Late Hits: Sept. 1

• Late Hits archive

ECU: The oft-ignored Pirates beat the ACC's best team at its own game and have humbled their reeling ACC neighbors. They have consecutive wins over two of the top-five winningest programs of the past 10 years (1, Boise State; 5, Virginia Tech). Given two extra shots — the Conference USA title game and a bowl — Skip Holtz has ECU in line to win 12 games for the first time in school history.

Pregame festivities: Aerial Adventures was supposed to deliver the game ball via skydivers for UNC's opener at Kenan Stadium. The parachute team descended on Duke's Wallace Wade Stadium instead.

Clemson had a similar plan for its offensive line, but the Georgia Dome roof kept the players out.

Preseason pollsters:  How many times will we play Charlie Brown to Clemson's Lucy? How could we be so gullible to rank the Tigers No. 9? Fool us once, shame on Tommy Bowden. Fool us twice, well, shame on Tommy Bowden. Listen to the rational Clemson fans and fire Tommy already. Save us from ourselves.

I-AA heavyweights: Three top-10 teams lost to ACC teams. The former Division I's lower level is called the Football Championship Subdivision, but "JV" would be more apt. There's no shame in No. 1 App State getting run over by LSU, but James Madison, which got three first-place votes, lost by 24 to Duke.

N.C. State: It's not that the Wolfpack imploded on national television in a 34-0 loss to South Carolina on Thursday, but that it offered little hope for the next 11 games and maybe beyond.

Theoretically, freshman quarterback Mike Glennon is being redshirted so he can lead the program for the next four years. If older brother Sean's genes are any indication, State fans better hope Mike is the Beyonce to Sean's Solange.

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WHAT'S A COMMISSIONER TO DO?

With apologies to Vanity Fair, John Swofford's Google searches:

• Damage control
• Ari Fleischer
• SEC and NCAA probation
• Cloning Jim Grobe
• Scheduling for a 16-team conference
• Big East football
• New York television market
• Sun Belt Conference football
• Little Rock television market
• Notre Dame
• Google maps: Greenville, N.C.
• Expiring television contracts ESPN
• What It Takes to Be No. 1: Vince Lombardi on Leadership
• College Football for Dummies (bulk)
• Final Four UNC

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COACHSPEAK-TO-ENGLISH TRANSLATION

"N.C. State is a pretty good team. They're not going to be the best team we play."

— South Carolina coach Steve Spurrier after handling the Wolfpack 34-0 in the opener.

Translation: I wish I was still coaching in the ACC.