I really wanted "Missing" to be good. And I really tried to find something positive to say about it. But ...

"Missing," which debuts tonight at 8 on ABC, stars Ashley Judd as a former CIA agent (she hasn't worked in 10 years) who travels to Europe to look for her son, who went missing while on a work-study trip in Italy.

For starters, there is not much about this show (adapted from the Liam Neeson thriller "Taken") that is believable. And even if you suspend disbelief -- which you must do in order to watch practically every other show on television -- the action looks fake, there is no suspense, the acting is bad, and the writing is worse. (I guess I'm just now realizing that Ashley Judd isn't an incredibly strong actress?)

With tonight's premiere of "GCB" (10 p.m.), it looks like ABC has in deed found its true "Desperate Housewives" replacement.

In fact, "Desperate Housewives of Dallas" might have been a more accurate and less confusing name than the family-friendly "GCB" title, adapted from Kim Gatlin's popular novel, "Good Christian Bitches" (ABC also, for awhile, called the show "Good Christian Belles.") 

In "GCB," Amanda Vaughn (Leslie Bibb, right) returns home to Dallas with her two teens after her Ponzi-scheming Santa Barbara husband is killed in a car accident while trying to flee the country with a few billion dollars and his slutty girlfriend.

Amanda, a reformed Mean Girl, believes the biggest problems in her reluctant return to Dallas will be getting a job and getting along with her super rich, controlling mother Gigi (Annie Potts, pictured with Bibb).

But what Amanda doesn't count on is having to survive the unholy wrath of the women she tormented in high school.

IIt's possible I'm just overly sentimental, but I'm really pulling for Billy Crystal to wow us as host of tonight's Academy Awards show.

But deep inside, I admit I'm a little worried he'll come off as corny and be criticized as too old-fashioned, which will depress me. (I know from my own Twitter feed during the Grammys how unforgiving we as a society can be of "old timers" taking the stage.)

So, I'm in your corner, Billy! Entertain us!

The Oscar show officially starts tonight at 8:30 on ABC, but ABC's Red Carpet show begins at 7:00. If you want to get an early start, E! has a Red Carpet show starting at 5:30. If you want to get a really early start, E! has a Countdown to the Red Carpet that starts at 1:30. 

I'll be doing a live recap here tonight starting around 7ish. David Menconi will also live blog from On the Beat.

In the meantime, here's a printable Oscar ballot so you can vote. To keep myself honest, I've attached my marked ballot below. I did a lot of guessing.

ABC has gone pretty darn creepy with their newest drama offering.

"The River," which has a two-hour debut tonight at 9, follows a group of fools (I believe that's the technical term) as they search the Amazon for a celebrity naturalist who, along with his entire crew, has been missing in the jungle for six months.

The search for Emmet Cole (Bruce Greenwood), the popular star of the "Undiscovered Country" series, quickly turns into a creepy, supernatural nightmare for everyone involved.

Today, after nearly 44 years, the soap "One Life to Live" is ending, and we already have a few friends shedding tears.

Happiness won't lie -- we weren't regular viewers, but as fans of all things TV, we couldn't let the moment pass.

So, we went to our friends at the Albany Times Union (credit staff writer C.J. Lais) and they graciously shared this quiz.

Wipe those tears so you can see clearly as you test your knowledge of life in Llanview, Pa. (We'll post the answers separately, later today.)

1. Longtime "OLTL" heroine Victoria Lord Gordon Riley Burke Riley Buchanan Buchanan Carpenter Davidson Banks has helped her portrayer, Erika Slezak, win a record six Daytime Emmys. But which one of these things never happened to Viki?

Television is a tough business, and so, history is strewn with failed series.

Some failed because they were bad; others because they were before their time.

Today, we offer two giveaway 2-packs that offer the shows' full first seasons AKA the complete series.

First up, "Sherri," the short-lived Lifetime sitcom based on the life of "The View" host Sherri Shepherd. The two-DVD set includes 13 episodes plus bonus webisodes featuring Ms. Shepherd's standup comedy.

We've paired that with "Huge," an acclaimed ABC Family show that starred Nikki Blonsky as a girl who attends fat camp and her relationships and adventures there.

The second package features "Off the Map," the ABC show from the preoducers of "Grey's Anatomy." You'll get more than 500 minutes of the show about young hot doctors in the South American jungle, plus bonus features like the cast discussing jungle medicine and cures.

That comes with the complete series of "Outsourced," the NBC sitcom about an American working at a call center in India. More than 7 hours of viewing with this one, plus a gag reel.

Want in? Just email here for the first package; and here for the second. We'll take entries until 7 tonight (12/20). We'll have a random drawing.

And we won't judge.

"Once Upon a Time"
Sundays at 8 p.m. on ABC

Okay, the premise of this new show is going to sound crazy, but bear with me.

Imagine all of the characters we know from fairytales once lived in their own magical world, until one day an evil queen placed a curse that trapped them in another world -- a world in which time for them stood still, and their happy endings were stolen.

Our world. A small town in present day Maine, to be exact.

"Once Upon a Time" bridges those two worlds with an adorable little boy named Henry (Jared Gilmore, who played poor Bobby Draper in "Mad Men") who seeks to rescue those magical characters and return them to their happy endings.

Guest blogger Lenni G. talks elimination night:

Lots of really good entertainment last night from Kelly Clarkson singing two of her hits, The Band Perry accompanied by Louis and Karina, and a real dancing discovery - Charm La'Donna from Compton, California, doing a krumping routine with Mark Ballas and Derek Hough.  This incredibly talented girl with a truly inspirational back story deserves to be seen again and again. 

On to the results:

Bottom three ended up being Hope and Maks (I told you so!), David and Kym (I was surprised), and Carson and Anna (I was bummed).

Guest blogger Lenni G recaps and make her elimination prediction:

It was all about the music from the 80's last night and we had the Bangles to get us in the mood.  Though this was supposedly the "decadent decade," just how depraved can a song like "Walk Like An Egyptian" be?  But I digress.
 
First out, Hope and Maks with a tango and Bon Jovi's "Livin' on a Prayer."  Len was all over Maks for his choreography which he felt was not suited to a tango, and chided Hope for her "willowy" body which he also felt was not suited to the tango.  Bruno thought Hope got the 80's super B---h down to a "T" as in strong, sexy and powerful.  Carrie Ann agreed it was strong, maybe too strong.  I was distracted by the discarded clothes in the middle of the dance floor and the fact that this couple, as Hope said, have a "love-love" relationship - they love to hate each other and it shows.  Judges' scores - 8's from all three for a total of 24.