
Good for you Jordan.
We were live again, but I must say with Chima gone, the drama quotient was muted. (Did you read Chima's apology for calling Russell a 'terrorist'?
Did you know Russell was Lebanese-American? Is Chima really so important that she needs to release statements to clarify things?)
It's all about gamesmanship now.
Our girl Jordan had a good week as HOH; she put up Lydia and Natalie for eviction and, she said, took bubble baths each night, a method she prefers to showers.
And that wasn't the end of her power reign.
Oh no she didn't!
Yes she did. That heifer Lydia called our girl Jordan a ho, a puppet ho at that.
But that's not the craziest thing that happened last night. Forty plus days in the house and crazy was running rampant.
OK, kinda.
But we should get to the real news first: Chima isn't on the show anymore.
CBS confirmed that they kicked Chima off. Chima says she wanted to leave.
The full story isn't out, but the fact that the show wasn't live last Thursday seems related, meaning she probably went ballistic. The coup d'etat displeased her. It seems Chima took the HOH to mean she was named Queen of the Universe and losing control to Jeff did not feel good.
I'm filling in for our vacationing "Big Brother" expert, Adrienne. She left me a cheatsheet so I'd know my way around Big Brother House, but I'm still not sure I know what the heck happened tonight. Plus, it turns out CBS did not even air the eviction show live, which I guess they normally do, because Chima had threatened to get very real if something or other didn't go her way tonight.
Our girl Jordan proved that she may not read books, but she reads people.
Jessie tried to manipulate her, but Jordan wasn't having it. She knew exactly what he was up to.
She didn't do much else this episode, but that was enough.
